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urukundo

Dore ibintu bikomeye wakorera umukunzi wawe mukaryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina mwembi.

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Burya imibonano mpuzabitsina iryoha iteguwe, ubyange ubyemere. Ntabwo uwo mwashakanye cyangwa uwo mukundana ari umuntu muhuye kubera inyungu, ni we bitagombera kwitegura mukora icyabazinduye mukigendera. Ariko igihe cyose uha agaciro uwo mugiye gukorana imibonano ntabwo ari ukugarama cyangwa kugarika ngo mutangire yagapfe yagapfe timbaguri timbaguri, oya.

Ni byiza gutegura imibonano ku mpande zombi kugirango murusheho kuryoherwa mwembi binabasigire urwibutso n’akanyamuneza.

Hano twagerageje kugukusanyiriza ibyo ukwiye kwibandaho mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina kugirango wishimane n’umukunzi wawe.

Ahari wowe urumva wifuza ko muza kubikora, ariko se urabizi ko na we abishaka? Banza rero umutegure mu mutwe. Wakoresha uburyo bukubangukiye nko kumwandikira amagambo atuma atekereza ku mibonano, kumwibutsa ko ubikumbuye cyangwa utabiheruka, n’ibindi binyuranye bituma yumva ko uwo munsi hashobora kuba akantu. Nta mpamvu yo kumutinya erega.

2. Fata umwanya uhagije wo kwiyambura

Wamuteguye mu mutwe, none ubu muri kumwe, muri hafi kwinjira mu gikorwa. Wihita ukuramo imyenda yose nk’usiganwa. Imibonano iramutse ari isiganwa yaba malathon ntabwo yaba metero 100. bivuze ko bisaba gutwara buhoro kugirango uze gusoza neza. Banza umukuremo ishati cyangwa umupira, urindira gato (ubwo muri gusomana no kuganira), ubone gukuramo isengeri/sutiye.

Manuka ukuremo ipantalo/ijipo, witonze, nyuma ubone kuba wakuramo ikariso. Si byiza kwikuriramo, biryoha iyo umwe akuriyemo undi. Ibi niyo byatwara iminota 20, nta kosa ririmo, nta kikwirukansa. Uko buri gice ucyambura gitindeho ugikorakora cyangwa ugisomagura.

3.Mubyinishe.

Ibi si ihame ariko niba muzi kubyina, utarakuramo imyenda yo hasi imbere, muhagurutse mubyine akaziki muri kumva. Rwose mubyine neza nk’abamansuzi wa mugani, ku buryo imibiri irushaho gukoranaho, no kwegerana. Ibi bizamura ibyiyumviro.

4. Ibuka isuku

Ku mugore ni byiza kuba wambaye ikariso ifuze kandi iri bumukurure cyane cyane ku ibara ryayo n’imiterere yayo (ni byiza ko uba uzi ibyo umugabo akunda). kuri mwembi, kuba mwiyuhagiye, mwogoshe insya, ni ingenzi. Bituma murushaho kumva mwifuzanya

5.Mukore ka massage koroheje.

Massage ni ingenzi mu gutegurana cyane cyane ibirenge aho ubanza kubyoza n’utuzi dushyushye ukabona kubisiga amavuta yoroshye ukabikandakanda. Amano uyibandeho kuko azamura ibyiyumviro cyane. Aha birushaho kuba byiza iyo ari umugabo ubikoreye umugore. Si ihame ko mwembi mubikorerana.

6.Mubaze ibyo akunda.

Bwaba ari ubwa mbere cyangwa musanganywe, ni byiza kumubaza ibyo akunda. Ashobora kuba hari position imuryohera kurenza izindi, uyu mwanya ni wo mwiza wo kubimubaza.

7.Bitware buhoro.

Kubyihutisha nkuko twabivuze si byiza. Urugero gusomana ugahita usimbukira ku gitsina ugikoraho cyangwa ugisoma, uba wihuse. Bitware buhoro kandi ni byiza guhera hejuru umanuka.

