HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Amwe mu marangamutima benshi bananirwa gusobanura hazamo URUKUNDO. Guhura n’umuntu mushya, yaba ari uwabahuje (ab’ubu babyita gutanga passe), mwaba mumenyaniye ku mbuga nkoranyambaga cyangwa mu ishuri no mu kazi, ukumva muri wowe hari ibyiyumvo bikuzamutsemo ndetse ukagira zimwe mu mpinduka wibonaho zidasanzwe, ni urukundo kandi ruza igihe rushatse, rugwa ku wo rushatse, rimwe na rimwe ugakunda ukarira, ubundi ukagirango urimo amadayimoni ndetse hakaba n’uwakubwira ko warwaye ikigatura.
Abahanga bagiye bakora ubushakashatsi bunyuranye nuko bahuriza hamwe ingingo zizakwereka ko koko wafashwe n’ikibatsi cy’urukundo kandi rwose koko umutima ukunda ntiwihishira.
Reka muri iyi nkuru tuvuge ku ngingo zirindwi zizakubwira ko burya nawe wamaze gukunda.
1. Ububabare buragabanyuka bwaba ubwo ku mubiri cyangwa mu ntekerezo.
Nubwo uba utazi ngo bizarangira bite ariko iyo urukundo rukiri rushyashya rutuma utumva uburibwe.
Ubushakashatsi bwasohotse mu kinyamakuru the New York Times, bwakozwe n’abashakashatsi bo muri Stanford University bwagaragaje ko urukundo ari umwe mu miti yarwanya ububabare kuko rutuma ubwonko butabasha kubwumva.
Ubu bushakashatsi bwerekanye ko ku bantu 40% barebye ifoto y’uwo bakunda byatumye batongera kumva uburibwe bworoheje (nko kuribwa umutwe cyangwa umunaniro, no kubabara mu nda) naho 15% byatumye batumva uburibwe bukomeye (nk’ubuza nyuma yo gushya cyangwa gukora impanuka idakabije cyane ariko nanone ikomeye).
2. Umera nk’umusinzi.
Burya nimusohokana wanywa rimwe ukumva ryakugezemo, riba rirengana ahubwo ni ibyiyumviro, amarangamutima biba bigusindishije.
Nkuko CNN ibivuga iyo uri mu rukundo hakorwa umusemburo wa oxytocin ku bwinshi nuko ukagutera kwisanzura, kwirekura ndetse no kudatinya ibi bikaba bikunze kuranga abatangiye gusinda. Abashakashatsi bo muri Birmingham university bagaragaje ko nubwo alukolo na oxytocin bitaba mu gace kamwe k’ubwoonko ariko inagruka zabyo kuwo biriho zirangana. Ndetse oxytoxin uko izamuka ituma ukora ibidasanzwe cyane cyane iyo uri hafi y’uwo wihebeye (uzabimenya neza hagize ikibi cyenda kumubaho uko ubyitwaramo).
3. Unanirwa kuvuga.
Uku kunanirwa kuvuga hazamo kudedemanga ndetse no gusobwa kuvuga bikanga, ukabura amagambo ukoresha. Niba wagirango biterwa na epinephrine burya wibeshyaga kuko ntiyizamura ahubwo ni urukundo rutuma bikubaho cyane cyane iyo uwo ukunda akugezeho agutunguye bikaba akarusho agusanze mu bantu benshi.
4. Ubira ibyuya
Nibyo iyo uwo ukunda akuri hafi mu biganza no mu birenge haratutubikana ndetse hari n’abatemba amazi pee.
Nkuko tubikesha Thenakedscientists.com urukundo rukora kuri monoamines ibi bikaba ibinyabutabire byohereza ubutumwa mu bice binyuranye by’umubiri nuko bigatuma aho umubiri urangirira (intoki n’ibirenge) habira ibyuya. Niba ushaka kumenya ko nawe rwamuzonze, nibikubaho uzamukore mu biganza wumve uko iwe bimeze.
5. Iyo umubonye bitunguranye uyoberwa niba umusuhuza cyangwa wiruka.
Wenda muhuriye mu nzira cyangwa se umubonye ahantu utacyekaga. Utangira kwibaza uti ese musuhuze nkomeze ibyanjye cyangwa nigendere n’ubundi ntiyambonye? Ibi wibaza ni ukubera urukundo rwakubujije amahwemo kuko rudahari ntiwabyibazaho.
Nkuko tubibona muri Cosmopolitan , urukundo rugushyira mu gihe kimeze nk’icya stress; mbese nka cya gihe ubona ugeze ku iteme ukibaza niba uryambuka cyangwa unyerera ukagwamo. Gusa hano tukugiriye inama jya ugenda umugwemo niyo mutatindana akanyamuneza uzahakura kazagusunika amasaha.
6. Nta gusonza
Bajya bavuga ngo abageni baba barebana akana ko mu jisho nuko bakibagirwa kurya. Si bo gusa burya n’undi wese waguye mu nyanja y’urukundo ibyo kurya nta gaciro biba bifite imbere ye aka ya ndirimbo ngo siribateri ntakirya ntakiryama asigaye atunzwe n’ifoto y’uwo akunda.
Urubuga eHarmony rugaragaza ko ibimenyetso bya mbere by’uko winjiye mu rukundo harimo ikizibakanwa kitazanywe n’ubundi burwayi ahubwo gitewe nuko ibitekerezo byibereye ahandi, ku wo wakunze. Niyo muri kumwe, kurya no kunywa nta gaciro mubiha ahubwo ibiganiro biba bihagije kandi mukumva muranyuzwe.
Ubu bushakashasti gusa igitangaje bwerekana koi bi bishobora gutera gutakaza ibiro ariko noneho bikongera ubushake bwo gukora imibonano kandi bigatera kurangiza bitakugoye.
7. Uruhu rwo mu maso ruracya
Iyo wageze mu rukundo usubira ibwana, isura igacya, wakisiga amavuta noneho akagufata. Erega n’iminkanyari iragabanyuka kuko uba uhora mu munezero. Ni ho bahera bavuga ko umukobwa wari waragumiwe iyo abonye umugabo ahita atemba itoto
Nkuko Self ibivuga, urukundo rutuma imiyoboro y’amaraso yaguka nuko intungamubiri ndetse na oxygen bigatembera neza kandi ku bwinshi bigatera umubiri guhorana itoto.
