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Menya akamaro Filime z’ubusambanyi zifite ku bashakanye

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Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko 46% by’abagabo na 31% by’abagore baba bareba filimi za porono buri cyumweru.  Abantu benshi bakunze kwirinda kuvuga ku byiyumviro byabo ku byerekeye filimi z’urukozasoni, gusa abahanga bamaze gutangaza ko izi filime buri wese akwiye kumva ko ntacyo zitwaye bitewe n’uburyo zarebwemo ku mpande zombi.

Dr.Jessica O’Reilly, umuhanga mu by’imibanire y’abantu ukomoka muri Canada, mu kiganiro Sex with Dr.Jess podacast akorera kuri televiziyo imwe muri icyo gihugu kivuga ku by’imibanire n’imyororkere, yavuze ko porono zishobora no kuba inyungu ku bazireba bitewe n’uburo yazirebyemo. Ati «Muri make zishobora no kubera inyungu k’uwazirebye bitewe n’uburyo zakoreshejwemo.»

yongeyeho ati «Hari imvugo twizera ngo kureba porono nbishobora guteza ibyago ku wazirebye. Ariko ikintu kiza ni ukubikorera ubushakashatsi bw’ukuri, iyo ubukoze usanga porono zidateza ibyago nkuko twe abantu dusanzwe tubyizera.»

Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu myaka yashize bwari bwagaragaje ko kureba filime z’urukozasoni bitera abakundana gutandukana n’izindi ngaruka. Gusa, ibyo bitandukanye n’ibyatangajwe n’abahanga ubwo babazwaga ibijyanye na porono. Aba bavuze ko ubwo bushakashatsi bwari ubw’ibinyoma ko nta kuri kuri mu byabuvuyemo.

D.r Jessica yatangaje ko ibintu by’ibihuha bibaho ko umuntu ureba filime za porono ahora ashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse ko zishobora kuba intandaro y’itandukana ry’abashakanye, ko ibyo byose ari ibihuha ntaho bihuriye n’ukuri kandi ko ibya porono biterwa n’uburyo uwazirebye yitwaye ubwo yazirebaga ku nshuro ye ya mbere.

Mu bushakashatsi buherutse gukorwa muri kaminuza ya Muchigan (Michigan State University) yo muri Amerika, bwagaragaje ko filimi za porono zirangwa n’ubushobozi bwo kuzamura cyane ubushake bw’imubonano mpuzabitsina cyane cyane ku bagore barenze umwe iyo bazirebye bari kumwe. Gusa ubushakashatsi buvuga ko ukuri kwa byose guterwa n’impamvu ureba porono yahisemo kuzireba.

Ubushakashatsi buvuga ko filimi za porono zishobora kuba ikibazo mu gihe umwe mu bashakanye azirebye ari wenyine atari kumwe na mugenzi we. Iyo porono zakoreshejwe n’umwe, ndetse agatangira kuzirutisha’urukundo, igihe’ n’ibindi bimuhuza n’uwo bashakanye, ko bishobora kuba ikibazo. Ariko iyo abakundana bazirebanye bombi nta ngaruka na nkeya zo kureba izo filime.

Dr.Jessica yagize ati «Abantu bakunze kuvuga ko bamaze kubatwa na filimi za porono, ariko ukuriu ni ; niba koko porono ziba ikibazo ku mubano w’uwo mwashakanye, ikibazo si porono ahubwo niba wumva ari zo zigomba kuza imbere, hashobora kuba hari ikindi kibazo kiri mu mubano kibitera ariko kitari filimi za porono.»

Dr. Jessica akomeza avuga ko ku bijyanye no gucana inyuma, filimi za porono sizo ntandaro yo gucana inyuma, ahubwo biba ari ikibazo iyo uwo mwashakanye ashaka imibonano iyo abanje kureba izo filimi. «Kureba filimi za porono ukumva ko ugomba gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nkuko abazikina bayikora, byaba ari ikibazo kuko ariya mashusho ntabwo aba ari ay’ukuri. Iyo tugerageje kubikora nkuko babikora mu mashusho duhita tugwa hasi.»

