HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Kuvuga ijambo “ndagukunda” byo ubwabyo ntibihagije dore ko hari umuhanzi waririmbye ati “kubivuga siko kubikora”. ni ijambo ryoroshye kuvuga ariko gukora ibijyanye na ryo bisaba ibirenze kuvuga, bisaba ibikorwa, ubwitange, ubufatanye n’ibindi binyuranye.
Muri iyi nkuru tugiye kurebera hamwe ibyo umukobwa yagenderaho akamenya niba umusore bakundana amukunda by’ukuri.
1.Akubaha bisesuye.
Kubaha umuntu bya nyabyo ni ikintu gifite agaciro mu rukundo. Umusore/umugabo ugukunda bya nyabyo azakubaha uko uri kose, azubaha ibyo ukora, azubaha ibitekerezo byawe, azubaha umuryango wawe, muri buri kimwe cyose kibahuza azagaragaza kukubaha.
2. Atuma umwizera.
Kwizera umuntu si ibintu bikwizanamo ahubwo we ibyo akora, uko akwitwaraho, imigirire ye nibyo bituma umugirira icyizere. Iyo agukunda by’ukuri agendera kure ibikorwa, ibiganiro n’imigirire yatuma utamugirira icyizere. Aho ari, abo bari kumwe, ibyo ari gukora ntashobora kubiguhisha. Ibi bituma nawe umufungurira umutima ntumuhishe ibikurimo, kuko hari ishingiro ufite ryo kumwizera.
3.Akunda byinshi byawe.
Twirinze kuvuga byose byawe, kuko ntiwabura akantu runaka ukora adakunda. Iyo rero agukunda biba bivuze ko agukundana n’ibyawe, agukunda uko uri, kandi n’icyo adakunze ntakiguhisha ahubwo agufasha kubikosora no kubishyira ku murongo.
Iyo rero uwo mukundana yamaze kumenya ibikugira wowe nyawe biba bigaragaza ko ari wowe yitayeho kandi ntiyakwitaho atagukunda.
4. Akugaragariza ibikorwa by’urukundo.
Urukundo si amagambo gusa, kuko byoroshye kubivuga kurenza kubikora. Ahubwo urukundo ni ibikorwa ukorera umuntu udasanzwe kuri wowe, ukamukorera ndetse ibirenze ibyo we yumvaga ko wamukorera.
Ibikorwa by’urukundo azagukorera nyamara si ukukugurira ibihenze, kugusohokana ahahenze, kuguha impano za buri munsi, oya. Ibi kubikora ntacyo bitwaye ariko nanone si byo gusa si nabyo by’ingenzi. Udukorwa duto azagukorera, tukwereka ko ufite umwanya w’imbere mu mutima we.
Kuguhamagara, kukwandikira, kuguha amakuru ye yose, kukwereka amarangamutima ye (yaba ababaye cyangwa yishimye, …) ni ibikorwa bimwe mu bizakwereka ko koko uyu musore/mugabo agukunda by’ukuri.
5. Uri umufasha.
Mwaba mubana cyangwa mutarabana, ugukunda ntagufata nk’umukozi we ngo akubere shobuja cyangwa ngo abe nk’umunyagitugu ahubwo muri byose na hose uba umufasha we.
Umufasha w’umuntu ni wawundi bajya inama mu bintu byose, byaba ibijyanye n’iterambere byaba ibijyanye n’imibanire, byose mufatanya kubijyaho inama no kunguranaho ibitekerezo.
6.Akugira nyambere.
Muri gahunda ze zose agushyira imbere. Mu byo akora, ateganya gukora, muri gahunda ze zose ni wowe ubanza mu ntekerezo. Ntihabanzamo abavandimwe be, ababyeyi be, inshuti ze cyangwa abana ahubwo wowe, umufasha we (wa none cyangwa w’ahazaza) ni wowe uza mbere.
Muri macye gahunda ze zose azipanga akuzirikana, anareba niba zitabangamira urukundo rwanyu cyangwa zitakubangamira wowe.
Ndetse niyo bibayeho ko muri gahunda apanga utaba nyambere haba hari impamvu yumvikana yabiteye kandi yumvikana.
7. Yishimira kubana nawe.
Umusore/gabo ugukunda bya nyabyo iyo muri kumwe uba ubona ko ari cyo kintu kimunezeza cya mbere. Mwaba mukina amakarita, mwaba mutemberana, mwaba muri guhaha mu isoko, mbese aba yumva muri mu isi mwenyine, kuko agaciro aguha gatuma yumva utamuva iruhande.
8. Ntacika intege.
Bamwe iyo agukunda agasanga baguhanganiyeho ari benshi ahita acika intege akabivamo, ariko ugukunda by’ukuri ntatezuka. Niyo yasanga aguhanganiyeho n’abamurusha ubushobozi, amashuri, ntacyo biba bimubwiye, kuko agukunda. Akomeza kukurwanirira, gukora uko ashoboye kose ngo agutsindire.
Ibyakamuciye intege ahubwo we abihinduramo amahirwe yo kukugumana akakwiharira wese.Niba umukuzi wawe yujuje byinshi mu byo tuvuze haruguru nta kabuza aragukunda. Ntuzamuveho ahubwo nawe mugaragarize urukundo nyarwo
