HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Muri iyi nkuru tugiye kurebera hamwe uburyo bworoheje bwagufasha guhindura imyitwarire y’uwo ukunda, maze mukagendera munzira imwe bitabaye ngombwa kumwirukana mubuzima bwawe burundu. Bituma urukundo rwanyu rukomera cyane.
Intambwe 1: Umva ikimutera kumva adashaka guhinduka
Kuba uwo mukundana yaba afite imyitwarire ubona idakwiye kandi ukabona idahinduka, haba hari ikintu kibyihishe inyuma gituma adahitamo guhinduka. Dufate nk’urugero: Niba umukobwa mukundana ubona akubeshya, akabikora uyu munsi, ukamubwira, akongera akabikora undi munsi, akabikora inshuro nyinshi. Ikibazo aho si uko Atari mukuru, kumubwira ngo “jya witwara nk’umuntu ukuze” ntacyo bizahindura kumyitwarire ye. Ahubwo bizatuma akuzinukwa burundu.
Dufate urundi rugero: Niba umusore mukundana anywa inzoga cyane agasinda, akaba arara mutubyiniro agataha ijoro cg bwakeye. Kumubwira ngo ajye yifata nk’umugabo cibyo byatuma ahinduka. Ahubwo bizabatandukanya.
Ahubwo wamubaza impamvu ajya mukabyiniro. “ujya mukabyiniro kwishimisha?” “uba wananiwe ugiye kuruhuka?” “Kugirango urebeko waba uri ahantu hatuje?”. Uko uzagenda wumva impamvu abikora, muzafatanya kubona umuti w’uko ibyo ekeneye yabibona ahandi. Bigatuma imyitwarire ye yayihindura.
Intambwe 2: Musubiriremo, noneho umuhe inama
Inama burigihe ntizikora muguhindura imyitwarire y’umuntu, kubera impamvu nyinshi. Kenshi harubwo byumvikana nkaho uri kumucira urubanza, cg kuba umufata nk’umunyamakosa bigatuma ahubwo arushaho kurakara, nuko ntiyongere kugutega amatwi.
Arko, igihe umaze gufata umwanya ukamutega amatwi, ukumva impamvu yitwara muri ubwo buryo, n’impamvu ataba ashaka guhinduka, ushobora kumuha uburyo wowe utekereza bwamufasha. Muri ubu buryo biragoranye cyane ko umuntu yakanga kukumva, mugihe nawe yamaze kukubwira ibibazo bye bimutera kudahinduka.
Kugirango ibyo umubwira bigire imbaraga cyane, musubiriremo ikibazo nk’uko yakikubwiye. Kumusubiriramo, bizatuma yumva ko wamwumvise kandi wamuhaye agaciro cyane, ko utari kumucira urubanza, umuhindura kungufu. Musubiriremo incuro nk’ebyiri, kugira yumve neza ko impamvuz e wazumvishe.
Intambwe 3: Itware nk’uko ushaka kubona yitwara
Inama burya ngo zumvikana, iyo uwo ubwira abonako nawe ibyo umubwira aribyo ukora. Niyo mpamvu uba ugomba kubaka uburyo bw’imyitwarire ushaka ko uwo ukunda yagira. Bizagusaba kubikora muri ubu buryo:
Ni ukumwereka, si ukumubwira. Mwereke mumigenzereze uko yakora ibintu mubundi buryo Kumwemerera Atari ukumuhakanya. Bikamuha ubutumwa bumubwira, “dore ibyo wagakwiye guhita utangira gukora,” aho kuba “kubera iki utahagarika gukora gutyo koko?”
Biri muntekerezo zacu. Twese tugerageza gukora nk’ibyo tubonana abandi, biroroshye ko nubwo umuntu atavuga, umuntu yareba uburyo yitwara nawe agahitamo kwitwara nkawe. Niba rero uwo mukundana nawe akubonana ingeso mbi, ntazumva inama zawe.
Urugero rworoshye: Niba uwo mukundana adakunda kubyina, wowe shyiramo indirimbo, utangira ubyine. Azabona bishimishije, numufata akaboko azemera aze umwigishe kubyina.
Intambwe ya 4: Shyiraho imbibi
Kwemera imyitwarire y’uwo mukundana si ikintu gikomeye cyane cyemeza ko umwitayeho. Niba imyitwarire ye imubangamiye kandi nawe ikubangamiye, ni igihe cyo kuba washyiraho imbibi. Gushyiraho umurongo ngenderwaho, bivuze kutemera imyitwarire imwe ni mwe mu mibanire yanyu. Ubwo rero, urukundo rwanyu rugira umurongo ngenderwaho rutagomba kurenga.
Impamvu bashyiraho umurongo ngenderwaho, ni ukugirango ibintu bive murujijo, yaba muri wowe no kuwo mukundana, ibigomba kwemerwa n’ibitagomba kwemerwa. Niba umugabo wawe atwara imodoka yiruka cyane, ushobora kumubwira: “Ntukomeze gutwara wihuse.” Bimusubiriremo. Ese kumubuza gutwara yiruka bivuze iki? Ese ntiyatwara yiruka ari mu muhanda utarimo imodoka nyinshi?
Musobanurire neza umubwire ahantu atagomba kujya atwara yiruka cyane. Icyo gihe, uba uri kugenda ushyiraho umurongo ngenderwaho murukundo rwanyu.
Intambwe ya 5: Nawe jya wemera guhinduka
Ntakintu gituma umuntu yumva yahinduka nko kubona nawe wemera kuba wahinduka. Niba nawe uziko ufite imyitwarire uwo mukundana atishimira, shyiramo imbaraga uhinduke. Imbaraga abona ushyira muguhinduka kugirango umushimishe, nizo mbaraga nawe azashyira mu kugirango ahindure imyitwarire ye agushimishe.
Ugomba kwibuka ko, mu rukundo rwanyu muri babiri kandi mungana. Ntuzigere na rimwe usaba uwo mukundana ikintu, nawe uziko utamuha. Wimusaba guhinduka ngo akunezeze kandi nawe udashaka guhinduka ngo umunezeze. Wimusaba kukumva kandi nawe utamwumva.
Hari isomo iyi nkuru iguhaye?twandikire igitekerezo cyawe muri comment hasi gato!!