Abajijwe inama yagira abantu ku kibazo kijyanye na porono Dr. Jessica O’Reilly yagize ati «Koresha filimi za porono nkuko bikwiye nk’izikwigisha uko imibonano ikorwa, kandi ube inyangamugayo n’umwizerwa imbere y’uwo mwashakanye. Bitari ibyo ntabwo wifitemo ubushobozi bwo kuzireba mu gihe ziguhindura ikindi kintu. Nk’uko zigaragaza ukwisanzura no kwidagadurana n’uwo mwashakanye mu mashusho yazo, abantu basobanukiwe bo bungukira byinshi mu kuzireba bijyanye n’imibanire myiza ku bashakanye.»

Tubibutse ko filimi z’urukozasoni pornography, bitemewe kuzireba uri munsi y’imyaka 18 kuko bishobora kukwangiriza intumbero n’ikerekezo cyawe cy’ejo hazaza, bitewe no kwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ushobora kwanduriramo agakoko gatera SIDA.

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urukundo

Ibyo wakorera umubiri wawe niba ushaka guhora utemba itoto.

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Ku bantu benshi uko imyaka yiyongera niko bagira ubwoba ko ubuzima n’imikorere y’umubiri bigenda bigabanuka. Umubiri ugenda utakaza ubushobozi bwawo bwo gukora neza, ndetse bakagira ubwoba ko indwara zikomeye nk’iz’umutima, diyabete, kanseri, indwara z’imitsi ndetse n’umubyibuho ukabije zigiye gutangira kubibasira.

Uko imyaka igenda yiyongera niko n’uruhu rugenda rusaza, bigahangayikisha benshi, bahora bifuza kugaragara nk’aho bakiri bato.

Dore ibintu 5 wakora niba wifuza guhora ugaragara uri muto kandi ukeye.

1.Kwita cyane ku buzima bwawe.

Iyo ukunze ubuzima nabwo buragukunda. Ubuzima buzira umuze nibwo bugena uburyo ubuzima bwawe buryoshye cg bugenda neza, umuntu muri rusange agizwe n’ibintu bitandukanye. Hari ibintu by’ingenzi bituma umuntu avuga ko ameze neza; ubuzima mu miterere (physical) ni ukuvuga mu mubiri nta ndwara afite, yishyimye (moral), atekereza neza (mental), uko ubana n’abandi (social) ndetse n’uburyo abanirana n’uko witwara (spiritual). Iyo ibi byose bimeze neza nawe urushaho kumurerwa neza.

2. Ibyo urya n’uburyo ubiryamo.

Kugira ngo ubashe kuramba no kubaho umerewe neza, ibyo urya ndetse n’uburyo ubiryamo bigira uruhare runini. Niba wifuza guhorana itoto no gukomeza kugaragara neza ibyo urya byabigufashamo cyane. Uturemangingo tugize umubiri tubaho neza ari uko turya indyo yuzuye; itarangwamo uburozi, imyanda yangiza umubiri n’ibiryo bibi muri rusange, bishobora kudindiza ukwiyuburura kwatwo no gukomeza gukura no gukora neza

3. Imyitozo ngorora mubiri.

Ubuzima bwo kwicara no kudakoresha ingingo zawe, biri mu bisazisha umubiri. Niba wifuza guhorana itoto no kurushaho kugaragara neza, sport yagakwiye kuba ingenzi mu buzima bwawe. Ni ingenzi cyane ku buzima kuko ifasha gukomeza kugira itoto, no kurwanya indwara nyinshi ziterwa n’imikorere mibi y’umubiri.

Sport zikomeza imikaya zikarinda uturemangingo kwangirika. Ku bashakanye, gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina na byo biri mu bigufasha guhorana itoto ndetse ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko uyikora kenshi bituma uko aboneka bimugabanyirizaho imyaka 10, ni ukuvuga yaba afite nka 40 ukamucyekera 30.Imyitozo ngorora mubiri ifasha umubiri guhorana itoto no kurushaho kurinda gusaza.

