HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Bimenyerewe ko abagabo ari bo batangiza ibyo gukora imibonano haba mu bashakanye ndetse n’abandi baba bakeneye kuyikora. Abagabo kandi iyo agushakaho imibonano hari inkuru twakoze yerekana ibimenyetso binyuranye bizabikwereka, mwaba mukundana cyangwa mudakundana.
Aha rero wakibaza uti” ubundi umugore we ushaka ko muryamana, yaba ari uwawe cyangwa uwo mutarabana mukimenyana, abigaragaza mu buhe buryo? Hano tubanze twibutse ko abagore batandukanye kandi ntabwo babyerekana mu buryo bumwe dore ko benshi niyo yaba abishaka byo gupfa akomeza kukwereka ko bitakurimo kugera wibwirije. Gusa reka hano turebe bimwe mu byagucira amarenga ko burya na we ari kwifuza ko mwakora/mwazakora imibonano.
1. Udusoni no kwirya.
Niyo yaba ari umugore ukuze, mu gihe mu biganiro aho mwicaye muganira yumva yifuza ko mwakora imibonano azatangira kugira amasonisoni, imivugire ye ihinduke. Atangire gukorakora imisatsi ye, niba afite akantu mu ntoki akomeze akine na ko, niba yambaye umukufi mu ijosi cyangwa isaha ajye afunga afungura, ubone yabuze uko yifata mbese. Ibi ntabikora ku bwende bwe, birikora. Ndetse ubona n’indoro ye yahindutse.
2. Uko muvugana agenda agusatira
Kugusatira gusa ariko ntibihagije kuko ashobora kukwegera agirango wumve neza cyangwa se muganire mudasakuza. Ariko niba ubona agenda akwiryamishaho, agufataho, akwikubitisha udushyi cyangwa udupfunsi uko uvuze, kandi yajya kugusubiza agakoresha amagambo wumva ameze neza, harimo akantu.
3. Agukoraho byihariye
Nubundi mu biganiro bisanzwe si igitangaza ko uwo muganira yagukoraho cyangwa akagukubita agashyi. Ariko we iyo abikoze, abikora mu buryo intoki ze zimera nk’izikunyereraho, ntabwo azatinya kugukora mu gituza, mu bwanwa se, nakwegamaho azabikora mu buryo buryoshye ku buryo bukorohera kumukorakora cyane cyane ku mabere cyangwa ibibero. Niba akuryamyeho ashobora kukwegamishaho urutugu cyangwa akakuryama ku bibero, agaramye. Kandi mu kukwegamaho, ashobora guhita agukorakora nko ku matama, mu mugongo se, …
4. Agushimagiza buri kanya no mu tuntu duto
Abagore bamwe birinda kugaragaza akamenyetso na kamwe katuma umubonaho ko ashaka imibonano ahubwo we akaba yahitamo gukoresha amagambo yo kugushimagiza no kukurata
Niba muri kuganira ukabona aranyuzamo akagushima akurata ko wambaye neza, ugira isuku, ufite intoki nziza, uri umuhanga, ugukunda yatomboye, … azaba na we akwereka ko hari uko yakwishimiye kandi akwifuza.Gusa ni ahawe kuba wafata iya mbere mukagira icyo mwigezaho niba uburyo mubanyemo bubikwemerera.
5.Ibishegu
Nubwo hari abagore bikundira kuvuga ibishegu kandi nta kindi bagamije ariko umugore ushaka ko muryamana we azabivuga mu mvugo ishotorana ku buryo mu mubiri wawe abyutsa irari ryawe ugasigara umwifuza. Kenshi mu biganiro kuri terefoni, kuri chat se cyangwa muri gusangira ukabona uburyo ari gutamira umuneke hari icyo bwerekana, cyangwa se ugasanga igihe cyose muganiriye ntimwasoza hatajemo kuganisha ku mibonano kandi ari we ubitangije aho usanga akubaza position ukunda, umuntu wakuryoheye cyane uko yari ameze, umugore ugushimisha mu buriri uko aba yitwaye, ibintu nk’ibyo.
