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urukundo

Reba ibyo wakorera umukunzi wawe akaba atakwigera arota kuguca inyuma

Muri iyi myaka ingo nyinshi zikunze gusenyuka bitewe n’ubwumvikane buke buri hagati y’abashakanye, burimo guhora mu ntonganya z’urudaca, kuba umwe mu bashakanye yarabase n’ingeso runaka nk’ubusinzi, gucana inyuma n’ibindi{…}.

Kugira ngo ibi byose byirindwe mu muryango, hari ibintu bitandukanye abashakanye bashobora gukora bigatuma umubano wabo uhora ari mushya mu maso yabo.

Hagati aho twabateguriye ibikorwa umugabo ashobora gukorera umugore we, bigatuma umugore amukunda ndetse bigatuma gucana inyuma hagati yabo biba umuziririzo.

1.Igihe uri kumwe n’umugore wawe mufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje mbese umutunguye.

2.Abagabo bakunda kugira akazi kenshi ariko burya umugore akunda umugabo ushakisha byibura iminota mike akajya ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma ukamuhamagara ukamwerekako umutekereza ukanamubwira ijambo “ndagukunda” kandi “ndakwemera.”

3.Gerageza gukorera umugore wawe ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.

4.Ujye ukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe n’umugore wawe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira , gusura abantu n’ibindi bitandukanye.

5.Jya wibuka amatariki umugore wawe afata nk’ingirakamaro mu buzima bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.

6.Jya ufata igihe utemberane n’umugore wawe ndetse mube mwahitamo no kutarara mu rugo mujye ahantu kure y’aho mutuye mufate nka hotel, ubundi ahasigaye mwiyibutse ibyo mwakoraga byose kera mutarabana.

7.Kora ubushakashatsi ku mugore wawe, umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.

8.Mu gihe uri kumwe n’mugore wawe mu rugo musange mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi rero ngo biramushimisha kabone n’iyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.

9.Jya ukunda guha impano umugore wawe akenshi ndetse wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.

10.Igihe cyose uri kumwe n’mugore wawe, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.

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urukundo

Impamvu zituma umugabo adashobora kureka umugore we wa mbere kubera ihabara.

Umugabo uca inyuma umugore we akenshi ntaba yifuza ko yatandukana n’ umugore we wa mbere n’ ubwo aba amuca inyuma akajya gusambana ku ruhande.

Niba wajyaga wibaza impamvu umugabo wubatse asambana n’ abandi bagore ariko agakomeza kubana n’ umugore wa mbere iyi nkuru iraguha ibisubizo.

1.Akunda umugore we

Impamvu yemera gushyingiranwa n’ umugore wa mbere ni uko aba yaramukunze. Kuba agera aho amuca inyuma bishobora guterwa n’ ibibazo bitandukanye ariko ntabwo bisobanuye ko aba yamwanze niyo mpamvu ihabara cyangwa ibiro bya kabiri bitegereza ko areka umugore wa mbere ngo ashyingiranwe naryo rigaheba. Niba uri umukobwa ukaba ukundana n’ umugabo wubatse wizeye ko azareka umugore we mugashyingiranwa urata igihe cyawe kuko ntibikunze kubaho.

2.Abana be

N’ ubwo ingeso imunanira agaca inyuma umugore we wa mbere aba akunda abana be ku buryo atakwemera gutandukana na nyina w’ abana be ngo babeho batari kumwe.

3.Kumva uburyohe bw’ ahandi

Ntabwo umugabo aca inyuma umugore we kuko ashaka gutandukana nawe ahubwo akenshi abikora kugira ngo yumve uko abandi bagore bamera. Ntabwo aba ashaka gukundana n’ uwo mugore wa kabiri.

4.Amahitamo ya kabiri

Umugabo aba asanzwe afite umugore we umuha akabariro hafi yari buri uko abishatse ariko hari ubwo ashaka undi ku ruhande wo kwitabaza igihe umugore wa mbere amugoye akanga ko batera akabariro. Ibi rero ntabwo byatuma areka umugore we wa mbere kuko aba abakeneye bombi. Niyo mpamvu abeshya umugore wa kabiri ko amukunda ariko ntiyemere gusesa amasezerano afitanye n’ uwa mbere.

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urukundo

Amategeko 10 y’urukundo wakwifashisha wowe n’umukunzi wawe mukarushaho kuryoherwa.

