Ntabwo ari bibi kuvuga ko abagore bakunda cyane abagabo n’ubwo habaho amahitamo atandukanye, umugore ashobora gukururwa na kamere y’umugabo gusa, atitaye ku kuntu asa neza cyangwa atameze neza gusa hari imbaraga zitagaragara zigena ibipimo byo guhitamo kwacu.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na kaminuza ya Huazhong yo mu Bushinwa bugaragaza ko imico yerekanwe ifasha kumenya uburanga bwo mu maso, Ibintu byitwa “ingaruka za halo” aho ihame ari uko imico iranga umuntu igaragarira mu maso. Aha rero hari imiterere imwe n’imwe y’abagabo ikururira abagore cyane kubakunda bakabimariramo.

1.Umugabo ukunda gusetsa cyane:

Urwenya rushobora kuba imbaraga zireshya, ku bazi kurukoresha neza mu buryo butagaragara, burya gusetsa ni umutungo wo kureshya udahabwa buri wese. Ntabwo bitangaje kuba abanyarwenya bazwi cyane bakundwa n’abagore beza cyane. Umugabo ukunda gusetsa aba intandaro y’ikigereranyo, abagore bamwe bashobora kwirukira.

2.Umugabo uzi gukunda akabishyira mu bikorwa:

Wa mugabo uhora azanira utuntu umukunzi we, indabyo nziza, igihe cyose uri romantique, ni byo abagore baba bashaka, bashimishwa no kuba imbere y’umugabo uzi gukundwakaza, ufite ubwuzu no kubitaho cyane.

3.Umugabo w’umwizerwa:

Abagore benshi batinya guhemukirwa n’abagabo ariko umugabo w’umwizerwa nta mugore utamukunda ndetse nta n’ibanga umugore yamuhisha uko ryaba rimeze kose bene uyu mugabo akundwa n’abagore by’indengakamere.

4. Umugabo w’intwari:

Abagore barwanira gukundwa n’umugabo w’intwari ufite ibikorwa by’indashyikirwa yagezeho, ku buryo umugore wamenye ko umugabo runaka ari umunyabwenge, ari intwari ndetse ko hari aho yabashije kugera kubera ibikorwa bye, akora uko ashoboye kose uwo mugabo akamukunda.

Gusomana hari ababikora byo kwikiza kuko babisabwe hari n’abandi babikora kuko babikunda. Hari n’abatarabikora na rimwe kuko wenda batabikunda cyangwa se igihe kitaragera. Waba ubikunda cyangwa utabikunda, gusomana ni igikorwa kigira ingaruka ku bwonko haba mbere yuko gikorwa, mu gihe kiri gukorwa na nyuma yuko gikorwa.

Twibukeko ubwonko aribwo buyobora imikorere yose y’umubiri ndetse n’imvubura zikora imisemburo zimwe ziri ku bwonko izindi ziyoborwa na za zindi ziri ku bwonko. Gusomana nk’igikorwa gihurirwaho n’imisemburo inyuranye rero nta gushibikanya ko bigira ingaruka ku mikorere y’ubwonko nkuko muri iyi nkuru tugiye kubirebera hamwe.

1.Irekurwa rya noradrenarine

Uyu ni umwe mu misemburo izwi nk’umusemburo wa stress. Ubusanzwe uyu musemburo urekurwa gusa igihe hari ikintu kibaye kidutunguye ari nawo utuma urira cyangwa ugira ikiniga iyo uhawe impano, utuma umutima uteragura iyo wikanze, cyangwa ubasha gusimbuka igare rigiye kugwa. Iyo rero ushaka kugusoma atangiye kukwiyegereza uyu musemburo uhita uba mwinshi mu bwonko mu rwego rwo kugufasha kwitegura no kujya mu gikorwa neza.

2.Umwuka wa oxygen uriyongera

Abahanga mu gusomana bavuga ko umenya umuntu ugusoma bimurimo bitewe nuko umutima we uri gutera n’uko ari guhumeka. Iyo uri gusomana bikurimo bituma imiyoboro yawe y’amaraso yaguka bityo bigatuma umwuka wa oxygen ujya mu bwonko wiyongera. Twibutse ko ubwonko aricyo gice cy’umubiri n’ubusanzwe gikoresha oxygen nyinshi dore ko ari nacyo gikoresha ingufu nyinshi.

