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urukundo

Mukobwa, menya ibintu 10 bizakwereka ko umusore mukundana nta gahunda afite yo gushaka ufate icyemezo.

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Bijya bibaho rero ko umusore akwereka ko agukunda nawe ukamukunda ukamwimariramo wese uzi yuko ari we muzafatanya ubuzima bw’ahazaza nyamara we yibereye mu bindi, muri macye atagufata nk’uwo bazabana akaramata.

Ese uwo musore wamubwirwa n’iki? Iyi nkuru nicyo igiye gukora kuko tugiye kuguha ibimenyetso binyuranye bizakwereka ko umusore mukundana adafite gahunda yo kubana nawe.

1. Ntaguha igisubizo cyahuranyije

Igihe cyose mwaganiraga ugakomoza ku byo kubana ahita ahindura ikiganiro. Niyo abivuzeho aba abiteraho urwenya gusa ku buryo kubona uruhande ahagazeho bigoye. Niyo umubajije usanga akubwira ko hakiri kare, ko mutarakundana bigeze aho mwabana, ko akiri kwiyubaka, ko muzabiganiraho ikindi gihe, ko yumva ananiwe…

2.Iyo ukomeje kubivugaho arivumbura

Yivumbura by’uburakari aho ahita akubaza niba ari wowe uzamurongora cyangwa niba ibisabwa byose ngo mubane uzabizana. Aha abikora byo kwirengera kuko mu mutima aba abizi ko nta gahunda afite ariko akabura imbaraga zo kukureka ngo wigire ahandi, ahari kubera inyungu zindi agufiteho cyangwa kuko adashaka kubaho nta nshuti afite. Kwa kwivumbura bituma uceceka nyine, bikarangirira aho

3.Ntagukunda byeruye.

Aha icyo dushaka kuvuga ni uko iyo muri kumwe akwereka urukundo nyamara mu bantu akakugaragaza nk’inshuti isanzwe. Ntakwereka umuryango we, uwawe nawo uba ubona adashishikajwe no kuwumenya, ndetse no mu birori ni gacye azakwerekana nk’inshuti ye. Muri macye ashaka ibye nawe kubyimenyera gusa.

4. Ahora atazi…

Niyo mwaba mumaranye imyaka mukaba muziranye mu mpande zose nyamara ahora agaragaza ko mutaramenyana kandi ko ataramenya niba koko ari wowe umukwiriye cyangwa ari we ugukwiriye. Mbese ahora mu cyeragati. Gusa si uko atabizi ahubwo ni ukubyihunza, kuko ukuri ni uko nta gahunda yo kubana nawe afite.

5. Arakwiyima

Aha bivuze ko aba adashaka ko umenya ibye byose cyane cyane ibibazo ahura na byo. Ubusanzwe abagabo bazwiho kutavuga buri kimwe muri rusange, ariko iyo bigeze ku muntu bakunze cyane usanga bamufungurira umutima, akakubwira ibye byose, ibiri ngombwa akanarira kuko aba azi ko ari kubwira inkoramutima ye. Niba rero ibye ubimenya ubyumvanye abandi, wa muntu we rwose uri ahatari ahawe.

6.Ntashobora kukugisha impaka

Ubusanzwe ugukunda by’ukuri aba ashaka ikintu cyose mucyumvikaneho ariko buri wese abanze agaragaze uruhande rwe. We rero kuko nta gahunda agufiteho, iyo mutumvikanye ku kintu ijambo rimuvamo ni: “ubwo nyine ubifate uko ushaka” cyangwa ati “ubwo buri wese agumane ibye”.

Si uko ashaka guhosha amakimbirane ahubwo ni uko adashaka ko muganira byimbitse ngo mufatanye gushaka umwanzuro. Ndetse rimwe na rimwe ahita yivumbura akigendera cyangwa akagukangisha gutandukana niba ukomeje kutamwumva

7. Ahazaza hawe ntahitaho

Uzamubwira ko wumva hari ibintu ushaka kwiga, ubone ntacyo bimubwiye. Umubwire ko ushaka gucuruza ati ubwo ufite ayo kwangiza, mbese nta nama yaguha y’icyaguteza imbere. Nyine watera imbere cyangwa utatera imbere ntacyo bimubwiye kuko nta nyungu abifitemo

8.Ahora akwereka igihe azashakira

Muri we hahora imishinga azabanza gutunganya akabona gushaka. Ati nubona nujuje inzu, nubona ku kazi banzamuye mu ntera, nubona naguze imodoka, nubona murumuna wanjye arangije ishuri… mbese ati ibyo nibirangira niho nzashaka. Nyamara ikigutangaza iyo ibyo yaguteze birangiye hahita havuka indi mpamvu, kongera amashuri, kuvugurura inzu, mbese ahorana impamvu zidashira.

