Nyirasusuruka Mariam
Nk’umukobwa nkanjye, mu minsi ishize naganiriye n’umukobwa, nuko ambwira ukuntu yahamagaye umukunzi we bakaganira ariko icyo kiganira kikarangira umukunzi we amukatiye, amwanze burundu.
Nyuma yo kumva muri macye ikiganiro bagiranye, mu rwego rwo kumuha impamvu zishoboka zatumye ashobora gufata icyo cyemezo cyo kumwanga, nagerageje gukusanya zimwe mu mpamvu 10 zaba zarabaye intandaro y’irangira ry’urukundo rwabo, ari nazo nahisemo kubasangiza hano.
Nibyiza kumenya impamvu zatuma umusore ashobora gukatira umukobwa bakundanaga, zaba nyinshi ariko hano gerageza kumva neza ko uko byagenda kose no 5, 8 na 9 ntizaburamo.
1. Ntabwo ari wowe wenyine ahanze ijisho
Icya mbere ugomba kumenya nuko atari wowe wenyine umusore ahanze ijisho, ashobora kuba afite undi muntu akunda cyane nubwo aba yaraguhisemo akagukomeza ku mpamvu ze. Mubihe nkibi, azahora agerageza gukora ibishoboka byose kugirango akomezanye nawe.
Ariko mu buryo butunguranye, ashobora kugarukira wa wundi wundi ahora ahanze ijisho, niba ubyumva, uri amahitamo ya 2, kandi niba amahitamo ya 1 yongeye kuboneka, ntazazuyaza azahita agukatira, cyane cyane iyo hari ikintu, niyo cyaba gito gute, atakwishimiraho.
2. Arahuze cyane
Arahuze, n’ibintu bishoboka, ariko wowe ntubyumve. Bishoboka ko akazi ke (niba agafite) kamutwara umwanya munini. Ibi ntibisobanura neza ko afite undi mukobwa ariko abasore bamwe ntibazi guhangana nigitutu cy’akazi ngo babifatanye no kwita ku mukunzi ngo baganire, kumuhamagara, muri macye kuganira n’umukunzi kenshi.
Ibi bishobora kubaho kenshi, kandi iyo bisobanuwe ukabyihanganira ni byiza, urukundo rurakomeza kandi rukanakura, bitabaye ibyo, aragukatira.
3. Akeneye ubufasha bwawe
Muri icyo gihe arimo kunyura mu kintu tuvuge kitamworoheye, ariko, nyamara, niba umusore akunda umukobwa byimazeyo, ntazigera ashidikanya kukimuganirizaho. Nizera ko umubano ufitanye isano no kubwizanya ukuri. Niba umukunzi wawe yumva adafite umutekano iruhande rwawe – hari umuriro kumusozi – Birashoboka ko ashobora atakwiyumvamo cyane mu rukundo, agahitamo kwihisha munsi yumutaka wa “Sinshaka kugutesha umwanya cyangwa kukubabaza”, niba ushobora kumwisangaho no gutuma yashobora kuvuga ku kibazo afite, uaho uba uri mu rugendo rwiza mu rukundo rwanyu.
4. Waramubabaje.
Ugomba buri gihe gusubiramo intambwe zawe mugihe muheruka kuba muri mu mwuka mwiza nuko byari byifashe, kandi ukamenya gusaba imbabazi ku bibi byose waba uzi ko umukorera. Ariko niba ibi bihora bimeze gutya, ibi biganisha ku mpamvu ya 5.
5. Ntagukunda
Birashoboka ko yaba ari wowe wagaragaje ko utamwifuza, ariko niba ari Oya, bivuze ko ntagukunda. Na none kandi, hari aho usanga umusore akundana n’umukobwa kugirango yishimishe gusa, cyangwa mushimishanye ariko nta rukundo, bibaho ahanini, hari bamwe mu bakobwa babyemera, nubwo urukundo nyarwo rwashobora kuzamo kuri umwe nyuma.
Muri iki gihe, umusore ntazikuramo umukobwa byoroshye -nubwo urukundo rutariho – abasore bamwe bifuza kubyungukiramo gusa nyuma byahinduka bakarya umunwa.
6. Ntushobotse
Birashoboka ko ushobora kuba udashobotse kwihanganirwa, uhora mu rujijo kandi ntuzi icyo ushaka. Igihe kimwe ushobora kuba ushaka kuvugana nawe gusa, kuganira nawe cyangwa se gukina nawe, ikindi gihe ugahindukira, bikamunanira kwihangana, nta kabuza amahirwe menshi nuko azagukatira.
7. Kutiha agaciro no kwiyubaha gake
Birashoboka ko atiha agaciro nk’ako yagakwiye kwiha. Abasore bamwe na bamwe bumva ko ntaho bahuriye n’umukobwa bakunda, ko batari ku rwego rumwe. Abasore bamwe bumva batameze neza, kuko bumva batabaye umugabo nyawe k;umukobwa bakunda, cyane cyane ku bijyanye n’ubukungu, bumva ko batabashimisha, bikaba byatuma babakatira, nubwo umukobwa we btacyo biba bimutwaye.
8. Ntashobora gukunda.
Ku basore bamwe na bamwe, urukundo n’uburebure butagerwaho, ku bandi ni intambara kuba bashobora kwerekana urukundo.
9. Ahari hose ushaka kumukurikirana cyane no kumwinjirira mu buzima bwe bwihariye.
Birashoboka ko umusore yagukatira bitewe nuka wamuhigaga cyane, ushaka kumenya buri kamwe kose ku buzima bwe, umukurikirana hirya no hino. Abakobwa bamwe na bamwe, mu byukuri bakurikirana abasore bakundana cyane, bamwe bashaka kubahamagara buri kanya, ko baganira igihe cyose bishoboka.
Abasore bamwe bahitamo kwiha amahoro, kuganira n’umukobwa bakundana byibuze rimwe kumunsi kandi ntacyo bitwaye, ni byiza. Ibi ntibisobanura ko urukundo bafitiye umukobwa bakundana atari urw’ukuri, kuko umusore cyangwa umukobwa, ashobora kukuvugisha cyane kandi buri kanya, kandi akaba yanaguca inyuma byoroshye.
10. Ntameze neza mu mutwe
Abakobwa bamwe na bamwe ni abamikazi b’ikinamico (drama queens), abigira abamikazi (slay queens), kandi abasore bamwe na bamwe, ntibafite icyo bisaba kugirango babe bashobokana nabo. Abakobwa bamwe bafite ubukana muri kamere, ku bw’ibyo abasore benshi ntibashobora guhangana n’ubwo bukana, ariko hamwe n’igihe, bamwe bashobora kugira imbaraga zo guhangana nabyo ntibongere gukomererwa n’iryo kinamico, mugihe hari bamwe batabyihanganira kandi ntibabe bashobora gutanga ibitekerezo bikwiye no kugira inama, bagahitamo gutandukana.
