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Ibintu 6 wakwitandukanya nabyo niba wifuza iterambere muri 2020

Imyitwarire abantu bagira mu buzima busanzwe igira uruhare rukomeye mu kugena uko ejo hazaza habo hazaba hameze. Abantu bageze ku bintu bifatika mu buryo bugaragarira amaso, ntabwo ari uko ari abahanga mu bwenge cyane kurusha abandi, ahubwo ni uko hari ibintu baba barahisemo kugenderaho mu buzima bwabo ndetse bakabyubahiriza nk’aho ari ihame.

Niba ushaka gutera imbere no kugera ku bintu bifatika, abahanga batanze inama z’imyitwarire ugomba kwirinda. YEGOB twabakoreye icyegeranyo cy’ibintu 6 ukwiye kwitandukanya nabyo niba ushaka gutera imbere muri uyu mwaka wa 2020.

1. Guhora ushidikanya

Wabyemera utabyemera nta muntu uba ugomba kugufatira ibyemezo, ubuzima ni ubwawe n’ibyemezo bigomba gufatwa nawe. Gushidikanya bitera kugwingira kw’ibitekerezo wari wifitemo ndetse bikica inzozi z’ahazaza.

Gushaka gutera imbere no gushidikanya ntabwo wabivanga, iyo ushaka kugera ku ntego zawe ugomba gutandukana no gushidikanya ko ibyo ushaka bidashoboka.

2. Kutita ku bintu abandi bavuga

Abantu bazahora bavuga, banenga, bashima , batera umwete, bakwena n’ibindi, ibyo bivuze ko bakora ibyo bashaka byaba ibikubaka cyangwa ibigusenya. Aho rero niho nawe ugomba guhera ukora ibyawe bikurimo ndetse wumva ko bigufitiye akamaro utitaye ku marangamutima yabo.

Impamvu ugomba gukora ibigufitiye akamaro ni uko udashobora kubuza abantu kuvuga cyangwa kugutekereza uko bashaka kandi wowe kubyitaho byakubuza kugera ku iterambere wifuza.

3. Si byiza guhora usubika icyo wari bukore

Ikintu cyo gusubika gahunda wagombaga gukora bituma umuntu atagera ku ntego n’inzozi ze.

Abantu benshi bapfana inzozi babashaga kugeraho bitewe n’uko batigeze bazishyira mu bikorwa ahubwo bahoraga muri nzakora iki, nzakora kiriya.

Ntushobora kuzigera ugera ku ntego niba udashobora gutangira, gutegereza ko hari ibintu uzageraho bihagije ngo ubone gutangira gukora ntibibabo, uzahora iteka wimura gahunda.

Uburyo bubonetse ubukoresha uko buri, ntabwo wazigera ugera kure udatangiriye ku ntambwe imwe.

4. Ubwoba

Ubwoba bw’uko bitazemera cyangwa bw’imbogamizi ni ikintu gituma abenshi badatera imbere. Usanga hari abagira ubwoba by’ibyo abandi bazavuga, bwo kutazagera ku ntego, bwo kudakora umushinga nk’uko wateganyijwe.

Ubwoba ni ikintu kibi cyane bushobora no gutuma intare isiga umuhigo wayo kandi ari mu ishyamba isanzwemo.

Kwitandukanya n’ubwoba, ukiyemeza ni cyo kintu cyonyine gifasha umuntu kuba yagera ku ntego ze.

5. Kuvuga gusa udakora

Ikindi kimungu kibuza abantu gutera imbere, ni uguhoza mu magambo y’ibyo bazakora ariko batabishyira mu bikorwa.

Uko upanga kose ibyo uzakora n’uburyo waba ubivugamo kose ndetse ubiganiriza n’abandi nta kamaro bigira igihe cyose utabishyira mu bikorwa. Ibikorwa biruta amagambo, wavuga make ariko ugakora cyane.

6. Gucika intege ku ikubitiro

Abantu bose bateye imbere, si uko bataba barahuye n’ibibaca intege bitandukanye,ahubwo baba baragize ubutwari bwo kubyihanganamo bagakameza urugendo.

Niba rero ushaka gutera imbere no kugera kure hashoboka uba ugomba guhangana n’ibibazo ntibikubuze gutera imbere.