4.Gutekereza neza no kugira imyumvire iboneye.

Uko ugenda ukura mu myaka, nibyo ko umubiri ugenda utakaza ubushobozi bwo gukora, ariko imyumvire yawe nuko witwara bigira uruhare runini mu kongera uburyo ugaragara. Bajya bavuga ko umuntu agaragara uko yiyumva. Gukoresha ubwonko n’ibitekerezo byawe mu buryo bunogeye kandi bwubaka bizagufasha kubaho igihe kirekire no guhorana itoto.

Uko wibona n’uko ubona ubuzima muri rusange bizongera cg bigabanye kwigunga, stress, intonganya kimwe no kugira umujinya muri rusange byica abantu benshi kurusha imyaka cg indi ndwara, ushoboye kubyirinda, byagufasha kubaho ubuzima buzira umuze.

5. Gusabana no kubanira abandi neza birinda gusaza

Ubusabane n’imibanire myiza biri mu birinda ubusaza, bikongera guhorana itoto.Gukoresha ibirinda gusaza n’ibisohora uburozi mu mubiri.Aha mbere, haboneka ibi byose ni mu ifunguro rikize kuri vitamin E, vitamin C na beta carotene.

Vitamin E igabanya ibyago byo kwibasirwa n’indwara z’umutima, ikongerera umubiri ubudahangarwa kimwe na vitamin C na beta carotene. Ibi byose bigomba kuba mubyo ufata umunsi ku munsi kugira ngo urusheho guhorana itoto no kwirinda indwara. Ibiryo bikungahaye ku birinda gusaza harimo epinari, amacunga, indimu, karoti, broccoli, ibirayi, imineke, almonds kimwe n’ubunyobwa

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urukundo

Umutoma uryoshye umusore yabwira umukobwa akarushaho kumwegurira umutima we.

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Iribagiza ribitse uburanga
Karabo kabengerana ubutoya
Ndeba disi nkubitse ibanga :

Ntukababare nzahakubera,
Kukubangikanya nzabirwanya
Abadutanya sinzabumva
Nzakubera uko ubimbwira
Tuzibarukana n’ibibondo !!
Sinzatuza kugutetesha

Nzitangira wowe natoye
Nzabitinya ibyo utifuza
Nzagutuza ahataba itiku
Uture iteka ahatekanye !
Nzagukunda ntakwiranda
Nzitondera ibyo udakunda
Nzakurinda ibyaguhanda
N’agahinda nzagahinda

Mu kugukunda sinziganda !!
Nzitangira kuba inyanzi
Nzirikane wowe nakunze
Nzibukire bimwe udakunze
Kuko unyanze byo byanzonga
Mubo nakunze wowe urarenze !

Nususuruka nzagusanga
Nusuhererwa ngususurutse
Nusitara nzagusama
Tuzasangira ibyo dusanze
Duzasaranganye n’agasosi !!

Nzitanga mu bifututse
Iby’amafuti nzabitinya
Nite iteka kubidutunga
No gutoza abato ubutore
Nidufatanya bizatubera !!

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urukundo

Menya igihe cya nyacyo wowe n’umukunzi wawe mukwiye gusomana.

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Gusoma uwo ukunda ni ikintu kimwe cyiza mu biba hagati yanyu. Ushobora kumusoma igihe cyose ushakiye, nkuko na we agusoma iyo bimujemo. Ubusanzwe ku muntu mukundana ntiwakamusabye uburenganzira bwo kumusoma, kuko ni igikorwa ubusanzwe cyo kumwereka ko umwishimiye, umukunda, muri kumwe.

Ariko ntitwabura kuvuga ko hari ibihe by’ingenzi, bya ngombwa, biba byiza kutibagirwa gusoma umukunzi wawe.