Abantu babona urukundo mu buryo butandukanye ariko urukundo ruri mu gice cya muntu kitagaragara bityo rero rukaba rushobora kugaragara mu bikorwa bya muntu gusa. mu rukundo mugomba kuzuzanya, ariko niba umwe mu bakundana asa n’uwudashima imyigoro y’undi, bivuze ko muvuga “indimi zitandukanye ku bijanye n’urukundo.

YEGOB nkuko isanzwe ibikora, yabateguriye amwe mu mategeko twavuga wakwifashisha mu rukundo kugirango wowe n’umukunzi wawe muryoherwe n’urukundo, 10 muri ayo akaba ari aya akurikira:

1. Ntuzahendahendere umuntu kugukunda cyangwa kukwitaho (affection) kuko bigira agaciro iyo nyiri ukubikora bimwiviriye ku mutima.
2. Ntuzabeshye uwo ukunda ngo akunde yishime, ikiruta uzamubwize ukuri ababare.
3. Ntuzarindire ko uwo ukunda akenera ko umufasha, ahubwo uzanamufashe mbere y’uko abikenera
4. Ntuzigere wibagirwa umukunzi wawe mu gihe yaguhaye byinshi utagomba kwibagirwa.
5. Ntuzarutishe amafaranga urukundo, kuko hari ibyo urukundo nyarwo rutanga amafaranga atabasha kugura.
6. Ntuzakunde umuntu ku bw’impuhwe, ahubwo uzamugirire impuhwe ku bw’urukundo!
7. Urajye ucyaha uwo ukunda mwiherereye nimugera mu ruhame umurengere!
8. Urajye ushimishwa n’uko uwo ukunda akundwa n’abandi akabyitwaramo neza, kuko ni ikimenyetso cy’uko yakurutishije benshi.
9. Ntuzagishe inama abandi y’uwo ukwiye gukunda ikiruta uzabagishe inama y’uko ukwiye kumukunda.
10. Ntugahamye ko ushimisha uwo ukunda uko bikwiye ahubwo uzabihamirizwa na nyirubwite.

Si aya gusa kuko buri umwe wese ashobora kwiyongereraho aye bitewe nuko yiyumva, uko afata urukundo, ndetse n’icyo yifuza kuvana muri icyo gikorwa cyo gukunda.

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urukundo

Ngibi ibintu umugabo wese aba yifuza ku mugore we amanwa n’ijoro.

Urukundo ni rwiza ariko hari igihe rugora abarubanyemo barigeze kubaho mu mudendezo, Bakibuka uko babanaga bakimenyana bagasanga mu byukuri rwarashonze,Ntakibaho mu buzima nta mpamvu burya haba harajemo kidobya ivuye ku ruhande uru cyangwa urundi,Nyuma yo kubagezaho ibyo umukobwa wese abayifuza  ku musore mu ibanga rikomeye iyo bari kumwe kugira ngo babashe kubaka urukundo rutajegajega.

Twabazaniye na none ibyo umugabo abayifuza ku mugore kugira ngo babashe gukomeza kubana mu rukundo rufite umuvuduko utagabanuka.

1.koroherezwa

Abagabo tuvunwa bikomeye n’abagore badutererana iyo bigeze ku gikorwa cyo kubaka urugo,Tukamera nk’aho turi twenyine mu gitanda,Burya rero mugore iyo umugabo akweretse ko hari ubushake afite bwo gutera akabariro,Aba agirango witegure by’ukuri koko ahasigaye umwihe wese ntacyo umukinze bityo umworohereze igikorwa muba mwinjiyemo.

Hari abagore benshi ibi byabereye ingora bahizi bumva ko igihe cyo kubaka urugo iyo kigeze icyo basabwa ari ugutanga ibyo basabwe gusa bo bakituriza.

burya kuko ibyishimo mubisangira muri babiri wagakwiye kumufasha kubirema,Wagakwiye kumwinjiza mu gikorwa umubwira utugambo tunogeye amatwi nawe akubwira utundi.

ibi kubivuga ntabwo ari ubujajwa ntanubwo ari ukubura icyo mvuga ahubwi nuko hari ingo zirigushingwa bugacya zatembagaye abantu bakibaza impamvu bikabayobera,Nonese nureka umugabo wawe agakora ibyo akora nk’uri wenyine cyangwa uri kwiba ni gute nabona aho bamufata neza ku buryo bukwiye atazajyayo.