9.Ahorana ingero mbi gusa

Iyo muvuze ku kubana ahita akwereka ingero nyinshi z’abari muri gatanya, abahora bashwana, ababayeho nabi, ati bariya bazize guhubukira kubana, twe twitonde haracyari igihe. Nyamara akirengagiza abandi babanye neza yakabaye nabo afatiraho urugero.

10. Nawe wumva udatuje.

Niba uhora wibaza amaherezo yanyu ukayabura, ni ikimenyetso cy’uko nawe wananiwe kumwikuramo nyamara ubizi unabibona neza ko nta gahunda afite. Uhora ubaza, ugisha inama y’icyo wakora, uhora ubaririza niba nta wundi mukobwa bakundana, nawe ukuri urakuzi ahubwo wananiwe gufata umwanzuro

Ni byinshi wagenderaho ukabona ko nta gahunda afite, ibi ni bicye twagukusanyirije. Ni ahawe gufata umwanzuro ukava mu cyeragati, ugatinyuka ukamubaza ushize amanga niba koko afite gahunda cyangwa ari kugutesha umwanya.

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urukundo

Ibintu by’ingenzi abagabo bishimira mu rukundo iyo bikozwe n’abagore babo.

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Ubusanzwe abagabo muri kamere yabo ntibakunda ibintu by’iraha, ndetse ahanini usanga banashimishwa n’utuntu duto cyane, usanga akenshi tunagoye kutumenya, ariko urubuga rwa internet yourtango.com ruvugako hari ibintu 7 byoroheje abagabo bakunda kandi bakanezezwa nabyo.

Dore 7 muri byo ni ibi bikurikira : Kwitabwaho no kugaragarizwa urukundo

Abagabo ngo bishimira kandi bagakunda abagore babitaho bakanabagaragariza urukundo harimo nko kumuha impano zitunguranye kabone n’ubwo yaba ihendutse, kumutegurira ifunguro akunda umutunguye, kumubwira ko akurutira abandi bagabo bose n’ibindi.

Kwerekwa ko gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina nabo ari iby’agaciro.

Gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ni ingenzi ku bakundanye
Burya ngo abagabo benshi bakunda abagore babereka ko bishimiye gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina nabo bakabonako atari ukubihatira abagore babo ahubwo ko nabo baba babakeneye. Birabashimisha cyane kandi bakabikunda kuruta abagore basa n’aho babihatirwa cyangwa se batabyitayeho.

Ukuri

Burya ngo abagabo aho bava bakagera banga umuntu ubabeshya, ahubwo ubakoreye ikosa ugasaba imbabazi ubabarirwa vuba ariko ngo iyo akuvumbuye wamuhishe ukuri niho bishobora kuba bibi mu rukundo cyangwa se no murugo.

Umutuzo

Burya ngo n’iyo baba bajya basahinda ariko bakunda abagore babaha umutuzo , kuko ngo bituma bumva baguwe neza, ntibakunda abagore babajagaraza, babatesha umutwe, ahubwo bifuza ababatwara gahoro.

Gutegurirwa ifunguro rya nijoro

Kuko ngo abagabo baba biriwe mu kazi burya ngo amafunguro ya saa sita ntakintu kinini amara mu kubagarira urukundo, ariko ngo iyo batashye bakitse imirimo baba bashaka ko abagore babo babitaho bakabategurira amafunguro.

Aha rero ngo usanga bayafashe banezerewe kandi bikavuga byinshi mu buzima bwabo kuko ngo aricyo gihe baba babonye cyo gutekereza no kuruhuka bitonze.Ngo iyo umugabo abikorewe biramushimisha cyane.

