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urukundo

Bimwe mu bibazo ukwiye kubaza umukunzi wawe mbere yo kurushinga.

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Akenshi uzasanga abenda gusezerana babazanya ibibazo bitandukanye harimo ibijyanye n’imyenda bazambara mu bukwe bwabo ndetse bumva bafitiye amatsiko umunsi w’ubukwe bwabo. Ni ngombwa ko mbere y’uko uhitamo umuntu muzabana akaramata ugomba kwitonda kuko ushobora kuzisanga ubaho utishimye mu rugo rwawe kuko utabanje kwitonda mbere y’uko wemeranya n’uwo muzabana.

Niyo mpamvu abahanga mu bijyanye n’imibanire hagati y’abantu batekereje kugaragaza ibibazo 10 ugomba kubaza uwo mwenda kurushinga kugirango umenye ko afite gahunda.

Abo bahanga mu bijyanye n’imibanire hagati y’abantu ari bo Olga Levancuka, Marisa Peer na Annabelle Knight ni bo bagaragaje ibi bibazo uko ari 10 umukobwa akwiriye kubaza uwo bateganya kurushinga kugirango abashe kwimenyera niba koko ari umukunzi wa nyawe.

1. Ni iki wumva uzajya ukunda gukora wishimisha nitumara kubana ?

Iki ni ikibazo abakobwa benshi bakunze kubaza abahungu mbere y’uko babana . Mu gihe ukibajije umuhungu ntuzatungurwe no kumva ibisubizo aguha bitandutakanye n’ibyo wowe wari witeze kwakira, icy’ingenzi hano ni ukumva icyo abivugaho. Akenshi abakobwa bizera ko bazashobora guhindura abagabo babo mu gihe bazaba bamaze kugera mu rugo ariko ibi siko biri kuko akenshi usanga hari ingeso umuntu atapfa guhindura. Niba umusore akubwiye ko azajya areba umupira buri gihe mu minsi y’ikiruhuko n’inshuti ze, zirikana ko muri icyo gihe biba bigoranye ko azajya akubonera umwanya kuko azajya arangiza iminsi y’akazi ubundi mu gihe mwakabaye muri kumwe abe ahugiye mu mupira.

2. Wumva ari iki kigushimisha mu rukundo rwacu ?

Igisubizo uzahabwa hano kizakwereka uko urukundo rwanyu ruhagaze . Bizagufasha kumenya agaciro aguha imbere ye, niba akubona nk’umuntu umufatiye runini cyangwa niba akubona nk’umuntu watuma ahungabana mu buzima bwe igihe atagufite.

3. Ese ni iki gituma uzigama amafaranga ?

Aho kugirango umubaze ku bijyanye n’amafaranga nyirizina, ushobora kubinyuza muri ubu buryo umubaza impamvu imutera kuba yakwizigamira. Ibi bikazagufasha kumenya niba hari ikintu yitaho mu buzima bwe. Bizatuma kandi umenya icyo amafaranga azajya yinjira mu rugo azajya akoreshwamo. Niba gukemura ibibazo byo mu rugo ari cyo kintu ashyira imbere, bizagufasha kumva ko muzatera imbere umuryango wanyu ukabaho neza.

4. Mubaze ku kijyanye n’imyemerere yanyu ndetse n’iyobokamana.

N’ubwo mwaba musengera mu idini rimwe, mushobora kuba mudahuje imyumvire ku bijyanye n’idini musengeramo, ni byiza kubimubaza ukabimenya. Niba mudahuje ukwizera nabyo ni byiza kubimenya kugirango mumenye uburyo muzajya mwubahana n’ubwo mudahuje idini n’imyemerere.

5. Ni hehe wumva wakwizihiriza umunsi mukuru wa Noheli, Ubunani… ?

Bitari ukumenya aho yishimira kuba yakwizihiriza uwo munsi mukuru gusa ahubwo bizagufasha kumenya niba agufata nk’umwe mu bagize ubuzima bwe. Kandi na none uzamenya niba yishimira kwizihiza iminsi mikuru ari kumwe n’umuryango we. Iki ni ikibazo cy’ingenzi kuko hari byinshi uzahamenyera kuko hari ubwo usanga umugabo adakunda kujyana n’umugore we ahantu henshi mu ruhame rw’abantu. Rero ibi bizagufasha kumenya niba yishimira kuba yagira aho mujyana muri kumwe.

