HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Mu buzima bwa buri munsi, abantu barakunda abandi bagakundwa ariko ntibigaragare mu buyo bumwe kuko n’intego zitaba ari zimwe.
Hari urukundo nyakuri rushobora nu kuganisha ku gushakana, hakaba n’urukundo umuntu yakwita uruhutiyeho, nubwo zose ari inkundo zikaba zitandukanye haba mu biziranga, haba no mu mishyirirwe mu bikorwa yazo.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho rutuma umwe mu bakundana yica ku bandi bantu kuko aba yumva arangamiye umuntu umwe gusa kubera cya kintu amukurikiyeho, nyamara iyo amaze kukigeraho cyangwa bashwanye arabagarukira.
Mu rukundo nyarwo, habaho kuganira no kungurana ibitekerezo ku mishinga runaka ishobora kubateza imbere ndetse bakagira n’umwanya uhagije wo kuganira ku rukundo.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho rwibanda cyane ku bice bimwe na bimwe by’umubiri umuntu aba yarakundiye undi urugero isura, ikimero, imigendere, inseko, kuberwa ubutunzi n’ibindi…
Urukundo nyarwo ntirugendera ku bintu runaka bidasanzwe bigaragara ku bakundana nk’ibyagaragaye hejuru, ahubwo iyo abakundana bari mu rukundo nyakuri bumva banyuzwe n’uko bari. Mu yandi magambo baba barimariranyemo.
Mu rukundo ruhutiyeho, iyo habayeho kutumvikana, abakundana bahita batandukana byihuse kuko buri wese aba yumva nta kibazo ko azabona abandi bameze nka we.
Iyo urukundo nyarwo rugaragayemo agatotsi, abakundana ntibihutira gutandukana ahubwo bashobora no kumara igihe babyigaho bakazafata umwanzuro nyuma , ndetse byanaba ngombwa bagakomezanya.
Mu rukundo nyakuri, abakundana ntibafuhirana bya cyane ahubwo bahana akanya ko kuganira n’izindi nshuti n’abavandimwe. Uru rukundo nyakuri iyo urugenzemo neza, na za nshuti n’imiryango birabashyigikira.
Iyo mu rukundo ruhutiyeho habayeho kutumvikana ku mpande zombi zumva ko byazicikiyeho aho kureba icyakorwa mu gihe urukundo nyakuri rwo rutegereza kandi rukihangana.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho rurangwa nuko abakundana bishimira kuratira abandi ibyo bakoze (namusomye, twasohokanye,…) mu gihe abari mu rukundo nyakuri baceceka abantu bakabibwirwa n’uko babyiboneye.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho rurafuha cyane (jealous) ariko mu by’ukuri nuko haba hari inyungu idasanzwe abarukundana babifitemo. Mu gihe hatabaho gufuha cyane ku bakundana urukundo nyarwo kuko bagirirana icyizere.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho akenshi ruganisha ku mibonano mpuzabitsina mu gihe urukundo nyakuri rwereka abarurimo ko imibonano mpuzabitsina atari cyo kimenyetso cyonyine kigaragaza abakundana.
Nubwo urukundo ruhutiyeho rushobora gukura rukavamo urukundo nyarwo, ntirukunze kuramba kuko indamu abarukundana baba barutegerejeho baba bamaze kuzibona.
Si byiza gukunda cyangwa gushakana n’umuntu kuko hari icyo umukurikiyeho cyaba umutungo, ubwiza n’ibindi, ahubwo wagakwiye kubikora kubera urukundo.
Urukundo ruhutiyeho (Clash), rurangwa akenshi n’utugambo tworoshye, turyoshye tw’ubusabusa abantu barurimo babwirana ariko muri make nta mushinga cyangwa undi musaruro bigaragara ko wavamo.