Kumvwa

Bakunda gutegwa amatwi kuko ngo bibereka ko bahawe agaciro.

Ubukwe

Abagabo bakunda kandi bakishimira gukora ubukwe, gusa ngo bagakunda kugira ikibazo cyo guhitamo uwo bazabana ubuzima bwose kuko batinya guhemukirwa cyangwa se kubaho ubuzima batishimiye nyuma yo kurushinga iyi ngo akaba arinayo mpamvu benshi muri bo usanga biyemeza kurushinga bamaze gukura bifatiye icyemezo batazicuza. Kandi ngo uwabukoze agahirwa mu rugo rwe yishimira kubivuga no kuba muri ubwo buzima.

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urukundo

Ibintu wakorera umukunzi wawe akaba atakwigera arota kuguca inyuma

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Muri iyi myaka ingo nyinshi zikunze gusenyuka bitewe n’ubwumvikane buke buri hagati y’abashakanye, burimo guhora mu ntonganya z’urudaca, kuba umwe mu bashakanye yarabaswe n’ingeso runaka nk’ubusinzi, gucana inyuma n’ibindi{…}.

Kugira ngo ibi byose byirindwe mu muryango, hari ibintu bitandukanye abashakanye bashobora gukora bigatuma umubano wabo uhora ari mushya mu maso yabo.

Hagati aho twabateguriye ibikorwa umugabo ashobora gukorera umugore we, bigatuma umugore amukunda ndetse bigatuma gucana inyuma hagati yabo biba umuziririzo.

1.Igihe uri kumwe n’umugore wawe mufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje mbese umutunguye.

2.Abagabo bakunda kugira akazi kenshi ariko burya umugore akunda umugabo ushakisha byibura iminota mike akajya ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma ukamuhamagara ukamwerekako umutekereza ukanamubwira ijambo “ndagukunda” kandi “ndakwemera.”

3.Gerageza gukorera umugore wawe ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.

4.Ujye ukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe n’umugore wawe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira , gusura abantu n’ibindi bitandukanye.

5.Jya wibuka amatariki umugore wawe afata nk’ingirakamaro mu buzima bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.

6.Jya ufata igihe utemberane n’umugore wawe ndetse mube mwahitamo no kutarara mu rugo mujye ahantu kure y’aho mutuye mufate nka hotel, ubundi ahasigaye mwiyibutse ibyo mwakoraga byose kera mutarabana.

7.Kora ubushakashatsi ku mugore wawe, umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.

8.Mu gihe uri kumwe n’mugore wawe mu rugo musange mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi rero ngo biramushimisha kabone n’iyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.

9.Jya ukunda guha impano umugore wawe akenshi ndetse wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.

10.Igihe cyose uri kumwe n’mugore wawe, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.

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urukundo

Ibintu iby’ingenzi ugomba kwirinda gukora niba ushaka kuryoherwa no gutera akabariro mu buryo busesuye.

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Mu rwego rwo gushimisha no koryoherwa n’icyo gikorwa hari ibintu ukwiye kwirinda, bimwe muri byo:

1.Irinde kunywa inzoga n’itabi:

ugomba kwirinda inzoga n’itabi niba wifuza gukora neza imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko inzoga cg itabi bibuza igitsinagabo gufata umurego kimwe no kugabanya intangangabo mu mubiri. Aho kunywa inzoga, wakwinywera divayi itukura (red wine) nabwo gacye, kuko yo ituma amaraso atembera neza, ariko ibaye nyinshi nayo ituma bitagenda neza.

2.Irinde mu buryo bwose cg ugabanye stress:

ugomba kwirinda cyane stress no gutekereza ibiri hanze y’icyo gikorwa. Stress yangiza ubuzima idasize ubushake bwawe bwo gukora imibonano. Uko stress yiyongera, niko yongera uko umutima utera bityo n’umuvuduko w’amaraso ukiyongera. Ingaruka ziba kubura ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura stress, ni ukubiganira n’umufasha wawe mukareba icyo mwakora, undi muti mwiza wa stress ni sport. Gukora sport bigabanya stress bityo bikongera ubushake bwo kwishimana n’uwo mwashakanye.