3.Igipimo cya oxytocin kirazamuka

Uyu musemburo ukunze kwitwa umusemburo w’urukundo ni umwe mu misemburo irekurwa igihe umubiri wishimye cyane cyane ariko iyo bifitanye isano n’imibonano cyangwa se yo ubwayo. Uyu musemburo ubwinshi bwawo butuma umugore abyara vuba kandi ukamurinda kuribwa n’ibise igihe cyo kubyara. Oxytocin uretse kwitwa gutyo, inatuma ugira akanyamuneza akaba ariwo utuma nyuma yo gusomana n’uwo wishimiye wumva muri wowe ibyishimo byagusagutse.

4.Dopamine irisuka.

Kuko uba uhugiye mu gikorwa cyo gusomana ntiwakabaye wumva uburyohe bwabyo cyangwa ngo bikunezeze. Ubwonko bugufasha kumva uwo munyenga butuma harekurwa dopamine ku bwinshi uyu ukaba umusemburo w’umunezero nkuko bawubatiza. Uyu musemburo ukaba utuma ibyiyumviro ndetse n’ibimenyetso by’amarangamutima.

5.Bigutegurira imibonano.

Ujya wibaza impamvu akenshi gusomana bikurikirwa no gukora imibonano?
Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko uko usomana mu bubobere bwo mu kanwa n’amacandwe hiyongeramo imisemburo igenga imyororokere nuko mugasa n’abagenda bayigurana uko musomana bityo ubwonko bukitegura ko ari igihe cyo kororoka bikarangira mugannye mu buriri!

6. Bituma utwarwa.

Nkuko hari ababa imbata z’ibiyobyabwenge niko hari n’abatwarwa no gusomana ndetse kuri we bikaba bishobora no kuba byamurutira imibonano mpuzabitsina. Uzasanga hari abavuga ngo aho gukora imibonano atasomanye ahubwo yasomana ntayikore. Impamvu ni uko bimwongerera ibyishimo n’umunezero kandi akaba abinezererwamo.

Nubwo gusomana tubonye icyo bikora ku bwonko twibukeko akenshi biganisha ku gukora imibonano. Bityo rero menya aho ubikorera, igihe ubikoramo n’uwo mubikorana.Nanone isuku ni ingenzi mu gutuma gusomana bigenda neza niyo mpamvu ushobora gusanga warabaye mudasomwa kubera impumuro ituruka mu kanwa kawe.

1. Gufuha cyane : Byabaye akarande mu Bantu ndetse benshi babigize imvugo ngo umuntu afuhira uwo akunda. Gusa burya niba uziko ujya ufuha ukarenza urugero menya neza ko urimo wiyicira ubuzima kuko burya biragora cyane kuba wakumva ko uzafata umuntu ukamukuramo kamere yifitemo yo guheheta cyangwa gukunda benshi. Rero niba utikuyemo umuco wo gufuha cyane birashoboka ko bizakuviramo no kuba watekereza guhemuka ndetse bikazagukurikirana ubuzima bwawe bwose.

2. Gukoresha amafaranga menshi : Akenshi usanga hari abahungu bakunze gukora amakosa ndetse bakumvako uko umukobwa azabona ko ufite ibintu byinshi ariho azahera agukunda kandi kurundi ruhande ntibibuke ko hari ubwo ibyo byiza wamenyereje uwo mukobwa bishobora gushira ndetse ugasanga na rwa rukundo waguraga urarubuze uwo mwaruguraga akajya kurugurisha ahandi hari amafaranga.

3. Gufata umukunzi wawe nk’ikigirwamana : aha ho ni kumpande zombie. Kuba ukunda umuntu ntibivuze ko agomba kuza mbere y’akazi mwahuriyemo cyangwa kagutunga ubuzima bwawe bwa buri munsi kimwe n’uko umukunzi wawe ataruta za nshuti mwamenyanye kandi nazo zikuba hafi ubuzima bwawe bwose. Rero wikumva ko uzajya umuhamagara buri segonda ngaho message za buri kanya mbese hahandi usanga nawe nta gahenge ujya umuha ngo yiyiteho cyangwa avugane n’izindi nshuti ze. Ibi ni ibintu bishobora kuzatuma abona ko ari ukumuhozaho ijisho boitume akwinuba aho kugirango urukundo ruwiyongere ahubwo ruragabanuka. Sibyiza rero ko wajya ufata umukunzi wawe ngo umubuze amahoro cyangwa we ayakubuze wenda wamwandikiye akanga nko kugusubiza.