Nubwo izi nama atari zo zonyine wagenderaho ariko ugerageje kugira iyi myitwarire ukayigenderaho mu buzima bwawe bitinde bitebuke watera imbere.

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Ngizi ingeso zizakwereka ko umukobwa mukundana atazubaka urugo ngo rukomere|Umugendere kure.

Nkuko bisanzwe YEGOB tubagezaho zimwe mu nkuru z’urukundo ndetse n’izijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere. uyu munsi rero twagerageje kubakusanyiriza bimwe mubintu byingenzi bikunzwe kugarukwaho biranga umukobwa udafite gahunda yogushinga urugo ngo rukomere,kuburyo wamugendera kure kuko ntaho yakugeza  mu rukundo.

Ibiranga uwo mukobwa ni ibi:

1. Akabya gukunda gusenga

Uyu azi imirongo ya Bibiliya yose mu mutwe we, avuga Imana buri kanya, arakureba ikijisho niwibeshya ugakora mu biryo udasenze. Gusiba misa ni icyaha ntababarirwa, imvura yaba igwa muragenda. Mu nzu nta kindi amanikamo uretse amashusho y’abamalayika n’ibyerekaranye n’amasengesho. Niba uziko udasenga cyane nka we wikwimena umutwe umutereta.

Muri rusange gukunda gusenga cyane kwe gutuma yumva adashishikariye cyane iby’urukundo. Kuri we urukundo ni inshingano.Nimubana witegure guhinduka nka we cyangwa amakimbirane.

2. Ntahaga gutera akabariro 

Bigitangira biba ari sawa. Ariko niyo wagira gute uzasanga nyuma ubushake bwe utabushobora. Yifuza ko muryamana inshuro nyinshi ku munsi. Bene aba bakobwa barimo ibice bibiri; Abakunda kwiha akabyizi kenshi n’umuntu umwe, n’abakunda uwo murimo iyo bawukoranye n’abantu barenze umwe.

Uko biri kose bombi nta n’umwe wowe ubwawe musore/mugabo wabasha. Byanze bikunze azaguca inyuma .

3.Ukunda ibintu

Uzabona inkumi nziza yambaye neza isa neza mbese yaka! Ariko ntuzahure n’ibyago byo gusanga ikunda cyane imirimbo ya zahabu na diyama, imyenda y’igiciro, imibavu y’imitaliyani iza n’indege, inkweto zitagurirwa Nyabugogo,cyangwa muyandi ma soko yo mu Rwanda mbese akunda icyo bita Luxe.

Muri we burya nta mwanya w’urukundo kuri wowe urimo, ibyo yimariyemo ngibyo. Buri gihe azaba akubaza uko konti yawe ihagaze ngo yumve niba yabonamo ay’agasheneti kagezweho . Azi gusetsa cyane azi n’uburyo bwo kugukurura ukamuha icyo ashaka cyose.

4.Ukunda rwaserera

Ubundi uyu uzanasanga akunda film za actions, mu buzima uzasanga afitanye na benshi ibibazo bidashinga, ntaho agera ngo ahave amahoro, ahorana intonganya n’abantu asanze.

Ikindi uzasanga ari umuhanga mu kubara inkuru.Kuri we ubuzima bwe ni film kandi akaba ariwe ‘type’ (acteur principale). Niba ukunda umutuzo wawe hunga mwihorere witereta bene uyu mukobwa.

5. Niwe utegeka

Uyu mukobwa akunda gutegeka ko ibintu bigenda uko ashaka. Numuha amahirwe yo kwinjira mu buzima bwawe azaguhindura irobo ‘Robot’. Umunsi wa mbere muzapanga gusangira azakubwira ahantu heza mwahurira, nuzuyaza akubwire ati “Ahubwo hansange niho njye ubu ngeze”.

Numukunda umenye ko ugiye gutakaza ubwigenge ku buzima bwawe. Azaba umugabo kuko nibyo akunda, no kuburiri bizagenda uko yabiteganyije, bene aba bakobwa iyo wamushyize mu rugo ukanyuranya n’ugushaka kwe ntatinya no kugukora munsi y’amatwi.

