HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Abantu benshi bakunze kwibaza niba umugabo /umugore cyangwa umusore n’inkumi bashobora gukundana igihe kirekire badakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, gusa abashakashatsi babiri Jocelyn Wentland na Elke Reissing, mu bushakashatsi bakoze mu 2011 bagabanyije umubano usanzwe hagati y’umugabo n’umugore mu bice bine by’ingenzi ariko byose bihuriza ku mibonano.
Bityo rero biragoye guhamya ko ahanini urukundo rusanzwe rw’umugabo n’umugore bitazarangira baryamanye nkuko tugiye kubireba muri iyi nkuru.
1. Hari igice kibanza aho usanga mu mubano wabo, kwa kuganira kenshi, kwisanzuranaho bigera aho, niyo byaba rimwe gusa ariko bikabaho ko bakorana imibonano. Ibi akenshi ntibikuraho cyangwa ngo bihindure uko babanye hagati yabo cyangwa babanye n’abo bashakanye/bakundana. Bibaho kenshi binabatunguye, ariko bikabaho. Kuri bo umubano wabo ntuba ushingiye ku mibonano ariko niyo bibaye ngombwa ko bayikora, baba bumva ari nka serivise hagati yabo, nta kindi.
2. Ikindi gice ni igihe usanga bakunze kuganira cyane kandi kenshi ibiganisha mu mibonano. Aho usanga bizerana bakabwirana amabanga, bakaba banajya inama. Ariko iyo bari kumwe bashobora gukora imibonano, gusa bo bikundira ahanini kubiganiraho, kubwirana uko bamerewe, position bakunda se, ibyitwa sexting mu ndimi z’amahanga.
Usanga nta kindi kiganiro kibahuza, iyo umwe abonye undi kenshi ku mbuga nkoranyambaga nta kindi kiganiro bagirana ni ibyo gusa. Iyo bakomeje rero bakajya banakorana imibonano kenshi bava muri iki gice bakajya ku kindi.
3. Igice kindi kirimo noneho ababa baramaze kumenyerana kubera gukunda kubiganiraho kenshi, bakagera ubwo babikora. Bitangira kenshi ari ugushaka gushira amatsiko bikarangira basigaye ari byo biberamo. Iyo ari abubatse ntibibabuza gukomeza gahunda mu ngo zabo, naho iyo ari abasore/inkumi na bo usanga bitababuza gukomeza urukundo n’abo bakundana. Abo bakorana imibonano nyine ni icyo kiba kibahuza gusa.
4. Igice cya nyuma kirimo abahuzwa n’inyungu. Kenshi ni ho haza ibyahawe utubyiniriro nko gukura ibyinyo, gupfubura se, n’izindi nyito zinyuranye. Usanga iyo umwe muri bo akeneye undi aba azi ko hari igiciro runaka agomba kumuha, kandi ntibabifate nko kugura/kugurisha mbese ni kwakundi usanga akenshi wumva ko akazi kose gakwiye igihembo (toute peine merite salaire).
Muri make, usanga umubano hagati y’umugabo n’umugore, bitinde cyangwa bitebuke ugera aho ukagwa muri kimwe mu bice bine tubonye. Ibi ntibivuze ko bidashoboka gukundana ngo ntihazazemo imibonano, birashoboka ndetse cyane. Ariko niba ibiganiro mugirana bijya bizamo ibyerekeye imibonano, amaherezo muzisanga muri kimwe mu byiciro bine tuvuze haruguru.