Nibyo tugiye kuvuga hano:

1.Iyo umusezera

Niba agiye ku kazi, niba se agiye mu butumwa, mu rugendo, ni byiza kumarana na we akanya, mugahoberana, nuko ukamusoma, byaba akanya gato cyangwa kanini. Ibi bituma yiriranwa akanyamuneza ndetse akumva muri kumwe

2.Mwitsimbye

Hari igihe mushobora gusura ababyeyi bakabasiga muri salon, cyangwa se mukaba mwasohokanye n’izindi nshuti, mukaba ari mwe mutumwa kuzana ibyo kunywa, mu bihe bisa nk’ibi, iyo mufashe akanya niyo waba umunota umwe gusa mugasomana, muraryoherwa kandi mugahora mubikumbura kandi amasaha asigaye ntabarambira kuko muba mufite akamwenyu n’akanyamuneza

3.Mwiyunze

Nyuma yo gutongana, gushwana se, muraganira mukiyunga. Rero kimwe mu byo mwagakoze mumaze kumvikana kwiyunga no kubabarirana, gusomana ni kimwe mu bizamura ibyiyumviro n’amarangamutima

4.Iyo ababaye

Aha si ngombwa kumusoma ku munwa wanamusoma ku kiganza, ku gahanga se, ku itama, ikimenyetso cy’uko uri kumwe na we kandi mwifatanyije. Hamwe no kumusoma, nyuzamo umuhobere, umwiyegereze akwegameho, bitera gutuza

5.Mu gicuku

Aha umusoma umutunguye kuko hari n’igihe atabimenya ko wamusomye, cyane cyane iyo asinziriye agaheza. Ariko iyo adasinziriye akumva urifashe uramusomye abyumvamo kumwereka ko igihe cyose uba umutekereza kandi uba umukumbuye niyo muryamanye

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urukundo

Zimwe mu mpamvu zituma uterwa indobo.

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Mu buzima bwacu bwa buri munsi nta gishimisha nko gukunda ugakundwa kuko uba wumva uri mu munezero no mu munyenga. Nyamara nubwo bimeze bityo hari igihe bibaho ko uwo wari wizeyeho urukundo arukwima cyangwa se akakwihinduka ku munota wa nyuma. Guterwa indobo (nkuko ari ryo zina byabatijwe) birababaza kandi bigashengura umutima bikarushaho kuba bibi cyane iyo uwo wari wizeyeho urukundo wari wara maze kumwimariramo wese.

Guterwa indobo bamwe babyiyibagiza biyahuza inzoga n’ibiyobyabenge. Nubwo ibi bikuraho agahinda by’igihe gito, ntabwo biba bicyemuye ikibazo burundu kuko iyo bigushizemo urongera ugatekereza ku byakubayeho.

Nubwo akenshi usanga dushinja abaduteye indobo ko baduhemukiye, ku rundi ruhande ushobora gusanga na wa wundi wimwe urukundo abifitemo uruhare nkuko muri iyi nkuru tugiye kubivuga.

1.Uwo usaba urukundo ntiyiteguye.

Buri wese agira uko ayobora amarangamutima ye kandi urukundo narwo ruyoborwa n’amarangamutima. Mu gushaka uwo musangira urukundo hari igihe ugwa ku muntu utiteguye kuruguha uko urushaka. Biterwa n’impamvu nyinshi. Ashobora kuba hari imipaka runaka yishyiriyeho ituma igihe yihaye ngo akundane kitaragera. Ashobora kuba ari mu gahinda k’uwo yakundaga batandukanye, witabye Imana, cyangwa ukundi guhangayika gutuma adashaka umujyana mu bintu by’inkundo.

Nuko wamubwira ko wifuza ko mukundana agahita aguhakanira Atari uko akwanze ahubwo kuko kuri we igihe kitaragera. Niho uzumva umuntu ashobora kukubwira ati ibyo uzabimbwire mu myaka ibiri iri imbere, itanu se cyangwa akakubwira ko bitamurimo. Iyo ushoboye kwihangana ugategereza hari igihe kigera amaze gutuza urukundo mukarusangira.

2.Ntuzi ibyo urimo.