8.Itondere igitsina.

Ku mugabo wikumva ko uri bufate imboro gusa ngo wibagirwe amabya kuko waba wibagiwe ingenzi. Gusa ntuyakande ahubwo uyakorakore buhoro buhoro, nayo uyikinishe udakanyaga cyangwa udakoresha ingufu. Ku mugore na ho ni uko wisimbukira mu gushyira intoki imbere mu gituba, banza inyuma, use n’ubyiringira, bitume ububobere bwiyongera, kandi urutoki cyangwa intoki kuzinjiza si ngombwa, ahubwo shimashima rugongo buhoro kandi ntuhatinde, ahubwo unyuzemo uruhuke, uze kongera nyuma yaho buhoro nanone, gutyo gutyo.

9.Ibande ku bice byose.

Wikumva ko igitsina gusa ari cyo gituma agira ubushake. Ijosi, amatwi, mu ntege, amabere ku mugore, mu ntantu, ni hamwe mu hantu handi wakorakora cyangwa ukahasoma ubushake muri we bukarushaho kuzamuka

10.Itondere amagambo ukoresha.

Abanyarwanda ntibabihishe bavuze ko “Ijambo ribi rikura imboro mu gituba”. Mu gutegurana ibuka ko wabihaye umwanya, wirinde amagambo ashobora gusesereza, gukomeretsa cyangwa kurakaza uwo muri kumwe. Si igihe cyo kumwibutsa amakosa ye cyangwa se kumwibutsa amadeni mufite, …. Ikindi kandi icyihutirwa si amagambo ni ibikorwa.

11. Kurikirana impinduka ze.

Uko umuntu agenda ashyukwa arushaho kugaragaza impinduka haba mu mivugire, imihumekere, indoro, n’ibikorwa. Ibyo byiteho uzamenya igihe nyacyo cyo kwinjira mu gikorwa nyirizina.

12. Wikibagirwa kumusoma.

Nubwo hari abazakubwira ko badakunda gusomana ariko kwitegura neza bibanzirizwa no gusomana. Niba umwe muri mwe atabikunda muganire ku mpamvu zibitera, ni bwo muzamenya neza icyo gukora. Ashobora kuba acyemanga isuku yawe mu kanwa, kuba se hari uwamusomye nabi akabihirwa akabyanga, …Aha niba mutabimenyereye mushobora gusangira bombo, umwe ayitamika undi, uko ayiguhaye igakurikirwa n’ururimi, birafasha.

Ibi niba wabikoze neza, igikorwa gisigaye kizagenda neza kandi kizabashimisha mwembi murusheho kuryoherwa no kunezerwa.

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urukundo

Ibintu ukwiye kugendera kure mu gihe ushaka kurushinga.

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Iyo uri mu rukundo, hari byinshi uhindura mu myitwarire yawe kugirango urusheho kugenda wigarurira umukunzi wawe ariko uko urukundo rwanyu rugenda rukura niko mugenda murushaho kumenyerana buri umwe akagenda amenya ingeso undi afite ari nako mugenda mufashanya kuba mwahindura zimwe muri izo ngeso zishobora kuba zitajyanye n’ibyo mwifuza.

Nk’uko abahanga mu by’imibanire babivuga, ngo iyo wegereje igihe cyo gusezerana n’uwo ukunda hari ibintu byinshi ugomba kureka mbere y’uko murushinga kuko bishobora kwica umubano wanyu.

1. Ugomba kwirinda icyatuma ugwa mu mutego wo gusambana.

Buri gihe ugomba guhora wibuka ko uri hafi gusezerana, ibi bikagufasha kwirinda kuba wahura n’umuntu mudahuje igitsina muri ahantu h’ibanga kuko bishobora kuba byakugusha mu busambanyi ugatangira guca inyuma uwo mukundana kandi mutarabana. Rero ugomba kubireka ahubwo ukarushaho guha umwanya uwo mugiye kurushinga.

