HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Muri iyi nkuru turarebera hamwe ibimenyetso 7 bikugaragariza ko umubano wanyu uri mu bihe bikomeye biwuganisha mu marembera igihe ntacyaba gikozwe nkuko byatangajwe n’inzobere mu mibanire y’abashakanye ndetse akaba n’umujyanama ku mibanire: Alice de Lara ufite n’urubuga Conseil Conjugal.
1.Ntabwo ukigira ubushake bwo gukorana na we imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Alice de Lara atangaza ko iyo umwe mu bashakanye atakigira ubushake bwo kubonana na mugenzi we cyaba kimwe mu bimenyetso bigaragaza ko umubano udahagaze neza. Iyo bimeze gutya mugenzi we utaragize izi mpinduka ntabwo ashimishwa n’uburyo uwo bashakanye atagiha umwanya icyo gikorwa bityo bikavamo uburakari ku ruhande rwe. Ahita atangira kwiyumva nkaho yatawe ndetse atagihabwa agaciro nuwo bashakanye ari nabyo bituma umubano utangira kuzamba.
2.Usigaye ukora ibintu byinshi uri wenyine kurusha uko mwabikorana.
Hagati y’abashakanye, ni byiza ko bahana umwanya , haba mu gusohoka no kwitabira ibirori runaka buri umwe ari wenyine cyangwa ari kumwe n’inshuti ze. Ariko iyo ibyo bikorwa bisimbuye burundu uko wabikoranaga n’uwo mwashakanye , haba harimo ikibazo.Alice de Lara atangaza ko umwe iyo akunda kwisohokana bituma abona ubwigenge burenze urugero butuma yubaka umubano n’abo hanze kurusha uko yubaka umubano n’uwo bashakanye.
3. Hari undi usigaye utekereza
Iyo igikorwa cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina kibaye nk’igikendera cyangwa umwe mu bashakanye atakigira ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibitekerezo byo guca inyuma mugenzi we bigenda birushaho kwiyongera.
Alice de Lara avuga ko impamvu byiyongera ari uko wenda aho umwe muribo akorera haba hari umwe mubo baba bakorana baganira bashobora kuba bahuje ikibazo. Alice de Lara atangaza ko iyo bimeze gutya bitavuga iteka ko umubano ugeze mu marembera ariko , ahamya neza ko biba bishyira ahaga uwo mubano.
4.Usigaye ubona ingeso mbi ze gusa
Kera ntabwo wajyaga wita cyane ku ngeso ze mbi (défauts) kuko wahaga cyane agaciro ibyo yakoraga byiza. Muri iyi minsi, ntukibona ibyiza ahubwo ubona ibibi bye gusa. Ibi nibyo bituma uhorana umunabi no kurushaho kumva utakimukunze. Alice de Lara atangaza ko iyo ari uko bimeze, ibyishimo mu muryango bigenda bikendera.
5.Nta mushinga mugifatanya
Uko imyaka yose abashakanye baba bamaranye yaba ingana, gutera imbere no kurushaho kugirana imibanire myiza hagati yabo bituruka ku mishinga runaka baba bafite yaba iyo guteza imbere urugo cyangwa se ibikorwa bibahuza cyane. Alice de Lara avuga ko ibikorwa byose bihuza abashakanye bizamura umubano no kurushaho kwibonanamo.
Niba nta kintu kikibahuza ngo mugifatanye, mujye inama, mwungurane ibitekerezo binyuranye cyangwa se ngo mupange aho mugomba gusohokera mwembi, ni ikibazo gikomeye mu mubano wanyu kuko buri umwe asigaye arushaho kuba nyamwigendaho.
6.Musigaye mushwana inshuro nyinshi
Baca umugani mu Kinyarwanda ngo ‘Ntazibana zidakomanya amahembe’ ndetse iyo abashakanye bagize icyo batumvikanaho, bibafasha kwisubiramo , bakamenya ibyo bagomba gukosora no kwitwararika .
Iyo abashakanye babana ntakintu na kimwe bagiranaho ikibazo, bigera umunsi umwe bigashwanyuka kuko buri wese aba yarabayeho arenzaho ku bibazo aho kubivuga ngo abiganireho n’uwo bashakanye. Ariko nanone iyo abashakanye bahora bashwana buri munsi, bigaragaza ko hari ikibazo gikomeye batigeze bakemura. Guhora mushwana nabyo ni ikibazo gikomeye ku mibanire yanyu.
7.Usigaye wumva atanagukoraho
Iyo umwe amaze kumva atagishaka guhuza urugwiro na mugenzi we, kumuhurwa bigenda byiyongera. Iyo bigeze aho uwo mwashakanye wumva no kugukoraho uba wumva bikubangamiye, biba bishyira gutandukanya uburiri, umwe akajya arara mu ruganiriro cyangwa akimura icyumba akabikora nko guhunga mugenzi we.