Nibyo koko hari abantu bajya mu rukundo batazi ibyo barimo. Ukumva muri wowe ushaka gukundana ariko ibikorwa byawe bikagaragaza ko utari mu murongo wo gukundana. Bishobora kuba ubumenyi bucye bwo gutereta, kutabasha kwerekana icyo ushaka koko cyangwa se kuba udakuze mu mutwe mu bijyanye n’urukundo.

Aha hanazamo guhuzagurika ukaba mvuye aha ngiye aha, ibi rero uwo wifuzaho urukundo abibonamo kutamenya icyo ushaka cyangwa se kudakura.
Ibuka ko abantu dutandukanye kandi imirimo ibiri yananiye impyisi.

Wivanga gukunda no gushaka akazi no kwiga no gushaka ubuzima n’ibindi kuko urukundo rusaba ko uba utuje kugirango uhe umwanya uhagije uwo ukunda cyane cyane mu gutangira kuko iyo rumaze gukomera noneho ibindi wajya wabikora kuko nawe abigufashamo. Nta gihe ntarengwa cyo gushaka urukundo, rero wicyeka ko igihe cyakurenganye ngo uhutireho kandi mu mutwe utiteguye bihagije.

3. Ntabwo uri kugeza aho ashaka.

Aha niho ruzingiye wa mugani wa wa muririmbyi. Ikintu kibaho kigoye ni ukumenya uwo ushaka gukunda uko ashaka gukundwa cyangwa uburyo bwiza bwo kumwereka urukundo. Gutereta si ibintu bihita byizana urabyiga ukaniga uwo utereta.

Wikigira uwo utari we ngo ucyeke ko aribwo uzakundwa. Amagambo umubwira, igihe uyamubwirira, ibyo umukorera n’igihe ubikorera byose hamwe n’ibindi binyuranye usabwa kubyitaho no kubimenya bihagije.

Icya mbere usabwa ni ugukanda kuri bouton ituma yirekura akakwibwira wese ku buryo amarangamutima ye uyamenya nawe ukamubwira ayawe. Aha iyo umaze kuhamenya uba wabashije gutsinda igitego.

Niho uzasanga hari ukubwira ati kuva nabaho sindaterwa indobo, undi akubwire ko izo amaze kurya atazi umubare wazo. Byose biva mu kumenya uko utwara urukundo.
Hano uzirikane kandi wibuke ko abantu bose Atari bamwe bityo ntugirengo uko Rucahaga yaterese Mukamusoni niko Busyete azatereta Nyirandizanye.

Oyaaaa. Uwo ushaka ko mukundana arihariye nkuko nawe wihariye ahubwo kora uko ushoboye umenye ibyatuma umutima we uwubonamo ikibanza kandi nugeramo ukore ibituma ugumamo kuko uko wamubonye niko n’abandi bamubona ucunze nabi bagukuramo (ukarya gapapu).

4. Ushyize imbere imibonano gusa.

Aha hareba cyane abagabo kurenza ko hareba abagore. Burya umuntu ugenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntabwo wamuyoberwa keretse nawe uri impumyi. Uko uganira, ibiganiro ukunda kumujyanamo, ahantu uba ushaka ko muhurira, amasaha uba ushaka ko muhura byose ashobora kubishingiraho akamenya ko ikikuraje ishinga ari imibonano gusa. Aha rero naba umukobwa utagenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntugirengo urukundo rwanyu ruzarenga umutaru.

Niba unagenzwa koko n’imibonano kuko nabwo ni uburenganzira bwawe, kuki utabimubwira udaciye ku ruhande ariko? Ushobora gusanga nawe muri mu nzira imwe cyangwa se Atari ko bimeze bityo bigahagarara hakiri kare utabanje kuvunika cyangwa gushoramo imitungo.

Muri macye guhakanirwa urukundo birababaza kandi biremerera umutima ariko buri wese aba akwiye kureba ku ruhande rwe niba nta ruhare yaba abigiramo bityo guhindura imiteretere n’imikundire bikaba uburyo bwiza bwafasha gukunda no gukundwa nkuko ubyifuza.