3. Irinde kurya ibiryo byinshi:

kurya cyane bitera kugira ubunebwe no kumva usinzira, cyane cyane iyo ibyo wariye birimo ibinyampeke byinshi (umuceri, ibigori, kawunga, makaroni,…). Ushobora ahubwo kwihitiramo imbuto n’amazi ahagije kuko bizagufasha kugira imbaraga.

4.Kwikinisha byo bigendere kure:

cyane cyane ku bagabo kwikinisha cyane igihe kirekire bitera igitsinagabo gutinda gufata umurego. Nubwo hari bamwe bakunda kubikora mbere yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, bagamije kuza gutinda kurangiza nyuma ibi ni bibi cyane, kuko byangiza uburyohe no kwishimana hagati y’abashakanye mu gihe cy’igikorwa.

5.Ugomba kwirinda kunywa ibinyobwa byongera imbaraga (energy drinks):

ushobora kwibwira ko ibi binyobwa byongera imbaraga nyamara sibyo. Birimo isukari igufasha kumva ugize imbaraga igihe gito, ariko birangira wumva warushye cyane, bityo ntube wanashimisha uwo mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina.

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urukundo

Ibimenyetso bizakwereka ko nubwo umukunzi wawe akwishimira mu buriri ariko atagukunda na gato.

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Ukuri kurababaza ariko nanone akariho karavugwa. Ushobora kuba wibwira ko mukundana ndetse mukanaryamana uvuga uti uyu musore/mugabo ni inshuti nyayo ariko we akaba atagukunda na gato.

Burya rero hari ibimenyetso washingiraho muri gukora imibonano na nyuma yo kuyikora ukamenya ko atagukunda na gato, ahubwo yishakiraga kurangiza byonyine. Ni byo iyi nkuru igiye kuvugaho

1. Arikunda

Niba mu gihe muri mu gikorwa atita ku kugutegura ahubwo akihutira guhita yinjiza igitsina cye mu cyawe, icyo areba ni uko we arangiza, wowe ibyawe ntacyo bimubwiye. Niba adashaka ko nawe wishima, aho rwose burya agufata nk’uwo kurangirizaho irari gusa

2. Nyuma y’imibonano yigira mu bye.

Ubundi umuntu ugukunda niyo mumze gukora imibonano akuguma hafi, ntabwo ahita yigira muri telefoni, cyangwa ngo ahite abyuka agenda. Akuba hafi, akaba akuganiriza, akakuguyaguya, mukaruhuka. Gusa nanone ashobora guhita agenda cyangwa guhugira mu bindi ariko ubizi ko ari akazi ari gukora cyangwa ibindi bibafitiye inyungu mwembi. Ariko niba nta byo, icyo yashakaga yakibonye ushaka wanagenda

3. Mu buriri akora uko abyumva ntakora uko ushaka.

Ubusanzwe umugore wese arihariye. Hari ukunda kunyazwa hakabaho ukunda kwinjira imbere, hari ukunda kuryama hakaba ukunda kwicara, n’ibindi. Iyo mukundana aba azi neza ko wihariye bityo mu kubikora mwumvikana uburyo bikorwamo, ubugushimisha n’ubumushimisha. Ntabwo akurambika ngo abikore uko abishaka gusa, aho aba yagufashe muri rusange ntaba yagufashe nk’aho wihariye.

4. Akora bucece

Ubusanzwe umuntu ugukunda ntabwo ahugira mu gikorwa gusa ahubwo ananyuzamo akajya akuvugisha, akubaza uko uri kubyumva, akubwira uburyo umuryohera, uburyo akwishimiye, n’utundi tugambo twiza dutuma urushaho kwishimira igikorwa. Naho niba akwambura atavuga agakora ibyo akora buragi, akarinda arangiza nta no kukubaza uko ubyumva, ndakurahiye nta rukundo rurimo

5.Ntiyita ku mipaka washyizeho

Umugabo ugukunda aha agaciro amagambo nka “Ba uretse”, cyangwa “Tubikore mu kanya”. ariko niba we akomeza kukwereka ko abishaka atitaye ku mpamvu zawe, mu kuri irari rirusha ingufu ibindi kuri we kandi aramutse agukunda yakumva.