6. Ese wumva abana tuzabyara bazaba bafite uwuhe mumaro mu buzima bwawe ?

Uwo muzabana ni ngombwa ko umenya niba afite igitekerezo cyo kuzabyara abana. Ubu ni bumwe mu buryo buzagufasha kumenya niba mu nshingano ze hazaba harimo abana muzabyarana. Bizatuma kandi umenya niba kugira abana benshi biri muri gahunda afite cyangwa niba yifuza kubyara bake.

7. Ese imibonano mpuzabitsina uyifata ute mu buzima bwawe ?

Iyi ni imwe mu ngingo zikunze guteranya ndetse no gusenya ingo zitari nkeya kubera bamwe baba batarabiganiriyeho mbere y’uko babana. Ni ingenzi rero kubaza uwo muteganya kurushinga kugirango wumve icyo abivugaho.

Ni ngombwa kumenya uko mubipanga kuko usanga ari igikorwa gikorwa habaye ukumvikana ndese no kuba mufite umwanya uhagije. Ibi bizabafasha kumvikana kandi birinde ko mutabyumva kimwe.

8. Iyo urakaye ni iki kigufasha kongera gutuza ?

Iki ni ikibazo kidakunze kubazwa cyane kandi gifite akamaro kanini kuko uba ugomba kumenya icyatuma uwo mubana agaruka mu byishimo igihe yaba yarakaye. Ashobora kukubwira ko uburakari bwe bushira ari uko agiye muri siporo. Ibingibi bikazagufasha kumenya uko uzajya umwitwara imbere igihe yarakaye.

9. Ubana ute na mama wawe ndetse na bashiki bawe ?

Kubaza uko abana na mama we ndetse na bashiki be bizagufasha kumenya uko ubusanzwe abana n’igitsina gore muri rusange. Iyo umaze kumva uko babana bituma umenya niba nawe azajya agufata neza cyangwa niba akenshi atazajya akwitaho. Ni ngombwa ko ubimubaza kuko uko yari abanye na bashiki be niko nawe muzabana n’ubwo hari bimwe bishobora guhinduka.

10. Ni gute tugiye kuzajya twuzuzanya ?

Ubwuzuzanye hagati y’abashakanye ni ingenzi cyane kuko ari imwe mu nkingi zifasha kugirango urugo rukomere kandi rutere imbere. Rero ufite inshingano zo kubaza uwo muteganya kubana ku bijyanye n’ubwuzuzanye bwanyu kuko bizagufasha kumenya niba hari ibyo muzajya mufatanya mu mibereho yanyu.

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urukundo

Ibintu by’ingenzi abagabo bishimira mu rukundo iyo bikozwe n’abagore babo.

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Ubusanzwe abagabo muri kamere yabo ntibakunda ibintu by’iraha, ndetse ahanini usanga banashimishwa n’utuntu duto cyane, usanga akenshi tunagoye kutumenya, ariko urubuga rwa internet yourtango.com ruvugako hari ibintu 7 byoroheje abagabo bakunda kandi bakanezezwa nabyo.

Dore 7 muri byo ni ibi bikurikira : Kwitabwaho no kugaragarizwa urukundo

Abagabo ngo bishimira kandi bagakunda abagore babitaho bakanabagaragariza urukundo harimo nko kumuha impano zitunguranye kabone n’ubwo yaba ihendutse, kumutegurira ifunguro akunda umutunguye, kumubwira ko akurutira abandi bagabo bose n’ibindi.

Kwerekwa ko gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina nabo ari iby’agaciro.

Gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ni ingenzi ku bakundanye
Burya ngo abagabo benshi bakunda abagore babereka ko bishimiye gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina nabo bakabonako atari ukubihatira abagore babo ahubwo ko nabo baba babakeneye. Birabashimisha cyane kandi bakabikunda kuruta abagore basa n’aho babihatirwa cyangwa se batabyitayeho.

Ukuri

Burya ngo abagabo aho bava bakagera banga umuntu ubabeshya, ahubwo ubakoreye ikosa ugasaba imbabazi ubabarirwa vuba ariko ngo iyo akuvumbuye wamuhishe ukuri niho bishobora kuba bibi mu rukundo cyangwa se no murugo.

Umutuzo

Burya ngo n’iyo baba bajya basahinda ariko bakunda abagore babaha umutuzo , kuko ngo bituma bumva baguwe neza, ntibakunda abagore babajagaraza, babatesha umutwe, ahubwo bifuza ababatwara gahoro.