6. Habuze gato ngo abe umuhungu

Ubundi aba nta kibazo, uzasanga mu mvugo y’ubu babita “Abajama” ngo “nta ribi rye”, n’ubundi koko nta ribi rye. Mu mico ni nk’abasore, nibo bagendana, yambara nkabo, ntasuka imisatsi ye nk’abandi bakobwa, akora sport cyane kuko n’umubiri we akenshi umeze nk’uw’abakora sport cyane.

Uyu muzapfa ahanini ko numusaba ngo yambare amere nk’abakobwa uzaba umusaba gukora ibirenze ibyo kuri we, umuntu yashobora. Nibabatumira muri Soiree yiyubashye azakuzira mu i Jeans n’ikoti maze bwana wowe usebe. Niba udakunda bene aba bakobwa wikwibeshya ukundana nawe. Mujye mugendana musangire agacupa na sport ariko ntiwibeshye ngo mukundane.

7. Ni Nyirabirori

Imibyizi na weekend kuri we birasa. Afite imyenda myinshi yo gusohokana kurusha iyo gukorana. Akurikirana akambaro kagezweho, akunda cyane kuba agaragara ko acyeye, ndetse iyo byanze arakwishotorera.Azi aho utbyiniro n’utubari dushya turi, hoteli zose azizi mu busa.

8. Ntajya akura mu mutwe

Imyaka arenda kuyingana na nyirabukwe ariko imyifatire ni nk’umwana. Gufata inshingano, ibyemezo na gahunda ntabwo ari ibintu bimureba. Mu rukundo arahumye umujyana aho ushaka. Mu by’ukuri icyo uyu akeneye ni se si umugabo wo kumurongora.

Usanga ameze nk’ushaka gusingira ubwana bwe yenda igihe cyabwo yaragize bubi. Nushaka kumugira umugore ubwo uzamushakira n’umuganga wo mu mutwe uzajya unahemba agufashe kumukuza mu bwenge. Gusa ni ‘abana beza’ kandi banezerwa, ariko niba ushaka kubaka uyu murekere abubatse yenda!

9. Yasaritswe n’ifuha

Abagore bose kuri we niba mukeba. Muri kugendana umukobwa mwiza atambutse iruhande rwanyu, ubwo hisha amaso niba udashaka ko agutuka akagukonkobora imbere ya rubanda. Buri kanya araguhamagara akubaza aho uri, niyumva ijwi ry’umugore inyuma yawe cyangwa hafi aho mu minota micye araba abagezeho aze yikiranure n’uwo mukeba.

Ikitwa Password ukoresha byose arabishaka ngo utagira icyo umuhisha, arashaka kumenya abo muganira kuri Facebook, WhatsApp, Email kuri Telephone nihagira igitsina gore kiguhamagara yumva, nawe arashaka nimero y’uwo mukeba ataranamenya.

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Ibintu 10 byagufasha kubana neza no kurambana n’uwo mubana/mwashakanye

Nta muntu utifuza uburyohe bw’urukundo, baciye umugani ngo “Nta zibana zidakomana amahembe”, nyamara mu kuyakomanya hari icyatuma muryoherwa n’urukundo.

1.Buri munsi mwereke ko umwishimira

Ni ngombwa ko buri munsi umwereka ko wishimira kuba muri kumwe. Ibi ushobora kubimubwira, cyangwa kumuha utuntu tunyuranye n’iyo twaba tudahenze, yewe ushobora no kwifashisha ibyo musanganywe mu buzima bwanyu aho iwanyu. Urugero, ushobora gutegura ifunguro akunda, ushobora kumuha akarabo ko muri jardin yanyu, aka bombo k’icumi, ndetse n’ikindi cyose wamuha ubwe ukamwereka ko ariwe ku giti cye wakigeneye kandi ko wabitekerejeho.

2.Irinde kumubeshya cyangwa kumuca inyuma

Iki ni ikintu gikomeye cyane kandi abantu benshi bubatse ingo bemeza ko gisenya ingo nyinshi. Abashakanye benshi bemeza ko mu byatuma bazinukwa uwo babana ari uko amubeshya cyangwa se cyane cyane aramutse amuciye inyuma. Ibi ntawabivugaho byinshi kuko byumvikana cyane ko iyo uwo ukunda cyangwa mubana aguciye inyuma cyangwa akakubeshya, wumva ko yaguhemukiye cyane kandi akaba yabitewe n’uko yaba atakigukunda.

