HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Akenshi usanga abantu babana nk’umugore n’umugabo cyangwa umusore n’umukobwa bari mu rukundo hari imirongo ngenderwaho biha cyangwa amwe mu mahame bagenderaho kugirango urukundo rwabo rugende neza.
iyo hatabayeho ubwumvikane rero usanga umuriro uhora waka mu ngo cyangwa abakundana bagahora bashwana.
Hano hari urutonde rw’ibintu 8 abashakashatsi basanze atari byiza ko umugore abibwira uwo bashakanye cyangwa umukobwa abibwira umusore bakundana nubwo baba batarabanje kubiganiraho.
1.Kubwira umugabo wawe iby’abandi bantu bfite imbaraga
Bitewe nuko umugabo mu rugo rwe cyangwa umusore aba yumva ko ari umuntu ukomeye imbere y’umukunzi we, si byiza ko uwo bakundana amuganiriza ku bandi bantu yabonye cyangwa bigeze kubana bafite imbaraga kuko ngo bishobora gutuma uyu mugabo yifata nk’aho nta mbaraga afite (yumva ko asuzuguritse).
2.Kubwira umukunzi we ko amusumba mu burebure
Mu miterere y’umugabo, aba yumva ko akomeye mu bintu byose bimukikije kandi agaharanira ishema rye n’igitinyiro.
kuba rero umugore cyangwa umukobwa yabwira uwo bakundana ko amusumba, umugabo ngo yumva ko ari nk’igisebo bityo ngo bikaba atari byiza ko umugore cyangwa umkobwa abimubwira nubwo byaba ari impamo.
3.Kumwumvisha ko arwanyw n’igikoko runaka atakinesha
Ibi ngo bituma umugabo yiyumva ko nta cyo ashoboye kandi yararemanywe ububasha. Ngo si byiza rero ko umugore cyangwa umukobwa abwira uwo bakundana ko atashobora ikintu runaka kuko ahita yumva nta n’ikindi yabasha.
4. Icyampa amaguru nk’ayawe
ibi na byo abagabo n’abasore ngo ntibabikunda kuko bahita bumva ko bafite amaguru nk’ay’abakobwa bityo bakumva bitabanyuze na gato. Abantu b’igitsinagabo rero ngo bumva banyuzwe n’uko bari ariko bakababazwa cyane n’uwashaka kubapfobya cyane cyane mu bijyanye n’urukundo.
5. Uri nka musaza wanjye cyangwa umuvandimwe wanjye
Ubu bushakashatsi bwerekana ko abagore benshi cyangwa abakobwa bakunze kugwa mu ikosa nk’iryo babigira imikino ariko burya ngo si byiza kuko umugabo cyangwa aba ashaka urukundo ku wundi muntu utari mwene wabo.
Ibi rero ngo bituma umuntu yongera gusubira mu masano ndetse ngo akaba yajya ahora no ku rwikekwe mu rukundo rwanyu iyo ubimubwiye kenshi.
6.Kwita umukunzi wawe Sugar Dady
Kugereranya umukunzi wawe na bariya bantu bashuka abana cyangwa abandi bantu ngo bakorane imibonano mpuzabitsina kubera indnke (sugar dady, mummy) , ngo bisa no gukomeretsa ubwonko nubwo ushobora kubivuga wikinira bitewe n’ibyo umukunzi wawe aguha cyangwa akandi kamaro agufitiye.
ibi rero ngo si byiza kuko bishobora no gutuma umukunzi wawe ahagarika impano yakugeneraga bitewe n’ibyo wamubwiye cyangwa wamuvuzeho.
7.Kubwira umukunzi wawe ko afite igitsina gitandukanye n’iby’abandi
Hari abantu bizihirwa bakavuga ibitavugitse kubera ibyishimo cyangwa amarangamutima batewe n’abakunzi babo.
Ibi rero ngo si byiza kuko bishobora gutuma umukunzi wawe yibaza niba hari abandi bafite igitsina gitandikanye n’icye n’aho yababonye.
Ibi byo ngo si byoza na gato kuko ngo bishobora no guhita biteza intonganya mu gihe umugabo cyangwa umusore atabasha kwihangana.
8. Abagabo cyangwa abasore ntibakunda ko abakunzi babo babagereranya n’abandi babonye
Umugabo aho ava akagera ngo aba yumva ko yihagije. Nkuko byagaragaye mu ngingo zavuzwe hejuru, ngo si byiza ko umugore cyangwa umukobwa anenga imikorere y’umugabo we amugereranya n’abandi ahubwo ikiruta ko yamugira inama bari bonyine.