Gutegurirwa ifunguro rya nijoro

Kuko ngo abagabo baba biriwe mu kazi burya ngo amafunguro ya saa sita ntakintu kinini amara mu kubagarira urukundo, ariko ngo iyo batashye bakitse imirimo baba bashaka ko abagore babo babitaho bakabategurira amafunguro.

Aha rero ngo usanga bayafashe banezerewe kandi bikavuga byinshi mu buzima bwabo kuko ngo aricyo gihe baba babonye cyo gutekereza no kuruhuka bitonze.Ngo iyo umugabo abikorewe biramushimisha cyane.

Kumvwa

Bakunda gutegwa amatwi kuko ngo bibereka ko bahawe agaciro.

Ubukwe

Abagabo bakunda kandi bakishimira gukora ubukwe, gusa ngo bagakunda kugira ikibazo cyo guhitamo uwo bazabana ubuzima bwose kuko batinya guhemukirwa cyangwa se kubaho ubuzima batishimiye nyuma yo kurushinga iyi ngo akaba arinayo mpamvu benshi muri bo usanga biyemeza kurushinga bamaze gukura bifatiye icyemezo batazicuza. Kandi ngo uwabukoze agahirwa mu rugo rwe yishimira kubivuga no kuba muri ubwo buzima.

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urukundo

Ibintu wakorera umukunzi wawe akaba atakwigera arota kuguca inyuma

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Muri iyi myaka ingo nyinshi zikunze gusenyuka bitewe n’ubwumvikane buke buri hagati y’abashakanye, burimo guhora mu ntonganya z’urudaca, kuba umwe mu bashakanye yarabaswe n’ingeso runaka nk’ubusinzi, gucana inyuma n’ibindi{…}.

Kugira ngo ibi byose byirindwe mu muryango, hari ibintu bitandukanye abashakanye bashobora gukora bigatuma umubano wabo uhora ari mushya mu maso yabo.

Hagati aho twabateguriye ibikorwa umugabo ashobora gukorera umugore we, bigatuma umugore amukunda ndetse bigatuma gucana inyuma hagati yabo biba umuziririzo.

1.Igihe uri kumwe n’umugore wawe mufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje mbese umutunguye.

2.Abagabo bakunda kugira akazi kenshi ariko burya umugore akunda umugabo ushakisha byibura iminota mike akajya ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma ukamuhamagara ukamwerekako umutekereza ukanamubwira ijambo “ndagukunda” kandi “ndakwemera.”

3.Gerageza gukorera umugore wawe ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.

4.Ujye ukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe n’umugore wawe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira , gusura abantu n’ibindi bitandukanye.

5.Jya wibuka amatariki umugore wawe afata nk’ingirakamaro mu buzima bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.

6.Jya ufata igihe utemberane n’umugore wawe ndetse mube mwahitamo no kutarara mu rugo mujye ahantu kure y’aho mutuye mufate nka hotel, ubundi ahasigaye mwiyibutse ibyo mwakoraga byose kera mutarabana.

7.Kora ubushakashatsi ku mugore wawe, umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.

8.Mu gihe uri kumwe n’mugore wawe mu rugo musange mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi rero ngo biramushimisha kabone n’iyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.

9.Jya ukunda guha impano umugore wawe akenshi ndetse wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.

10.Igihe cyose uri kumwe n’mugore wawe, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.

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urukundo

Ibintu iby’ingenzi ugomba kwirinda gukora niba ushaka kuryoherwa no gutera akabariro mu buryo busesuye.

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Mu rwego rwo gushimisha no koryoherwa n’icyo gikorwa hari ibintu ukwiye kwirinda, bimwe muri byo:

1.Irinde kunywa inzoga n’itabi:

ugomba kwirinda inzoga n’itabi niba wifuza gukora neza imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko inzoga cg itabi bibuza igitsinagabo gufata umurego kimwe no kugabanya intangangabo mu mubiri. Aho kunywa inzoga, wakwinywera divayi itukura (red wine) nabwo gacye, kuko yo ituma amaraso atembera neza, ariko ibaye nyinshi nayo ituma bitagenda neza.