3.Irinde kumuhoza ku nkeke

No mu busanzwe « guhoza ku nkeke » iri mu mpamvu zemerwa n’ubutabera iyo ababanaga basaba ubutane. Si byiza guhoza ku nkeke uwo mubana kuko yumva nta mahoro n’umutuzo abonera aho yakagombye kuba abisanga. Bituma rero yatekereza kuhava vuba. Si byiza guhora umutunga urutoki umucyurira ibyo yigeze gukora bitari byiza.

4.Mufate umwanya wo kuganira ku bibazo byanyu

Nta zibana zidakomana amahembe niko abanyarwanda bavuga. Ubwumvikane buke mu rugo bushobora no guterwa n’ibibazo bisanzwe byo mu muryango, cyangwa umutungo n’ibindi. Ibyo ntibyabura, nyamara ni ngombwa ko ababana bafata igihe bakicarana bakaganira ku bibazo byabo, kandi bagasasa inzobe nta guca ibintu ku ruhande. Nibwo babona aho bahera babikosora. Kuruca ukarumira kandi ubona hari ibibazo ntabwo byukaba. Aha biba byiza iyo mufashe akanya mukajya kuganirira ahandi hatuje hatari mu rugo aho musanzwe muba.

5.Kwibukiranya ibyiza mwanyuzemo

Aha ni ukuvuga ko mutagomba kwibagirwa amateka meza kandi abubaka yo mu buzima bwanyu. Aha twavuga nk’amataliki y’ingenzi: amavuko, igihe mwamenyaniye, uko mwamenyanye n’aho mwari muri, igihe mwashyingiriwe n’ibindi, mugahora mubyibukiranya kuko biba nk’ifumbire mu rukundo rwanyu.

6.Ishimire gutanga kurusha guhabwa

Ishimire ibyo ukorera uwo mubana kuruta ko washimishwa n’uko we hari icyo agukorera cyangwa aguha. Kuko gutanga ngo bishimisha kuruta guhabwa. Bityo buri wese muri mwe nabikora umubano wanyu uzaba nk’umunyenga muri paradizo.

7.Mutangire kandi musoze buri munsi muri hamwe

Birumvikana cyane ko ibi byakubaka urugo rwanyu igihe cyose muri kumwe, nyamara ntitwirengagiza ko umwe ashobora kujya kure kubera akazi cyangwa izindi mpamvu, ariko inama igirwa ababana ni uko iyo bishoboka mwajya musoza umunsi mugatangira undi muri hamwe. Ni ukuvuga ko murarana, mbese mugenzi wawe akaba ariwe muntu wabonye nyuma mu gusoza umunsi ndetse akaba ari nawe ubona ukanavugisha mbere y’abandi mu gutangira umunsi. Ibi ntako byaba bisa. Iyo bidashoboka ko muba muri kumwe, ushobora no gukoresha ikoranabuhanga, ukamuhamagara cyangwa ukamwandikira, ukaba ariwe ubikorera mbere y’abandi bose.

8.Urukundo nk’umunsi wa mbere

Kora uko ushoboye ku buryo buri gihe muri kumwe witwara nk’umunsi wa mbere musohokana, uhore ucyeye imbere ye, umusekere, umurebe nk’uko wabikoraga mu minsi ya mbere y’urukundo rwanyu, nuteganya kumusohokana nabwo ubitegure nk’uko wabiteguye icyo gihe musohokana bwa mbere. Ibi ni nk’ibirungo wongera iteka mu mubano wanyu ngo urusheho kuramba no kubaryohera.