Nubwo aguhaza mu buriri ariko mu mutima wumva atarimo
Bamwe twishuka ko gushimishanya mu buriri bihagije ariko burya ntibiba bihagije mu gihe mu marangamutima mutiyumvanamo. Niba mu mibonano ari ho mukenerana ariko twa tugambo twiza ntimutubwirane, nta mutoma muterana, nta na kimwe gikorwa cyerekana ko mukundana. Aguhamagara gusa mu gihe agushaka ko muryamana ariko ntiyaguhamagara ngo akwifurize ibihe byiza, akubaze uko waramutse…

6.Nta mpinduka

Umuntu mukundana ntibigarukira mu kuryamana gusa ahubwo hazamo iterambere mu mubano. Kabone niyo mwaba mudateganya kubana ariko urukundo ruriyongera rugakura, mbese ukamenya byinshi bye, akamenya byinshi byawe, akakwereka inshuti nawe ukazimwereka, …

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urukundo

Akamaro ko gutereta umuntu utuye kure yawe.

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Abenshi bashobora gutekereza ko gukundana n’umuntu uri kure nta byiza byabyo ariko urubuga elcrema rugaragaza ibyiza byo gukundana n’umuntu ukuri kure ku buryo mubonana buri wese yifuza undi.

1. Ntabwo umuburira akanya

Iyo uziko umuntu mukundana aba kure, ukora uko ushoboye ukamuha agaciro , uko akazi kaba kameze kose ntiwabura umwanya wo kumuvugisha.

2. Byongera icyizere

Icyizere ni ikintu cy’ingenzi hagati y’abakundana kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rurambe, iyo uziko umuntu aba kure yawe bigufasha gukuza icyizere.Iyo rero uri kure y’uwo ukunda biba bigusaba kugabanya kumukeka ahubwo ukamwizera

3. Umenya ko urukundo rudashingiye ku kuryamana gusa

Icyiza cyo gukundana n’umuntu uri kure yawe nuko umenya gutandukanya urukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Muri iri iyi minsi bamwe mu bakundana bumva ko urukundo rushingiye ku kuryamana, nyamara ikiba gihangayikishije ku bantu bakundana bari kure si uburyo umwe ataryamana n’undi ahubwo ni uburyo amarangamutima yabo atuma bahora bameze nk’aho bari kumwe.

4. Ubona umwanya wo kwiteza imbere

Umuntu ufite umukunzi kure ye usanga atera imbere abyigejejeho nta kwishingikiriza ku mukunzi we, abasha kandi kwigenga nta gendere buri gihe ku bitekerezo by’uwo bakundana.

Hari nubwo biguha umwanya wo gukora ibyo ukunda utari kubonera umwanya iyo muza kuba muhorana n’inshuti yawe, nko guteka n’utundi turimo tugushimisha.

5. Bituma ushyiramo imbaraga

Iyo inshuti yawe iri kure bituma urushaho gukora cyane kugira ngo nimunabonana uzabe ukimubereye utaramuhararutswe.

Ntabwo utakaza umwanya mupfa utuntu tw’ubusabusa, niyo muhuye buri wese aba afite ibyo kuganira no kunguranaho ibitekerezo.

6. Kuganira biba byiza

Kugira ngo urukundo rwa kure rurambe kuganira no guhanahana amakuru bigomba kwitabwaho kuko niyo nzira iba ishoboka kugira ngo mukomeze kurambana.

Usanga abantu bakundana bari kure, buri munsi baba bafite uburyo bavuganamo, bahanahanamo amakuru bakarushaho kwishimana.

7. Uhinduka umwizerwa

Uba umwizerwa iyo uri kure y’uwo mukundana, ntabwo wifata uko ubonye kuko uba uvuga uti nubwo hari abandi nshobora kuba nakundana nabo ariko abimenye yavuga ko mbitewe nuko ari kure.

Icyo gihe uritwararika kandi bituma uhinduka umwizerwa kuri we kuko niyo yabaza abandi asanga utarahindutse.

8. Iyo mwabonanye murishimana kakahava

Iyo bibaye ngombwa abakundana umwe aba kure y’undi bagahura barishimana, bakaganira ,bagaseka , nta kanya kabo gapfa ubusa.

Umwanya wose bawubyaza umusaruro bakishimira ubuzima kandi ntihabeho guhararukanwa.

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