HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Mu rukundo hagati y’umusore n’inkumi cyangwa umugabo n’umugore habamo byinshi binyuranye. Buri umwe agira uko arwerekana niyo mpamvu kugereranya umuntu n’undi bitaba byiza. Hari uwmva kurukwereka ari ukugusura kenshi undi akumva kurukwereka ari ukuguhamagara kenshi. Hari urukwereka agutembereza ahantu hahenze undi akarukwereka aguha impano za buri gihe.
Uko byamera kose nyamara burya abagabo hari amakosa bajya bakora mu rukundo batabizi, ndetse bakwiye kwirinda kugira atangiza umubano wabo n’abakunzi babo nk’uko tugiye kubireba muri iyi nkuru.
1. GUKENERA KWITABWAHO CYANE
Ntawe kuri iyi si udakenera kwitabwaho nyamara iyo bigeze mu rukundo ugasanga umugabo niwe ugaragaza ko akeneye kwitabwaho kurenza umugore biba ari bibi. Muri kamere twaremanywe abagore nibo bakenera kwerekwa ko bitaweho, wowe mugabo icyo usabwa ni ugukunda umugore no kumwereka ko umwitayeho naho we asabwa kugukunda no kukubaha. Musore, wishaka ko umukobwa ariwe ugusohokana akakugurira, akaguha impano, nanabikora mureke abyibwirize.
2. IMPANO ZA BURI GIHE
Usanga akenshi umusore utangiye gutereta asohokana umukobwa ahantu hahenze, akamuha impano zihenze kandi za buri gihe, ngo yizeye ko aribwo ari bumufatishe. Ibi bizereka umukobwa ko wowe utifitemo icyizere, ko mu miterere yawe ntacyo ufite cyamukurura ahubwo uri kwifashisha ibintu bigurwa, kandi wibuke ko bishira. Ikindi uri kumwereka ubushobozi burenze ubwo ufite, niba umumenyereje kumujyana mu ihoteri y’inyenyeri 5, ubutaha numujyana muri mukubite umwice umenye ko azataha yagukatiye kuko azaba abona ko watangiye kumutesha agaciro cyangwa se uko wamwiyeretse atari ko uri.
Burya ushobora gushushanya akarabo n’ikaramu, wamutumira mugategurana ifunguro mukarisangirira iwawe. Mwanatemberera ahantu nko mu gashyamba mwitwaje akantu ko kunywa mukagasangirirayo, bigaragaza gusangira ubuzima. Ntitubujije abafite ubushobozi kubukoresha ariko zirikana ko urukundo nyarwo rutubakira ku byo utunze.
3. KUDATEGA AMATWI
Iri kosa rigonga abagabo hafi ya bose. Abagore usanga ikibazo bagira ari ukuvuga ko umugabo we atajya amwumva. Umugore niyo yakubwira ibiterekeranye akakubwira inkuru za mva he na njya he, usabwa kumutega amatwi kandi ukamwereka ko wakurikiye bitari ukwikiriza bya nyirarureshwa. Abagore bose siko bavuga amagambo angana rero niba uwawe yikundira kuvuga, mutege amatwi kuko kutamwumva ntibizamuhindura ngo areke kuvuga ahubwo bizazana agatotsi mu mubano wanyu.
4. KUBWIRIZWA
Hari abagabo usanga byose mu rugo babikora ari umugore ufashe umwanzuro, ngo aha ni ukubahiriza ubwuzuzanye. Mu gufata imyanzuro yose ireba urugo n’iterambere ryarwo bisaba guhuza 50/50 gusa akadomo ka nyuma kagashyirwaho n’umugabo kuko kugeza n’ubu niwe amategeko yemera ko ari umutware w’umuryango. Nyamara niba wigira ntibindeba, umwana yakubaza amafaranga y’ishuri uti baza nyoko, umukozi yasaba guhembwa uti baza nyokobuja, byereka umugore ko wihunza inshingano zawe mu rugo.
5. KUTAGIRA IGENAMIGAMBI
Abagore bakunda umugabo ufite indoto, ibyifuzo n’imigambi y’iterambere. Niba wowe mugabo ibyawe byose ari mbarubucyeye, uri kwangiza umubano. Gira gahunda, imihigo wiha kandi uharanire kuyigeraho. Nutsindwa rimwe cyangwa kabiri ntucike intege kuko n’imyaka ishobora gushira ukigerageza amaherezo bikemera.
6. GUHINDURA IBYO WITAGAHO
Iyo ugitereta usanga umukobwa ari we nyambere. Niwe uhamagara umwanya munini, niwe wandikira kenshi, mbese mu byo ukora byose niwe nyambere. Mwamara kubana ugasanga birahindutse, za mpano ntukizimuha, usigaye wibera mu kabari no mu mupira, mbese nyine wabaye nka wa wundi wavuze ati iyo wamaze gufatisha ifi ntiwongera kuyiha iminyorogoto, akirengagiza ko natayiha ya minyorogoto izapfa. Umubano ntukwiye guhindurwa nuko noneho wamugejeje iwawe, ahubwo kugirango uhamukomereze ahishimiye, urasabwa gukomeza kumugira nyambere nkuko byahoze.
7. KUTABAGARIRA URUKUNDO
Abagabo mukeneye kwibuka ko urukundo ari nk’ikinyabuzima. Ruravuka rugakura. Iyo udakomeje kurwitaho rurasaza rukanapfa. Umugabo w’umuhanga urukundo arurekera aha kabiri. Rurakomeza rugakura ntirusaze ahubwo rukiyongera. Umwana uvutse akaba indi mpamvu ituma rukura, umutungo wiyongereye, akazi kabonetse, mbese ikibaye cyose cyiza kikaberaho kurukuza. Umugore niyo yaba ashaje kumubwira ko umukunda ntibyamugwa nabi, kumukorakora, kumusoma, kumusohokana aracyabishaka kuko uri uwe nawe ni uwawe.