9.Mwereke ko umutekereza

Aha bavuga ko abantu benshi babana bagera aho bakamenyerana bakumva ko umubano wabo byose ari nk’ibisanzwe nta gishya cyazamo. Nyamara bibagirwa ko buri wese aba akeneye kubona ko mugenzi we aho ari amuzirikana. Bityo rero inama igirwa ababana, ni uko buri wese ku ruhande rwe aho ari mu mirimo ye ya buri munsi yajya yereka mugenzi we ko atamuva ku mutima, ushobora gukoresha ubutumwa bugufi kuri telephone, whatsapp, cyangwa se ukaba wanamuhamagara. Abantu benshi bandikira izindi nshuti zabo, yewe usanga hari n’abandikirana kuri whatsapp kandi bicaranye, nyamara ntibibuke koherereza ubutumwa bwiza bw’urukundo uwo basanzwe babana.

10.Funga cyangwa zimya telephone yawe cyangwa computer

Aha rero byagaragaye ko muri iki gihe hari abashakanye bajya mu buriri bagifite telephone zabo mu ntoki bari kuri chat n’inshuti zabo. Ibi byangiza cyane umushyikirano w’abashakanye, kuko ntawe uba yitaye ku wundi. Kandi iyo umwe abikora, utabikora yumva atitaweho. Iyi ni imungu ikomeye iri kumunga ingo nyinshi muri iki gihe. Inama rero ni uko mu gihe witegura kuryama, ugomba kuzimya telephone yawe cyangwa mudasobwa byibura isaha imwe mbere y’uko ujya kuryama, kugira ngo ushyire ubwenge bwawe hamwe, wite k’uwo muri kumwe, wite no ku biganiro mugirana.

Ngaho rero, ubwira uwumva ntavunika, tubifurije kuramba mu mubano wanyu n’abo mwashakanye/mubana.

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Ibintu abasore/abagabo bibeshya ko byatuma abakobwa babibamariramo bikarangira batewe indobo.

Twese turi bakuru kandi turatekereza, uko byagenda kose hari icyo utekereza wavuga, wakora, cyangwa wakerekana kugira wigarurire umutima we! Gukora ibyo nitekerereje ntibazatuma anyimariramo by’ukuri. Twese tuba dushaka uburyo bwose bushoboka twakoresha kugira umukobwa abe yadukunda, ariko gukora ibintu bidasanzwe si igisubizo kirambye. Tuvuga ibyerekeye imiryango yacu, aho duturuka, imodoka, akazi ndetse n’amafaranga, uburyo turi abantu batandukanye n’abandi ndetse tukaba turi abasore beza. Nubwo koko ibi umusore ashobora kubikora, bikagaragara nkaho yigaruriye umutima wose w’umukobwa, gusa ntibituma mugirana urukundo rurambye kandi ntakomeza kukwimariramo ibihe byose, dore ko bishobora gutuma anakubenga mu gihe gito.

Hano twaguteguriye ibintu 4 abasore/abagabo bibwira ko byatuma umukobwa abakunda numutima we wose kandi bibeshya.

1. Umukobwa ntashobora kukwimariramo nk’uko ubitekereza

Iyo ugeregeje gukora cyane ushyizemo ingufu ngo wigarurire umutima w’umukobwa, ntibikunda. Gushaka ko umukobwa akwimariramo ukoresha imitungo cyangwa wigira umusore ukomeye cyane, ntibituma akwiyumvamo. Iyo umukobwa yumva agukunze kandi akwimariyemo, uko ugaragara inyuma cyane ntabiha agaciro gakomeye nkuko ubitekereza. Ushobora kuba uri mu ideni rikomeye, udafite imyenda igezweho, kandi ukibana n’ababyeyi ariko iyo yakwimariyemo, ibyo ntacyo biba bivuze kuri we.

2. Amafaranga ntiyatuma umukobwa akwimariramo.

Abakuzi b’ibyinyo benshi baba bashaka abasore cyangwa abagabo bafite amafaranga menshi cyane kandi bayarekura – mugushaka no kwereka ko bakunze cyane, ntibaba bakunze cyangwa bakeneye wowe ahubwo baba bishakira amafaranga ndetse n’ibintu bihenze cyane. Iyo ugeregeze kuvuga kumafaranga, bishobora kukugora cyane kuba wamenya neza umukobwa ugukunze neza cyangwa uwikundiye amafaranga utunze. Bishobora gutuma ugwa murujijo, mu gihirahira ndetse ukaba wakibaza icyo wakora kugira uzabone umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri utagukundiye imitungo wibitseho. Dore icyo benshi muri twe tutabasha kumva neza cyerekeye amashusho y’indirimbo nyinshi cyane zikorwa, nuko muri ariya mashusho abahanzi bakora ibishoboka bagakodesha abanyamideli cyangwa abandi bakobwa basamaje kugira babagire muri Videos. Bashyira benshi mu gihirahiro, bagatuma bamwe batekerezako abakobwa bose kandi beza bagukundira by’ukuri ko ufite amafaranga menshi cyane.

