HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Mugihe ugiye gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe, umugabo/fiancé (e), si ibintu byoroshye na mba.Hari abatandukana babihubukiye, nyuma bakifuza kuba bakongera kubana cyangwa gukundana n’abo bashwanye, ugasanga ntibibashobokeye cyangwa bakabigeraho bibagoye cyane.
Gerageza kubaza umukunzi wawe ibi bibazo mbere yo gutandukana:
–Ese nagerageje ibishoboka byose ngo twe gutandukana?
Mwagiranye ibihe byiza kenshi kandi igihe kirekire, none ubu, ntakinyikoza. Ahora ambwira ko akazi kabaye kenshi, hakaba nubwo muhamagara ntanyitabe. Ntabwo tukigirana ibihe byiza nka mbere. Mfashe umwanzuro, ngiye gutandukana na we nta nteguza. Oya ! banza ugerageze uko ushoboye, umenye impamvu aguha niba ari ukuri, ndetse unegere inkoramutima zawe zikugire inama. Mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo gutandunana na we, banza ugerageze ibishoboka byose nibinanirana ube ari bwo ufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana.
– Ese dufitanye imishinga yo mu gihe kizaza, dufite icyerekezo kimwe muri gahunda ziri imbere ?
Reba niba mufite imishinga imwe mu gihe kizaza. Tuzabyarana abana bangahe ? dufite kuzakora iki n’iki mu bihe biri imbere…Niba ubona mudafite icyerekezo kimwe, cyangwa hari ibintu byinshi mutumva kimwe kandi atava ku izima. Aho ushobora kurekana na we niba wumva udashobora kugendera ku murongo aguha cyangwa uwo wowe umuha, cyangwa se ngo mubashe kugirana ibiganiro kugira ngo mwumve ikiri ukuri muzakora cyangwa muzakurikiza mu buzima bwanyu buri imbere.
– Ese nidutandukana nibwo nzagira ibihe n’ubuzima bwiza kuruta turi kumwe?
Reba niba uko mubanye byibuze ari sawa ahubwo yenda akaba ari wowe udashobotse. Ushobora kurebera ku bandi bagenzi bawe nubwo mu rukundo buri wese akunda ukwe. Ariko gereranya urebe niba nimurekana ari bwo bizakugendekera neza kurushaho.
– Ese simfashe icyemezo mpubutse cyangwa imburagihe?
Reba neza niba icyemezo ufashe utagihubukiye. Reba niba waragerageje bihagije. Reba niba mu nama inkoramutima zawe zakugiriye waragerageje kuzikurikiza bikanga. Fata umwanya uhagije n’igihe gihagije cyo kubitekerezaho.
– Ese mu by’ukuri kuba ngiye gutandukana na we ndi mu kuri cyangwa ni jye munyamafuti?
Zirikana yuko niba ari wowe munyamafuti, n’undi muzahura uzongera ugongane na we. Ese kuba tugiye gutandukana aho nticyaba ari ikibazo gishingiye ku bijyanye no gutera akabariro gusa? Aho uzaba uyobye cyane. Gerageza gushaka ubundi buryo mwakemura ikibazo ubundi ibintu bigaruke mu buryo.
– Ese niba ari we umpemukira njyewe nshobora kubyihanganira, kumubabarira no kumukosora tudatandukanye?
Ashobora kuba akubeshya, aguca inyuma, muri make wumva akugambanira rwose. Niba wumva udashobora kubyihanganira, udashobora kumubabarira, kandi na we akaba atabivaho. Ushobora gufata umwanzuro rwose mugatandukana mu gihe ari wo muti usigaye wonyine.
-Ese umuryango wange turabyumva kimwe?
Mu kinyarwanda baravuga ngo umutwe umwe wifasha gusara ntiwifasha gutekereza. Banza urebe niba abo mu muryango wawe ba hafi babyumva kimwe nawe. Urugero, nka mama wawe, mwene nyoko wibonamo…ariko nanone ukabigiramo ubwenge kuko ushobora gusanga abo bakurusha cyangwa bamurusha amafuti.
– Ese si jye nyirabayazana?
Ni ngombwa rwose kwisuzuma ukongera ukisuzuma ukareba neza niba atari wowe uteza amahane. Mbese ko atari wowe nyiri amafuti no kutabana neza. Ubundi rero nuvumbura ko ari wowe nyirabayazana, wikosore, nusanga atari wowe…
– Ese ubundi nzabasha kumureka neza neza?
Abenshi bafata bene uyu mwanzuro, ariko ejo bagatangira kwirirwa barira cyangwa bagata umutwe bumva bashaka gusubirana na bo batandukanye. Mbese bakumva batabaho batabana na bo batandukanye. Ni ngombwa rero kureba niba ufite imbaraga zo gufata icyemezo ukanagishyira mu bikorwa.