2. Reka gutekereza ko uri umuyobozi igihe uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe.

Iyo uri hafi kurushinga haba hakiri itandukaniro no kuba wararangije kubana n’uwo ukunda. Wigerageza gutegeka umukunzi wawe ngo ukomeze kumugaragariza ko nta kintu yafataho umwanzuro igihe muri kumwe. Ibi si byiza kuko bimuca intege akumva ko ari umunyantege nke. Gerageza ugaragaze ko muri ku rugero rumwe mu byo mukora byose.

3. Reka kumva amabwire.

Iyi ni inama ikomeye ugirwa kuko akenshi haba hari benshi batifuza ko wabana n’umukunzi wawe. Ugomba rero gushyiramo ugushishoza kuko haba inshuti zawe, ndetse n’abandi benshi bazajya bakugira inama ariko siko bose bazaba bakwifuriza ibyiza. Menya gufata imyanzuro ku byo wemera ndetse n’ibyo uhakana.

4. Reka kumena amabanga y’urukundo rwawe.

Buri gihe hagomba kuba hari amabanga hagati yanyu ajyanye n’urukundo. Igihe uri hafi gusezerana rero irinde kuba wagenda ubwira inshuti zawe ibyo uba waganiriye n’umukunzi wawe. Akenshi uzasanga abantu bifuza kumenya ibyanyu ariko si ngombwa ko ubibabwiraho.

5. Irinde icyagabanya igipimo urukundo rwanyu ruriho.

Ntabwo ari byiza kwiyumvisha ko kuba mwaramaze kwemeranya kubana bihagije, ngo maze ugende witurize kuko ibingibi byatuma urukundo rwanyu rusubira inyuma bikaba byakurizaho no kuba rwazima burundu. Inama ugirwa ahangaha ni ukurushaho gukunda no kwita ku wo mugiye kurushinga kuko aribyo bizatuma mubana mu munezero.

6. Gendera kure ibitekerezo byo gukeka cyane.

Gushaka gukekera umuntu ni kimwe mu bintu byakwangiza umubano wanyu. Gira umuco wo kubaza uwo mugiye kubana kuri buri kintu wumva urimo gushidikanyaho, umubaze wimenyere ukuri bitabaye ngombwa ko utangira kwihimbira ukeka ibishobora kuba bihabanye n’ukuri.

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urukundo

Uburyo 4 bwagufasha gucika kungeso yo guca inyuma umukunzi wawe

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Guca inyuma umukunzi wawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye si ibintu byiza mu mubano, akenshi bigira ingaruka mu rukundo no muryango zishobora no gutuma umwe mu bagize urugo yihimura akaba yasiga urugo cyangwa se aho birengeje akaba yakwiyambura ubuzima.

Bishobora kukubaho utabigambiriye, aho iki kibazo gishobora kubonerwa umuti ubuzima bugasubira ku murong, ariko bikaba ibindi iyo hjemo ingeso, ugasanga ubikora asa n’uwabaswe n’iyo ngeso itari nziza na mba mu mubano w’abakundana n’abashakanye.

Ni gute rero watera umugongo icyo kibazo ngo ubashe kugira umubano mwiza n’uwo mukundana? hano kuri Ibazenawe, twabateguriye uburyo 4 bwafasha gucika ku ngeso yo gucana inyuma haba ku mukobwa/umusore cyangwa se ku bashakanye.

1. Sobanukirwa neza ko ufite ikibazo.

Gusobanukirwa neza, iyo wamaze kumenya neza kandi ugafata ingeso yo gucana inyuma ari ingeso mbi kandi ari ikibazo mu rukundo rwawe, kibangamira iterambere ry’umubano, ni intambwe ya mbere yo kubasha gutsinda iki kigeragezo cyakubase. Tangira gusenya imyumvire ipfuye mu mutwe wawe, imyumvire ikuganisha kuri icyo kibi, maze utangire kumva ko atari ikibazo gikwiye kukunesha, wumve ko udakwiye kubisubira na rimwe.