2.kwishimirwa

Birashoboka ko wowe mugore ntacyo udakora ngo wereke  umugabo wawe ko ari we urangamiye gusa,Ibi ukabimwereka wifashishije amagambo umubwira n’ibikorwa bimwe na bimwe umwereka,Ariko nyamara hari icyo udakora wenda bitewe n’umunaniro ubawirirwanye cyangwa n’ibindi biba byakubabaje.Mu kuri uba ugomba kwereka umugabo wawe igihe atashye ko wishimiye kuza kwe kuburyo abona ko uhora uri mushya mu buzima bwe.

Ibi bizatuma ahora ataha yiteze ko ibyaribyo byose aho yerekeje bamwishimiye kandi bigiye kumugabanyiriza umunaniro utagira akagero abayirirwanye.

kabone niyo mwaba mwagize icyo mupfa hari ikintu kimwe mwembi mukwiye kwitwararika cyane cyane wowe mugore,Igihe cyo gutera akabariro mukwiye kuba muri mu bihe bizira umujinya cyangwa umwiryane kuko urebye nabi mukabikora mushihurana ibi bishobora kuba intandaro yo kuguca inyuma y’iki gihe.

Niyo mpamvu Mu bihe byo kubaka urugo mwese mugomba kuba mwumva ibyo murimo kimwe kandi mwese mugaragaza akanyamuneza,Ejo mutazabikora mufite umunabi bugacya ajya kwishakira aho bamuha ibyo yifuza n’inseko imukwiye.

3.kwizerwa.

Abagabo bakunda abagore babereka ko babafitiye icyizere cyuzuye,Kwereka umugabo ko umwizeye ni intwaro ikomeye yo kumwigarurira.

Hari abagore baziko kwereka umugabo ko ufite impungenge y’uko ashobora kubenguka abandi bishobora gutuma umwigarurira bidasubirwaho,uku n’ukwibeshya cyane kuko ntacyo wakora ngo kimwereke ko ariwe gisubizo ku buzima bwawe kirenze kumwizera ukanabimwereka.Ariko niwitoza kujya umubaza uti ko numva uhumura amavuta tutagiraha?,uzaba umusunika umwegeza kure y’umutima wawe kandi kumugarura bizakugora.

4.kumuha ibyishimo byuzuye.

Umugabo abayifuza ibyishimo biturutse mu muryango we cyane cyane ku mugore ,Niyo mpamvu wowe mugore ugomba kumufata neza kuburyo yumva ntahandi yakura ibyishimo birenze ibyo agukesha,Ntakundi wabigenze usibye kwifashisha igihe cyo kubaka urugo ukamwereka ko ntawundi mugore ukurusha ubwiza.

Ibi bizamurinda kujarajara,Hari abagore bavuga ngo abagabo babo ntibanyurwa nyamara hari igihe abayaragushatse anyurwa ahubwo yamara kukuzana ukamunyura ku munsi w’ubukwe gusa indi minsi ukamubera agaterera nzamba.

Iharire umugabo wawe,Iyibagize ibibahangayikishije maze umwereke urukundo rwuzuye mu gihe cyo guteza akabariro.ibi bizaba inkingi ikomeye izarinda urugo rwanyu,ikaruha ubudahemuka bukomeye.

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urukundo

Menya isaha nziza yo gutera akabariro ku bashakanye.

Abantu benshi bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’abo babyumvikanyeho ariko ugasanga batamenya igihe cyiza cyo kwishimisha muri ubwo buryo. Ngaho mu tubari, mu bihuru, mu byumba n’ahandi. Abenshi kandi ntibita ku masaha babikoreraho kuko hari bamwe baba bahujwe n’ifaranga cyangwa se ari ugufatiraho by’akanya gato ubundi buri wese akikomereza gahunda ze.

None, twabakoreye ubushakashatsi bw’igihe cyiza cyo gushimisha imibiri yanyu mu buryo bwo gutera akabariro ku bashakanye.

Aha wakwibaza uti “Ni mu gitondo se? Saa sita se? Ku mugoroba se? Cyangwa ni nijoro? Haba nijoro ho se, twabikora tukigera mu buriri cyangwa byaba byiza dutegereje igicuku? Biranashoboka ko mu rukerere ariho byaryoha, ntawamenya.