Nibyo koko, BARABISHYURA! Kenshi na kenshi usanga abo bakobwa ari ababyina mutubari, abirirwa bishyira kukarubandi kumbuga nkoranyambaga bampaye bidasanzwe n’ibindi ariko si abakobwa b’icyitegererezo mu mico no mu myifatire ushaka ko mwamarana igihe kirekire murukundo. Kuba rero watekerezako amafaranga yatuma umukobwa akwegurira umutima we wose byakica amahirwe yo kubona ugukunda by’ukuri. Gutekerezako kuba ukennye byatuma umukobwa akwanga, ni imyumvire mibi.

Abagore cyangwa abakobwa usanga ava k’umusore cyangwa umugabo ukize ndetse ufite amafaranga menshi akajya kwishakira umugabo ukennye, iki ni kimwe mubaykwereka ko igitsinagore kidakururwa n’amafaranga. Nibyiza kuba umukire kandi ukagira imitungo myinshi kuko bizatuma ubaho neza kandi bikaba bigaragaza ingufu ukoresha mukubaho, ariko ntuzakoreshe amafaranga ngo nukugira umukobwa cyangwa umugore agukunde by’ukuri.

3.Icyo ugendaho/mo nticyatuma umukobwa akwimariramo.

Abakobwa cyangwa abagore bashimishwa no kubona ufite imodoka nziza kandi ihenze cyane, kuburyo anagusaba ko wamutwaramo, gusa igitangaje nuko kuba ufite iyo modoka bitatuma akwimariramo burundu. Imodoka nziza icyo yagukorera ni ukukuzanira babakobwa baba bashaka kwigaragaza neza mu miryango, bakajya bayifotorezaho, ukabatwara kandi bakabona uko bafata amafoto meza yo gushyira kuri Instagram na Facebook.

4. Inzu ubamo ntiyatuma umukobwa akwimariramo.

Umukobwa cyangwa umugore ashobora kubona inzu yawe akabona ni nziza kandi ihura neza n’inzozi ze ariko bituma yumva agukunze by’agahe gato. Iyo abona inzu cyangwa inyubako zawe zihenze cyane agasanga imyitwarire ndetse n’imyifatire yawe ntibihuje agaciro nizo nzu cyangwa inyubako, ahita aguta. Akeneye ko ari wowe ubwawe umutwara umutima, atari ibyo utunze urimo ukoresha kugira bigufashe akazi udashoboye.

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Ibintu 20 umukobwa yakora agatuma umusore wese yifuza kumugira umugore we.

Burya n’ubwo abasore bose badateye kimwe, hari ibintu bahuriyeho nk’imyumvire n’imitekerereze rusange, bityo ibi bikaba ari ibintu 20 byafasha umukobwa wifuza kuba uw’igikundiro ku mukunzi we, akabasha kunogera no kwishimirwa n’umusore bakundana kuburyo amwifuzaho kuba yamubera umufasha.

1. Gerageza kugaragara neza uko ushoboye kose

Abasore burya bakururwa cyane n’ibigaragara kandi aba yumva yaterwa ishema no kugira umukunzi ugaragara neza, umwe azahura nawe ari kumwe n’inshuti ze ntagire ipfunwe ryo kuziratira ko ariwe mwamikazi w’umutima we. Iyiteho kandi ugaragaze isuku nk’umwari ubikwiye koko aho unyura abone ko uhanyurana umucyo.

2. Hora iteka ufite impumuro nziza

Abasore burya n’ubwo atari ko bose bakunda kwitera imibavu ariko burya bakunda cyane umukobwa uhumura neza, umwe umusuhuza akamuhobera bamara gutandukana akumva aracyumva impumuro ye. Nk’inkumi ni byiza ko uzajya uzirikana kujya imbere ye cyangwa guhura nawe wikozeho rwose impumuro imeze neza, uzasanga iteka yifuza kuba kumwe nawe kandi nimunatandukana ntuzigera umuva mu bitekerezo.