2. Shaka umukunzi wiyumvamo mu mpande zose.

Ukwiye gushaka umukunzi ugukurura mu buryo bwose, bwaba ubw’imitekerereze ye, uburanga, n’uko agaragara inyuma ku buryo uzajya ubona nta wundi muntu wamuruta mu isi yose , mbese hitamo wa wundi wishimira kurenza abandi bose.

3. Umva ko nta mwiza wabuze inenge.

Ntabwo wabona umuntu uri mwiza imbere n’inyuma, mu bintu byose 100%, uburanga n’ubwenge. ibuka ko turi abantu kandi kandi nta muntu ubura inenge n’imwe. Niba ufite umukunzi mwiza, wibuke ko ashobora kugenda mu nzira agasitara, bikaba byaba ngombwa ko yivuza akagira inkovu yangiza uburanga bwe. kandi nawe ubwawe wibuke ko utaremye mu buryo utagira inenge n’imwe, umuntu ni nk’undi.

4. Saba ubujyanama.

Niba warabaswe n’ingeso yo guca inyuma umukunzi wawe, ukaba ubona utabasha kubireke ngo bigushobokere egera abazi cyane ibyerekeye umubano babigize umwuga bagufashe.

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urukundo

Aya niyo mategeko 10 agenga urukundo

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Abantu babona urukundo mu buryo butandukanye ariko urukundo ruri mu gice cya muntu kitagaragara bityo rero rukaba rushobora kugaragara mu bikorwa bya muntu gusa. mu rukundo mugomba kuzuzanya, ariko niba umwe mu bakundana asa n’uwudashima imyigoro y’undi, bivuze ko muvuga “indimi zitandukanye ku bijanye n’urukundo.

Ibazenawe nkuko rimwe na rimwe isanzwe ibikora, yabateguriye amwe mu mategeko twavuga wakwifashisha mu rukundo kugirango rurusheho kuryohera abarurimo, 10 muri ayo akaba ari aya akurikira:

1. Ntuzahendahendere umuntu kugukunda cyangwa kukwitaho (affection) kuko bigira agaciro iyo nyiri ukubikora bimwiviriye ku mutima.

2. Ntuzabeshye uwo ukunda ngo akunde yishime, ikiruta uzamubwize ukuri ababare.

3. Ntuzarindire ko uwo ukunda akenera ko umufasha, ahubwo uzanamufashe mbere y’uko abikenera

4. Ntuzigere wibagirwa umukunzi wawe mu gihe yaguhaye byinshi utagomba kwibagirwa.

5. Ntuzarutishe amafaranga urukundo, kuko hari ibyo urukundo nyarwo rutanga amafaranga atabasha kugura.

6. Ntuzakunde umuntu ku bw’impuhwe, ahubwo uzamugirire impuhwe ku bw’urukundo!

7. Urajye ucyaha uwo ukunda mwiherereye nimugera mu ruhame umurengere!

8. Urajye ushimishwa n’uko uwo ukunda akundwa n’abandi akabyitwaramo neza, kuko ni ikimenyetso cy’uko yakurutishije benshi.

9. Ntuzagishe inama abandi y’uwo ukwiye gukunda ikiruta uzabagishe inama y’uko ukwiye kumukunda.

10. Ntugahamye ko ushimisha uwo ukunda uko bikwiye ahubwo uzabihamirizwa na nyirubwite.

Si aya gusa kuko buri umwe wese ashobora kwiyongereraho aye bitewe nuko yiyumva, uko afata urukundo, ndetse n’icyo yifuza kuvana muri icyo gikorwa cyo gukunda.