Igisubizo ni iki:

1. Kare kare mu museso: Ubushakashatsi bwa doctoroz.com buvuga ko abagabo benshi babyukana umurego/umushyukwe ku buryo benshi bumva uwo ari umwanya mwiza wo gutera akabariro. Aha batanga inama yo gushyiraho reveil/alarm igukangura ku masaha umunyereye gukangukaho maze ubundi ugategura umukunzi wawe; bityo mukaza guhura mwese muhuje ibyiyumviro.

2. Mu kiruhuko cya saa sita: Hari benshi bakunda kujya mu karuhuko ka saa sita cyane iyo bafite akazi kabibemerera. Nyuma y’ifunguro usanga mbe n’abo bakumbura abakunzi babo by’umwihariko rero iyo bahurira kuri iryo funguro. Ubushakashatsi buvuga ko iki nacyo ari igihe cyiza cyo kubonana n’umukunzi wawe.

3. Mu ijoro rituje: Niba ushaka kujya uryohereza umukunzi wawe, jya utegereza amasaha y’ijoro kuko akenshi abantu baba bitandukanyije n’intekerezo z’ibyo baba biriwemo kugira ngo baruhuke. Nta muntu ushobora kwiyumvamo ubushake bw’imibonano, cyane cyane ku bagabo, mu gihe ubwonko bwe bugihugiye mu mirimo akora. Ariko iyo ijoro riguye, nta rusaku rucyumvikana hano na hariya usanga kenshi abakundana batangira gukina kuko nta n’umwe baba bikanga (mbese nta muntu uba akibarogoya). Abana baba basinziye (niba babafite), ndetse ntawuba agikomanga ku muryango wabo.

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urukundo

Abasore gusa: Ibintu by’ingenzi ugomba gukora mbere yo gutera ivi ukambika umukobwa impeta.

Urukundo rutangira buhoro buhoro rukagera kure nk’uko umuhanzi umwe yabiririmbye. Abakundanye urukundo rugera aho rugafata indi ntera maze bakagera n’aho basezerana kubana iteka, gusa mbere y’uko usaba umukobwa ko mubana hari ibintu by’ingenzi ugomba gukora.

Ku basore benshi bumva ko kwampika impeta y’urukundo umukobwa umusaba ko muzabana bihagije cyangwa kumuterera ivi nk’uko ari ko urubyiruko rubivuga. Gusa nubwo kumwambika impeta ari ngombwa hari ibindi ubanza gukora ari byo bikurikira:

1)Banza umenye neza niba nawe abishaka: Uko umusore yifuje gukora ubukwe ntibiba bivuze ko n’umukobwa abishaka n’ubwo mwese mukundana. Ni byiza ko umusore yabanza akamenya niba koko umukobwa nawe abyifuza.

2) Bibwire ababyeyi be: Niba umaze kumenya neza ko umukobwa mukundana nawe yifuza gukora ubukwe, noneho bibwire ababyeyi be ko wifuza gushyingiranywa n’umukobwa wabo maze baguhe umugisha wa kibyeyi.

3) Gisha inama inshuti ye: Mbere y’uko umwambika impeta, banza ubiganirize inshuti ye magara kuko baganira byinshi birimo ibijyanye no kwambikwa impeta, umubaze uko umukunzi wawe ajya abivuga ndetse n’uko yifuza ko byazamera maze nawe uhereho ubitegura.

4) Ubushobozi: Kwambika impeta bijyana n’ubukwe, niba umukobwa amaze kukwemerera ko muzabana nta kindi gikurikiraho uretse ubukwe. Banza ushishoze urebe niba ufite ubushobozi bwo gukora ibyo birori mbere y’uko umuterera ivi.

5) Hitamo itariki nziza uzamwambikiraho impeta: Biba byiza iyo umusore abanje gutekereza itariki nziza yazanogera umukobwa, ashobora guhitamo ku munsi w’amavuko we cyangwa indi tariki umukobwa akunda.

6) Hitamo amagambo meza uzamubwira: Mbere y’uko umwambika impeta y’urukundo hari amagambo ubanza kubwira umukobwa ari nayo ajyana no kumubwira ko wifuza kubana nawe akaramata. Banza wige amagambo anogeye amatwi asize umunyu kandi yuzuye urukundo.

 

Src:www.Herway.com.

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