3. Irinde kumuhoza ku nkeke no kumugaya buri gihe.

Aha munyumve neza mwa nkumi mwe sinshaka kuvuga ko umukunzi wawe natakwitaho, nakora amafuti cyangwa ikindi kidahwitse utazamugaya, ahubwo icyo nshaka kuvuga hano ni uko uzabikorana ubwenge. Wowe uhera ku byiza bye ukajya umushima noneho ibyo atakoraga neza akabikora neza noneho agirango ashimwe aho kubikorera ko wamutonganyije.

Urugero hano nabaha, egera umukunzi wawe niba wenda akunda inzoga cyane, umubwire uti: “Uti ariko rata uri umusore mwiza! Nkunda uburyo ugira umurava n’ubwo akenshi uteshuka kubera inzoga” Nkubwije ukuri ko natanagira icyo abivugaho azaba aritaye mu gutwi kandi azumva ko akwiye kuba yazireka kugirango umushime.

4. Mukunde kandi ubyerekane

Muri iki gihe usanga abantu benshi bavuga ngo urukundo rw’ubu nta kigenda, ngo abakobwa b’ubu baratendeka n’ibindi nk’ibyo. Wowe rero mwereke itandukaniro ryawe n’abandi, wikwitwararika ngo wumve ko yazakureka ugaseba ahubwo mukunde, umuteteshe, umwereke ko ufite ishema rye mu bandi uzaba aribwo uharaniye ko atarota akureka. Nubikora neza azumva ko ntaho yagusiga ajya kandi yumve ko ntacyo yakuburanye yaba ajya gushaka.

5. Ikunde wowe ubwawe

Ntugakunde kubwira umukunzi wawe ibibi wibonaho, ngo umubaze ngo ariko ubu kuba narabyibushye cyane ntibikubangamira?…Nsigaye nanga ukuntu ngana, nsigaye narabaye igikara… Nonese numara kumwereka ko wowe ubwawe utikunze kandi utifitiye icyizere niwe uzakikugirira? Sigaho wiba umupfapfa, wowe wabyibuha, wananuka, uruhu rwawe rwahinduka, mwekere ko ukifitiye icyizere kandi wirinde kumwereka ibyo uzi nk’inenge kuri wowe kuko ushobora gutuma ahita ashishoza akanabaza abandi bamuvugira mu matwi ugasanga urisenyeye.

6. Irinde gutuma afuha kandi umurwanire ishyaka.

Kuba waba udaca inyuma umukunzi wawe ntibihagije, ukwiye no gukora ibishoboka ngo atagukeka akaba yagufuhira. Niba agukunda, yumva ko uri umukobwa n’abandi basore bifuza nk’uko nawe byagenze bityo akumva ko isaha n’isaha bagutwara. Uko umusore agukunda cyane niko arushaho kumva afite impungenge kuko aba yumva ufite agaciro gahambaye buri wese ukureba akubonamo. Kora ibishoboka byose rero ugabanye urukururano n’abandi basore, ugabanye gutaha amajoro cyane no kugira gahunda zidasobanutse kandi utanazimubwiye, mbese ukore ibishoboka byose ye kujya ahagarika umutima ko hari abandi mufitanye umubano wihariye.

7. Kunda inshuti ze

Niba umusore mukundana afite abasore bagenzi be ubona ko ari inshuti magara, ibuka ko bafite ibyo bahuriyeho kandi bashobora kuba baranamugiriye inama igihe yafataga umwanzuro wo kugusaba urukundo. Wihita uhubuka ngo werekane ko inshuti ze ntaho uhuriye nazo ahubwo ereka umukunzi wawe ko wubaha kandi ukunda inshuti ze ubigiriye we, bizatuma arushaho kugira ishema kandi n’ikibazo mwagirana cyose za nshuti ze zakuvugira neza ku mukunzi wawe igihe cyose waba warazisanzuyeho ukazereka ko koko uri umukobwa w’umutima.