2.Irinde mu buryo bwose cg ugabanye stress:

ugomba kwirinda cyane stress no gutekereza ibiri hanze y’icyo gikorwa. Stress yangiza ubuzima idasize ubushake bwawe bwo gukora imibonano. Uko stress yiyongera, niko yongera uko umutima utera bityo n’umuvuduko w’amaraso ukiyongera. Ingaruka ziba kubura ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura stress, ni ukubiganira n’umufasha wawe mukareba icyo mwakora, undi muti mwiza wa stress ni sport. Gukora sport bigabanya stress bityo bikongera ubushake bwo kwishimana n’uwo mwashakanye.

3. Irinde kurya ibiryo byinshi:

kurya cyane bitera kugira ubunebwe no kumva usinzira, cyane cyane iyo ibyo wariye birimo ibinyampeke byinshi (umuceri, ibigori, kawunga, makaroni,…). Ushobora ahubwo kwihitiramo imbuto n’amazi ahagije kuko bizagufasha kugira imbaraga.

4.Kwikinisha byo bigendere kure:

cyane cyane ku bagabo kwikinisha cyane igihe kirekire bitera igitsinagabo gutinda gufata umurego. Nubwo hari bamwe bakunda kubikora mbere yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, bagamije kuza gutinda kurangiza nyuma ibi ni bibi cyane, kuko byangiza uburyohe no kwishimana hagati y’abashakanye mu gihe cy’igikorwa.

5.Ugomba kwirinda kunywa ibinyobwa byongera imbaraga (energy drinks):

ushobora kwibwira ko ibi binyobwa byongera imbaraga nyamara sibyo. Birimo isukari igufasha kumva ugize imbaraga igihe gito, ariko birangira wumva warushye cyane, bityo ntube wanashimisha uwo mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina.

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urukundo

Ibimenyetso bizakwereka ko nubwo umukunzi wawe akwishimira mu buriri ariko atagukunda na gato.

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Ukuri kurababaza ariko nanone akariho karavugwa. Ushobora kuba wibwira ko mukundana ndetse mukanaryamana uvuga uti uyu musore/mugabo ni inshuti nyayo ariko we akaba atagukunda na gato.

Burya rero hari ibimenyetso washingiraho muri gukora imibonano na nyuma yo kuyikora ukamenya ko atagukunda na gato, ahubwo yishakiraga kurangiza byonyine. Ni byo iyi nkuru igiye kuvugaho

1. Arikunda

Niba mu gihe muri mu gikorwa atita ku kugutegura ahubwo akihutira guhita yinjiza igitsina cye mu cyawe, icyo areba ni uko we arangiza, wowe ibyawe ntacyo bimubwiye. Niba adashaka ko nawe wishima, aho rwose burya agufata nk’uwo kurangirizaho irari gusa

2. Nyuma y’imibonano yigira mu bye.

Ubundi umuntu ugukunda niyo mumze gukora imibonano akuguma hafi, ntabwo ahita yigira muri telefoni, cyangwa ngo ahite abyuka agenda. Akuba hafi, akaba akuganiriza, akakuguyaguya, mukaruhuka. Gusa nanone ashobora guhita agenda cyangwa guhugira mu bindi ariko ubizi ko ari akazi ari gukora cyangwa ibindi bibafitiye inyungu mwembi. Ariko niba nta byo, icyo yashakaga yakibonye ushaka wanagenda

3. Mu buriri akora uko abyumva ntakora uko ushaka.

Ubusanzwe umugore wese arihariye. Hari ukunda kunyazwa hakabaho ukunda kwinjira imbere, hari ukunda kuryama hakaba ukunda kwicara, n’ibindi. Iyo mukundana aba azi neza ko wihariye bityo mu kubikora mwumvikana uburyo bikorwamo, ubugushimisha n’ubumushimisha. Ntabwo akurambika ngo abikore uko abishaka gusa, aho aba yagufashe muri rusange ntaba yagufashe nk’aho wihariye.

4. Akora bucece

Ubusanzwe umuntu ugukunda ntabwo ahugira mu gikorwa gusa ahubwo ananyuzamo akajya akuvugisha, akubaza uko uri kubyumva, akubwira uburyo umuryohera, uburyo akwishimiye, n’utundi tugambo twiza dutuma urushaho kwishimira igikorwa. Naho niba akwambura atavuga agakora ibyo akora buragi, akarinda arangiza nta no kukubaza uko ubyumva, ndakurahiye nta rukundo rurimo

5.Ntiyita ku mipaka washyizeho

Umugabo ugukunda aha agaciro amagambo nka “Ba uretse”, cyangwa “Tubikore mu kanya”. ariko niba we akomeza kukwereka ko abishaka atitaye ku mpamvu zawe, mu kuri irari rirusha ingufu ibindi kuri we kandi aramutse agukunda yakumva.