4. Kumuha igitsina cyane : Akenshi usanga hari abakobwa bishuka ngo wenda umuhungu nujya ukomeza kumwambarira ubusa nibwo azagukunda cyane. Ni byiza pe nange simbihakanya kuko ni kimwe mu bigaragaza ko ukunda umuntu kandi umwiyumvamo ndetse ukumva ko ubuzima bwanyu bwahuye ndetse bwabaye bumwe. Ariko kurundi ruhande usanga nk’abahungu bakunze guhita bakeka byinshi cyane iyo umukobwa akunda kubambarira ubusa bamwe bahita bakeka ko uko ubigenza kuri bo ariko no kubandi bigenda.

5. Kubigira intambara : burya sibyiza ngo niba ukunze umuntu umwereke ko ariwe ubuzima bwawe bushingiyeho kuko nawe agera aho akabona ko uteri umuntu uhamye ndetse akanagira ubwoba bw’ahazaza igihe muzaba muri kumwe cyane ko aba akeka ko uzajya udatuma yisanzura uko abyifuza. Rero ibi bishobora gutuma nawe akugerageza cyangwa akajya gushaka undi muntu utazajya umugora kabone n’ubwo aba abona ko umukunda cyane ariko sibyiza kurengera.

Hari ibintu by’ingenzi abakundana bitegura no kuzarushinga baba bagomba kubanza gufata umwanya wo kubitekerezaho no kubikora bikabafasha gutegura ubukwe neza,ndetse bakaba banitegurira kuzagira ibizabafasha mu rugo rushya.

Kumenyana kw’imiryango

Nyuma yuko abakundana bamenyanye neza ndetse bakamara no kwiyumvanamo ko umwe azabana n’undi akaramata,baba bagomba no kujya mu miryango yombi bakamenyana umwe akamenya umuryango w’undi,bamwe bakamenya umukazana abandi bakamenya umukwe wabo.

Gutegura ubukwe neza

Ubukwe bugomba kuba bwaratekerejweho igihe gihagije kandi buri kintu kikaba giteguye,ibizakenerwa n’abazabafasha,byose bikaba biri ku murongo nta guhubuka kuko kiba ari igihe kimwe kiba kitazagaruka mu buzima bwanyu mwembi.

Gutekereza kuri ejo hazaza

Mugomba kujya kubana mwaramaze gutekereza no gutegura neza ubuzima bwa nyuma y’ubukwe mu mishinga mufite mugategenyiriza na nyuma y’ubukwe kugira ngo mutazabaho nabi mwarahereye mu iraha ryo gukora ubukwe bwiza.

Kubitsanya amabanga no kubwizanya ukuri

Iyo mwamaze kwizerana kandi mugiye no kubana ntacyo guhisha uwo mugiye kubana na kimwe kiba kigihari ahubwo murabwirana ndetse haba hari ikibazo kibaye ukamubwira mugafatanya kugikemura,nta guhishanya ngo umwe yumve ko hari ibyo atabwira undi.Kubwirana amabanga byongera ubwizerane hagati yanyu,ibi biba bizanabafasha no mu mibanire yanyu mu rugo.

Kwiga kwikemurira ibibazo

Mugomba kwitoza hakiri kare kwikemurira ibibazo hagati yanyu bitabaye ngombwa ko mugira abandi mubinyuzaho kuko biba ari ibyanyu.Ibi bizabafasha no mu rugo kugira ikibazo mukagishakira umuti mwebwe ubwanyu mutishyize hanze.

Kuba hafi y’undi

Iyo abakundana bitegura kubana bakunda kuba bari kumwe cyangwa kuvugana kenshi bituma umwe amenyera imico y’undi akamenya icyo yanga n’icyo akunda kuburyo muzajya kubana muziranye neza.

Gushaka inshuti nyinshi

Mugomba kandi kongera inshuti ku zo mwari musanganwe mukasishaka mbere y’uko igihe cy’ubukwe kigera,kugira ngo muzabone ababashyikira mu bukwe ndetse na nyuma yabwo urugo rwanyu ruzabe rugendwa.