HARAGIRIMANA Dieudonne
Abantu benshi baba bibaza uko urukundo rukwiye kumera ariko usanga icyo umwe atekereza gihabanye n’icyo undi atekereza kuri iyi ngingo.
Uko byaba bitandukanye kose ugomba kugira ibyo umenya uha agaciro mbere y’uko winjira mu rukundo bikakubera impamba yo kurugeza ku ntego ushaka. Aya ni amwe mu mahame ukwiriye gushyira ku mutima igihe ushaka kwinjira mu rukundo.
1. Menya ko urukundo rutameze kimwe kuri bose.
Ntabwo urukundo rwaremwe kimwe kuri buri makupure (couples) yose. Ibishobora kukubera byiza mu rukundo urimo bishobora kuba bibi ku rwa mugenzi wawe gutyo gutyo. Ntukwiriye kugira igisa n’igereranya icyo ari cyo cyose mu rukundo urimo n’urwo mugenzi wawe muziranye arimo. Nta n’ubwo urwo wabayemo na runaka mwatandukanye ari rwo uzabamo n’uwo muri kumwe.
2. Ugomba kwitegura kugira ibyo witanga.
Uba ukwiriye kubanza kumenya ko mu rukundo ari ubuzima bwo guhabwa no gutanga, ntukwiriye guhagarara ku nkombe yo kwakira gusa ahubwo itoze nawe kugira ibyo wigomwa kubera uwo mukundana. Urukundo rugenda neza igihe cyose habayeho kwigomwa no gushyiramo imbaraga biturutse ku mpande zombi.
3. Itumanaho rinoze ni ryo musingi ukomeye mu rukundo.
Urukundo rushoboka neza igihe abakundana bombi babasha kuganira bagahana amakuru. Ni ho bihera ibitagenda bikosoka, mugafata n’ingamba z’aho mushaka kugana. Niba mugirana ikibazo ukirakaza ntushake ko mukiganiraho, niba ufata gahunda atazi, niba udashobora kumubwira intambwe z’umunsi wawe umenye ko urwo rukundo ntaho ruba rugana.
4. Menya ko hari ubwo kwigunga bizabaho.
Ntuzatangire urukundo wumva ko ugiye kuziba icyuho cyo kuba wenyine gusa mu buzima, umukunzi wawe ashobora kutaboneka cyangwa kutabonekera igihe bikagusaba kuba wenyine mu gihe runaka. Ntuzumve ko byacitse ahubwo uzumve ko n’ikindi gihe bishoboka wige kubibamo.
5. Gushyamirana ntibibujijwe
Nutangira urukundo ntuzumve ko ari paradizo cyangwa ko ari umumarayika mukundanye. Uzibuke ko no mu gihe habayeho kudahuza atari uko urukundo rwashize. Birashoboka ko abantu babiri batandukanye bashobora kugira ibyo batumvikanaho kandi bakabikemura bikarangira neza. Uko mwaba mukundana kose, hari ubwo gushyamirana nabyo bizabaho kandi birasanzwe mu buzima.
6. Uzibuke ko gukundana bisaba ibirenze urukundo.
Mu gukundana bisaba n’ibindi byinshi birenze kwicara ugashyira mu mutima wawe ko ukunda gusa. Bisaba gushyira hamwe, kumvana, gufatanya, kwizerana, kuganira neza, ubunyangamugayo, n’ibindi byinshi bituma uwo mukundana abona ko koko uri umuntu ukwiriye.
7. Ntuzahora wishimye
Mu rukundo ni gatebe gatoki nk’uko ubuzima busanzwe muri rusange. Mu rukundo habamo ibihe byiza ariko biranahinduka icyabaga intandaro y’ibyiza kikaba cyabura mu gihe runaka. Hari ubwo uwo mukundana wenda azagukandagira atabishaka, hari n’ubwo abandi bazamukandagira akakugeraho atarashira uburakari.
Byose birashoboka ntuzumve ko niba hari ibitanejeje wayobye, ahubwo uzumve ko ibyiza bishobora kugaruka nk’uko byahoze cyangwa bikanagenda burundu kandi urukundo rukagumaho.
8. Ntushobora guhindura uwo mukundana.
Ntuzinjire mu rukundo hari ibyo ubona utabasha kwihanganira ngo wishyiremo ko uzamuhindura. Niba wumva utabasha kubana nabyo ikiza ni ukubireka.
9. Zirikana ibimenyetso bikuburira.
Mu nkuru zacu zindi twigeze kubabwira ku bantu babona ingeso ku bakunzi babo cyangwa bakabona ibimenyetso bibaburira ku mico yabo itari myiza bakabyirengagiza ngo ni amabwire cyangwa inzangano, ntibanafate igihe cyo kwigenzurira.
Mu rukundo umuntu aba atinya kuzababazwa mu gihe runaka, niba hari ibimenyetso bikuburira zimwe mu ngeso utazashobora kwihanganira, wibisuzugura ngo ubiteshe agaciro. Ushobora kubireba mbere y’uko amazi arenga inkombe ukaba wagira ibyo uramira bitarangirika.
Niba winjiye mu rukundo, si byiza ko ugenda nk’ufunze amaso, banza ugire ibyo witaho kandi umenye ko ubuzima winjiyemo atari ubuvumo ku buryo uzahasanga ibyiza gusa