Nubwo aguhaza mu buriri ariko mu mutima wumva atarimo
Bamwe twishuka ko gushimishanya mu buriri bihagije ariko burya ntibiba bihagije mu gihe mu marangamutima mutiyumvanamo. Niba mu mibonano ari ho mukenerana ariko twa tugambo twiza ntimutubwirane, nta mutoma muterana, nta na kimwe gikorwa cyerekana ko mukundana. Aguhamagara gusa mu gihe agushaka ko muryamana ariko ntiyaguhamagara ngo akwifurize ibihe byiza, akubaze uko waramutse…

6.Nta mpinduka

Umuntu mukundana ntibigarukira mu kuryamana gusa ahubwo hazamo iterambere mu mubano. Kabone niyo mwaba mudateganya kubana ariko urukundo ruriyongera rugakura, mbese ukamenya byinshi bye, akamenya byinshi byawe, akakwereka inshuti nawe ukazimwereka, …

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urukundo

Akamaro ko gutereta umuntu utuye kure yawe.

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Abenshi bashobora gutekereza ko gukundana n’umuntu uri kure nta byiza byabyo ariko urubuga elcrema rugaragaza ibyiza byo gukundana n’umuntu ukuri kure ku buryo mubonana buri wese yifuza undi.

1. Ntabwo umuburira akanya

Iyo uziko umuntu mukundana aba kure, ukora uko ushoboye ukamuha agaciro , uko akazi kaba kameze kose ntiwabura umwanya wo kumuvugisha.

2. Byongera icyizere

Icyizere ni ikintu cy’ingenzi hagati y’abakundana kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rurambe, iyo uziko umuntu aba kure yawe bigufasha gukuza icyizere.Iyo rero uri kure y’uwo ukunda biba bigusaba kugabanya kumukeka ahubwo ukamwizera

3. Umenya ko urukundo rudashingiye ku kuryamana gusa

Icyiza cyo gukundana n’umuntu uri kure yawe nuko umenya gutandukanya urukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Muri iri iyi minsi bamwe mu bakundana bumva ko urukundo rushingiye ku kuryamana, nyamara ikiba gihangayikishije ku bantu bakundana bari kure si uburyo umwe ataryamana n’undi ahubwo ni uburyo amarangamutima yabo atuma bahora bameze nk’aho bari kumwe.

4. Ubona umwanya wo kwiteza imbere

Umuntu ufite umukunzi kure ye usanga atera imbere abyigejejeho nta kwishingikiriza ku mukunzi we, abasha kandi kwigenga nta gendere buri gihe ku bitekerezo by’uwo bakundana.

Hari nubwo biguha umwanya wo gukora ibyo ukunda utari kubonera umwanya iyo muza kuba muhorana n’inshuti yawe, nko guteka n’utundi turimo tugushimisha.

5. Bituma ushyiramo imbaraga

Iyo inshuti yawe iri kure bituma urushaho gukora cyane kugira ngo nimunabonana uzabe ukimubereye utaramuhararutswe.

Ntabwo utakaza umwanya mupfa utuntu tw’ubusabusa, niyo muhuye buri wese aba afite ibyo kuganira no kunguranaho ibitekerezo.

6. Kuganira biba byiza

Kugira ngo urukundo rwa kure rurambe kuganira no guhanahana amakuru bigomba kwitabwaho kuko niyo nzira iba ishoboka kugira ngo mukomeze kurambana.

Usanga abantu bakundana bari kure, buri munsi baba bafite uburyo bavuganamo, bahanahanamo amakuru bakarushaho kwishimana.

7. Uhinduka umwizerwa

Uba umwizerwa iyo uri kure y’uwo mukundana, ntabwo wifata uko ubonye kuko uba uvuga uti nubwo hari abandi nshobora kuba nakundana nabo ariko abimenye yavuga ko mbitewe nuko ari kure.

Icyo gihe uritwararika kandi bituma uhinduka umwizerwa kuri we kuko niyo yabaza abandi asanga utarahindutse.

8. Iyo mwabonanye murishimana kakahava

Iyo bibaye ngombwa abakundana umwe aba kure y’undi bagahura barishimana, bakaganira ,bagaseka , nta kanya kabo gapfa ubusa.

Umwanya wose bawubyaza umusaruro bakishimira ubuzima kandi ntihabeho guhararukanwa.

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