HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Bijya bibaho rero ko umusore akwereka ko agukunda nawe ukamukunda ukamwimariramo wese uzi yuko ari we muzafatanya ubuzima bw’ahazaza nyamara we yibereye mu bindi, muri macye atagufata nk’uwo bazabana akaramata.
Ese uwo musore wamubwirwa n’iki? Iyi nkuru nicyo igiye gukora kuko tugiye kuguha ibimenyetso binyuranye bizakwereka ko umusore mukundana adafite gahunda yo kubana nawe.
1. Ntaguha igisubizo cyahuranyije
Igihe cyose mwaganiraga ugakomoza ku byo kubana ahita ahindura ikiganiro. Niyo abivuzeho aba abiteraho urwenya gusa ku buryo kubona uruhande ahagazeho bigoye. Niyo umubajije usanga akubwira ko hakiri kare, ko mutarakundana bigeze aho mwabana, ko akiri kwiyubaka, ko muzabiganiraho ikindi gihe, ko yumva ananiwe…
2.Iyo ukomeje kubivugaho arivumbura
Yivumbura by’uburakari aho ahita akubaza niba ari wowe uzamurongora cyangwa niba ibisabwa byose ngo mubane uzabizana. Aha abikora byo kwirengera kuko mu mutima aba abizi ko nta gahunda afite ariko akabura imbaraga zo kukureka ngo wigire ahandi, ahari kubera inyungu zindi agufiteho cyangwa kuko adashaka kubaho nta nshuti afite. Kwa kwivumbura bituma uceceka nyine, bikarangirira aho
3.Ntagukunda byeruye.
Aha icyo dushaka kuvuga ni uko iyo muri kumwe akwereka urukundo nyamara mu bantu akakugaragaza nk’inshuti isanzwe. Ntakwereka umuryango we, uwawe nawo uba ubona adashishikajwe no kuwumenya, ndetse no mu birori ni gacye azakwerekana nk’inshuti ye. Muri macye ashaka ibye nawe kubyimenyera gusa.
4. Ahora atazi…
Niyo mwaba mumaranye imyaka mukaba muziranye mu mpande zose nyamara ahora agaragaza ko mutaramenyana kandi ko ataramenya niba koko ari wowe umukwiriye cyangwa ari we ugukwiriye. Mbese ahora mu cyeragati. Gusa si uko atabizi ahubwo ni ukubyihunza, kuko ukuri ni uko nta gahunda yo kubana nawe afite.
5. Arakwiyima
Aha bivuze ko aba adashaka ko umenya ibye byose cyane cyane ibibazo ahura na byo. Ubusanzwe abagabo bazwiho kutavuga buri kimwe muri rusange, ariko iyo bigeze ku muntu bakunze cyane usanga bamufungurira umutima, akakubwira ibye byose, ibiri ngombwa akanarira kuko aba azi ko ari kubwira inkoramutima ye. Niba rero ibye ubimenya ubyumvanye abandi, wa muntu we rwose uri ahatari ahawe.
6.Ntashobora kukugisha impaka
Ubusanzwe ugukunda by’ukuri aba ashaka ikintu cyose mucyumvikaneho ariko buri wese abanze agaragaze uruhande rwe. We rero kuko nta gahunda agufiteho, iyo mutumvikanye ku kintu ijambo rimuvamo ni: “ubwo nyine ubifate uko ushaka” cyangwa ati “ubwo buri wese agumane ibye”.
Si uko ashaka guhosha amakimbirane ahubwo ni uko adashaka ko muganira byimbitse ngo mufatanye gushaka umwanzuro. Ndetse rimwe na rimwe ahita yivumbura akigendera cyangwa akagukangisha gutandukana niba ukomeje kutamwumva
7. Ahazaza hawe ntahitaho
Uzamubwira ko wumva hari ibintu ushaka kwiga, ubone ntacyo bimubwiye. Umubwire ko ushaka gucuruza ati ubwo ufite ayo kwangiza, mbese nta nama yaguha y’icyaguteza imbere. Nyine watera imbere cyangwa utatera imbere ntacyo bimubwiye kuko nta nyungu abifitemo
8.Ahora akwereka igihe azashakira
Muri we hahora imishinga azabanza gutunganya akabona gushaka. Ati nubona nujuje inzu, nubona ku kazi banzamuye mu ntera, nubona naguze imodoka, nubona murumuna wanjye arangije ishuri… mbese ati ibyo nibirangira niho nzashaka. Nyamara ikigutangaza iyo ibyo yaguteze birangiye hahita havuka indi mpamvu, kongera amashuri, kuvugurura inzu, mbese ahorana impamvu zidashira.
9.Ahorana ingero mbi gusa
Iyo muvuze ku kubana ahita akwereka ingero nyinshi z’abari muri gatanya, abahora bashwana, ababayeho nabi, ati bariya bazize guhubukira kubana, twe twitonde haracyari igihe. Nyamara akirengagiza abandi babanye neza yakabaye nabo afatiraho urugero.
10. Nawe wumva udatuje.
Niba uhora wibaza amaherezo yanyu ukayabura, ni ikimenyetso cy’uko nawe wananiwe kumwikuramo nyamara ubizi unabibona neza ko nta gahunda afite. Uhora ubaza, ugisha inama y’icyo wakora, uhora ubaririza niba nta wundi mukobwa bakundana, nawe ukuri urakuzi ahubwo wananiwe gufata umwanzuro
Ni byinshi wagenderaho ukabona ko nta gahunda afite, ibi ni bicye twagukusanyirije. Ni ahawe gufata umwanzuro ukava mu cyeragati, ugatinyuka ukamubaza ushize amanga niba koko afite gahunda cyangwa ari kugutesha umwanya.