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urukundo

Bimwe mu bibazo by’ingenzi ukwiye kubaza uwo mwitegura kurushingana.

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Ubuzima bwa kimuntu biba byiza iyo habayeho kumenyana byimazeyo maze bigatuma umwe yiyumvamo undi kuko yumva ko hari icyo amubikiye nkamwe mu mabanga ye aba yaragiye amubitsa .

Uyu munsi rero bakunzi ba YEGOB twabateguriye amwe mu magambo y’ibibazo wagakwiye kuzajya ubaza uwo mwitegura kuzabana kugirango urusheho kumenya byinshi kuri we.

Ibi rero ni bimwe mu bibazo by’ibanze wagakwiye kuzajya ubaza uwo mwitegura kubana.

1.Ese ni gute ufata urukundo rwacu twembi?

Igisubizo uzahabwa hano kizakwereka uko urukundo rwanyu ruhagaze . Bizagufasha kumenya agaciro aguha imbere ye, niba akubona nk’umuntu umufatiye runini cyangwa niba akubona nk’umuntu watuma ahungabana mu buzima bwe igihe atagufite.

2. Ese niba ujya uzigama niiki gituma uzigama amafaranga?

Ibi bizagufasha kumenya agaciro umukunzi wawe aha amafaranga, icyo amafaranga azajya yinjira mu rugo azajya akoreshwamo. Niba gukemura ibibazo byo mu rugo ari cyo kintu ashyira imbere, bizagufasha kumva ko muzateza imbere umuryango wanyu ukabaho neza.

3. Ibibazo ku bijyanye n’imyemerere n’iyobokamana byanyu.

N’ubwo mwaba musengera mu idini rimwe, mushobora kuba mudahuje imyumvire ku bijyanye n’idini musengeramo, ni byiza kubimubaza ukabimenya. Niba mudahuje ukwizera nabyo ni byiza kubimenya kugirango mumenye uburyo muzajya mwubahana n’ubwo mudahuje idini n’imyemerere.

4. Ni hehe wumva wakwizihiriza iminsi mikuru?

Ntuzamubaze gutya bitari ukumenya aho yishimira kuba yakwizihiriza uwo munsi mukuru gusa ahubwo bizagufasha kumenya niba agufata nk’umwe mu bagize ubuzima bwe. Kandi na none uzamenya niba yishimira kwizihiza iminsi mikuru ari kumwe n’umuryango we. Iki ni ikibazo cy’ingenzi kuko hari byinshi uzahamenyera kuko hari ubwo usanga umugabo adakunda kujyana n’umugore we ahantu henshi mu ruhame rw’abantu. Rero ibi bizagufasha kumenya niba yishimira kuba yagira aho mujyana muri kumwe.

5. Wumva twazabyara abana bangahe ?

Iki ni kimwe mu bibazo by’ingenzi kuko bizagufasha kumenya niba uwo muzabana yifuza kuzabyara abana kandi bizagufasha kumenya niba mu nshingano ze hazaba harimo abana muzabyarana. Bizatuma kandi umenya niba kugira abana benshi biri muri gahunda afite cyangwa niba yifuza kubyara bake.

6. Iyo urakaye ni iki kigufasha kugabanya uburakari ukongera gutuza?

Iki nacyo ni ikibazo kidakunze kubazwa cyane kandi gifite akamaro kanini kuko uba ugomba kumenya icyatuma uwo mubana agaruka mu byishimo igihe yaba yarakaye. Aha ushaka ikintu cyatuma agaruka muri mood igihe ababaye kandi bikazagufasha kumenya uko uzajya umwitwara imbere igihe yarakaye.

7. Ubana ute n’umuryango wawe?

Aha naho ushobora kubaza umukunzi wawe uko abana na mama we ndetse na bashiki be bizagufasha kumenya uko witwara kuri bashiki be ndetse na mama we. Iyo umaze kumva uko babana bituma umenya niba nawe azajya agufata neza cyangwa niba akenshi atazajya akwitaho.

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