Charry
Urukundo ni kimwe mu byiyumvo bihambaye kandi bisobekeranye n’amarangamutima, ibitekerezo n’imyitwarire y’abantu. Benshi mu bakundana bahora bibaza niba urukundo rwabo ari urwo nyakuri, niba rushingiye ku kuri, cyangwa niba barurimo ku mpamvu zitari iz’ukuri. Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze bagaragaje ko uko witwara n’icyaguteye gukunda umuntu bishobora kugaragaza neza ubwoko bw’urwo rukundo.
Dore ibintu 5 by’ingenzi abahanga bagaragaje ku rukundo, bishobora kugufasha kwisuzuma neza:
1. Iyo ukunda umuntu kuko agukunda, ni impuhwe (Empathy)
Urukundo nk’uru rukunze kubaho iyo umuntu yitaye kuri wowe mu buryo bukomeye, akagukunda byimbitse, nawe ukumva umutima wawe umusubiza. Ibi bishingiye ku kumva amarangamutima y’undi no gushaka kumubera igisubizo. Ni urugero rwiza ariko nanone rushobora kutaba urukundo rwimbitse igihe cyose rushingiye gusa ku gusubiza ineza.
2. Iyo ukunda umuntu kubera isura ye, ni ukwifuza (Obsession)
Iyo impamvu nyamukuru ikugize mu rukundo ari uko uwo muntu asa cyangwa uko yambaye, icyo uba wiyumvamo gishobora kuba irari (desire) aho kuba urukundo. Nk’uko Psychology Today yabitangaje mu bushakashatsi bwa Dr. Helen Fisher, abantu benshi bagwa mu rukundo rushingiye ku isura bibwira ko ari urukundo nyakuri, ariko bikarangira ari icyifuzo kirimo amarangamutima arangwamo ubwikunde.
3. Iyo ukunda umuntu kubera ubutunzi bwe, ni inyungu (Interest)
Uru rukundo rukunze kuba rugamije kurengera inyungu zawe bwite. Iyo umutima wawe ukururwa n’ibyo umuntu afite aho gukururwa n’uwo ari we, bishobora kugaragaza ko ibyo wita urukundo ari ubucuruzi bw’amarangamutima. Kandi ibi biba intandaro y’imibanire idafite igihagararo.
4. Iyo ukunda umuntu kubera ubuntu n’ineza ye, ni ugushima (Admiration)
Iyo wiyumvamo umuntu kubera umutima we mwiza, uburyo akwitaho, akumva abandi, akanagira ubumuntu butangaje — urwo rukundo ruba rushingiye ku gushimira uwo muntu no kumwubaha. Rurambye, ruba rusobanutse kandi ruba rufite igisobanuro gikomeye mu mibanire y’abakundana.
5. Iyo utazi impamvu ukunda umuntu, ni urukundo nyakuri (True Love)
Iyo ubajijwe impamvu ukunda umuntu ntubashe kubisobanura, ariko ukamwiyumvamo mu buryo budasanzwe, ntushakire mu isura ye, amafaranga ye cyangwa ibikorwa bye, ahubwo ugakunda uko ari — icyo ni ikimenyetso gikomeye cy’urukundo rwimbitse kandi rudashingiye ku nyungu. Uru ni rwo rukundo abahanga bavuga ko rudusumba, rutagira impamvu zisobanutse, ariko rufite imbaraga kurusha izindi zose.
Kumenya impamvu ukunda umuntu ni ingenzi mu kubaka umubano uhamye kandi w’ukuri. Niba urukundo rwawe rufite imizi mu marangamutima atarimo inyungu, irari cyangwa igitutu, ushobora kuba uri mu rukundo nyarwo. Ariko niba ubona warinjiye mu rukundo kubera impamvu runaka itari iyo mu mutima ni ingenzi kwitekerezaho no gusuzuma niba aho uri ari ho ushaka gukomeza kuba.
Nk’uko byatangajwe na Psychology Today, “Urukundo nyarwo ntirusaba impamvu; ruriyumva, rugakurura, rugatanga icyizere n’amahoro utabashije gusobanura.”