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urukundo

Mukobwa, nubona umugabo ufite iyi myitwarire ntuzatume aguca mu myanya y’intoki

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.

Nk’uko bigaragara mu mafilime no mu nkuru z’urukundo, urukundo rwaduteye kwizera ko umugabo ukunda umugore we by’ukuri agomba kumuha indabyo n’imitako, agakora ibintu bisa n’ubusazi ariko iyo ukuri kutugezeho, akenshi twibwira ko bishoboka ko tutazabona urukundo nyarwo.

Nyamara Urukundo nyarwo kandi ruvuye ku mutima rurahari, muri iyi nkuru twabateguriye imico umukobwa akwiye kubona ku musore, akaba atareka ngo umucike kuko yazavamo umugabo umukunda by’ukuri.

1. Akoresha ijambo”twebwe”: Niba umugabo wawe akoresha insimburazina “twebwe” aho gukoresha “Njyewe” iyo avuga imigambi ye, ejo hazaza he, cyangwa imishinga ye, bivuze ko ibyo ateganya kugeraho byose nawe urimo kubera ko ntacyo yifuza kuzageraho mutari kumwe niyo mpamvu abikumenyesha.

2. Aragutetesha: Niba agufata nk’ikiremwa cy’Imana, agakora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo agushimishe, kandi agushyira imbere muri byose, menya neza ko wahuye n’umugabo mwiza.

3. Aguhora hafi iteka: Yego si buri gihe ariko iyo hagize akantu gato kaguhungabanya afata umwanya wo kugira ngo umubone nk’intwari yawe, uyu mwanya rero ntukawumwime kuko bimuha amahirwe yo kumva ko akurinze.

4. Agira indoro yihariye iyo akubonye: Burya indoro yoroshye ivuga byose, witondere uko akureba kuko urukundo ruba mu jisho.

5. Uri umwizerwa we: Ni wowe wa mbere ahamagara mu gihe afite amakuru yo kuvuga, mu gihe yumva amerewe nabi, cyangwa mu gihe ashaka kuvuga. Wowe soko ye ya mbere (cyangwa yonyine) ihumure, inshuti ye magara, ubusitani bwe bw’ibanga… uko byagenda kose, amagambo yawe azamufasha kuruta undi wese.

6.Abandi bantu bazakubwira ubwiza bwe: Niba ugishidikanya ku bunyangamugayo bwa mugenzi wawe, baza inshuti n’umuryango. Umuryango wawe n’inshuti bazabyemeza. Niba bamukunze ndetse bagahora bakwibutsa ko wagize neza kumugumisha iruhande rwawe iteka. Ntukemere ko umugabo umeze utyo aguca mu myanya y’intoki. Izere m umutima wawe kandi witegure kubona urukundo rukomeye

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urukundo

Menya akamaro Filime z’ubusambanyi zifite ku bashakanye

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Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko 46% by’abagabo na 31% by’abagore baba bareba filimi za porono buri cyumweru.  Abantu benshi bakunze kwirinda kuvuga ku byiyumviro byabo ku byerekeye filimi z’urukozasoni, gusa abahanga bamaze gutangaza ko izi filime buri wese akwiye kumva ko ntacyo zitwaye bitewe n’uburyo zarebwemo ku mpande zombi.

Dr.Jessica O’Reilly, umuhanga mu by’imibanire y’abantu ukomoka muri Canada, mu kiganiro Sex with Dr.Jess podacast akorera kuri televiziyo imwe muri icyo gihugu kivuga ku by’imibanire n’imyororkere, yavuze ko porono zishobora no kuba inyungu ku bazireba bitewe n’uburo yazirebyemo. Ati «Muri make zishobora no kubera inyungu k’uwazirebye bitewe n’uburyo zakoreshejwemo.»

yongeyeho ati «Hari imvugo twizera ngo kureba porono nbishobora guteza ibyago ku wazirebye. Ariko ikintu kiza ni ukubikorera ubushakashatsi bw’ukuri, iyo ubukoze usanga porono zidateza ibyago nkuko twe abantu dusanzwe tubyizera.»

Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu myaka yashize bwari bwagaragaje ko kureba filime z’urukozasoni bitera abakundana gutandukana n’izindi ngaruka. Gusa, ibyo bitandukanye n’ibyatangajwe n’abahanga ubwo babazwaga ibijyanye na porono. Aba bavuze ko ubwo bushakashatsi bwari ubw’ibinyoma ko nta kuri kuri mu byabuvuyemo.

D.r Jessica yatangaje ko ibintu by’ibihuha bibaho ko umuntu ureba filime za porono ahora ashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse ko zishobora kuba intandaro y’itandukana ry’abashakanye, ko ibyo byose ari ibihuha ntaho bihuriye n’ukuri kandi ko ibya porono biterwa n’uburyo uwazirebye yitwaye ubwo yazirebaga ku nshuro ye ya mbere.

Mu bushakashatsi buherutse gukorwa muri kaminuza ya Muchigan (Michigan State University) yo muri Amerika, bwagaragaje ko filimi za porono zirangwa n’ubushobozi bwo kuzamura cyane ubushake bw’imubonano mpuzabitsina cyane cyane ku bagore barenze umwe iyo bazirebye bari kumwe. Gusa ubushakashatsi buvuga ko ukuri kwa byose guterwa n’impamvu ureba porono yahisemo kuzireba.

Ubushakashatsi buvuga ko filimi za porono zishobora kuba ikibazo mu gihe umwe mu bashakanye azirebye ari wenyine atari kumwe na mugenzi we. Iyo porono zakoreshejwe n’umwe, ndetse agatangira kuzirutisha’urukundo, igihe’ n’ibindi bimuhuza n’uwo bashakanye, ko bishobora kuba ikibazo. Ariko iyo abakundana bazirebanye bombi nta ngaruka na nkeya zo kureba izo filime.

Dr.Jessica yagize ati «Abantu bakunze kuvuga ko bamaze kubatwa na filimi za porono, ariko ukuriu ni ; niba koko porono ziba ikibazo ku mubano w’uwo mwashakanye, ikibazo si porono ahubwo niba wumva ari zo zigomba kuza imbere, hashobora kuba hari ikindi kibazo kiri mu mubano kibitera ariko kitari filimi za porono.»

Dr. Jessica akomeza avuga ko ku bijyanye no gucana inyuma, filimi za porono sizo ntandaro yo gucana inyuma, ahubwo biba ari ikibazo iyo uwo mwashakanye ashaka imibonano iyo abanje kureba izo filimi. «Kureba filimi za porono ukumva ko ugomba gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nkuko abazikina bayikora, byaba ari ikibazo kuko ariya mashusho ntabwo aba ari ay’ukuri. Iyo tugerageje kubikora nkuko babikora mu mashusho duhita tugwa hasi.»

Abajijwe inama yagira abantu ku kibazo kijyanye na porono Dr. Jessica O’Reilly yagize ati «Koresha filimi za porono nkuko bikwiye nk’izikwigisha uko imibonano ikorwa, kandi ube inyangamugayo n’umwizerwa imbere y’uwo mwashakanye. Bitari ibyo ntabwo wifitemo ubushobozi bwo kuzireba mu gihe ziguhindura ikindi kintu. Nk’uko zigaragaza ukwisanzura no kwidagadurana n’uwo mwashakanye mu mashusho yazo, abantu basobanukiwe bo bungukira byinshi mu kuzireba bijyanye n’imibanire myiza ku bashakanye.»

Tubibutse ko filimi z’urukozasoni pornography, bitemewe kuzireba uri munsi y’imyaka 18 kuko bishobora kukwangiriza intumbero n’ikerekezo cyawe cy’ejo hazaza, bitewe no kwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ushobora kwanduriramo agakoko gatera SIDA.

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