8. Mwereke ko uzi guteka kandi wifuza kuzajya umutekera

Iki ni ikintu abakobwa badaha agaciro cyane ariko mbabwije ukuri burya umusore wese aho ava akagera akunda umukobwa uzi guteka, akunda kuba yazagera aho atekerwa n’umugore, mbese ni ibintu bashyira imbere cyane. N’ubwo mwaba mutarabana rero, ntuzakore ikosa ryo kwakiriza umukunzi wawe ibiryo byatetswe n’umukozi. Nibiba ngombwa jya ureka abanze ahagere maze ushyashyane vuba umutekere; ibyo bihita bituma mu mutwe we atangira kwitekerereza nk’igihe waba umutekera mubana… Aha n’abagore bumvireho, mbere yo kwibaza impamvu umugabo wawe yaryamana n’umukozi, banza wibaze impamvu buri gihe yajya yakirwa n’umukozi ku meza. Yego ntiwareka akazi, ariko kandi igihe utakoze ntuzigere uha umwanya umukozi ngo ateke, kandi no mu gihe cy’akazi nabwo jya wegera umugabo umubaze uti uyu munsi tugutekere iki mugabo mwiza? Nubimubaza azumva ko n’ubwo byatekwa n’umukozi aba yabibwirijwe na nyirabuja.

9. Mukunde nk’ufite uwo murushanwa.

Bajya bavuga ngo abagore n’abakobwa bagira inzaratsi. Ibyo nanjye ndabyemera ko zibaho ariko izo nemera si ibyo byatsi n’ibipfuye amaso bindi ntazi, inzaratsi ni ugukunda umukunzi wawe nk’ufite uwo murushanwa, ukamugenera impano, ukajya umukorera utuntu mbese wumva ko nta wundi wabasha kutumukorera ndetse ko n’uwabigerageza atageza ahawe, uba umwifatiye rwose aragenda agatwarwa umutima we ukawigarurira wose uko wakabaye.

10. Menya kumutetesha

Gutetesha burya bibaho mu buryo bwinshi. Ni byiza ko uzirikana ko gushima ibyiza biri ku mukunzi wawe ari ingenzi cyane, ahita yumva ko ahantu akunzwe, ashimwa ntacyo yahanganya. Mwereke ko umuha agaciro kandi ko ari ingenzi cyane kuri wowe, umwereke ko akurutira byose kandi umurutisha bose, umwite utuzina tuzatuma koko yiyumva nk’udasanzwe kuri wowe.

11. Mwereke ko umufuhira.

Iyo tuvuze gufuha ntituba tuvuze gukabya. Niba rero umukunzi wawe umukunda, ibuka ko nyine hari n’inzindi nkumi zitabarika zimwifuza, umwereke ko ubizi ko ari mwiza kandi akurura abandi bakobwa, umwereke ko wababazwa no kumubona akundana n’undi mbese yumve ko nawe uzi ko afite igikundiro atari imbere yawe gusa ahubwo n’imbere y’abandi bakobwa.

12. Kora uko ushoboye yiyumve nk’umugabo uhamye

Burya abasore n’iyo baba batarashaka baba bifuza kwitwa abagabo. Niba umukunzi wawe mutarabana, hari uburyo wajya umwereka ko ari umugabo kandi ntacyo abura ngo abe umugabo nyawe n’ubwo igihe cyo kubana cyaba kitaragera. Mwite papa w’abana uzabyara, nimugirana gahunda umubwire uti umugabo niwe ufata umwanzuro mu rugo, nimuba muri kuganira umubwire uti “mbona uzambera umugabo w’igitangaza,… Ibyo byose bigenda bituma yiyumva nk’uwarangije kuba umugabo wawe kandi akumva ko akwiye kubiharanira kugeza abigezeho.

13. Tangira umubere umufasha

Iyo umusore afashe icyemezo cyo gushaka, aba yifuza umufasha bazashyira hamwe bagafatanya gukorera urugo, akamubera umujyanama, akamubera umuterankunga mu bitekerezo n’ibindi nk’ibyo. N’ubundi rero mukobwa, n’ubwo mwaba mutarabana birahagije kuba mukundana ngo ujye ubasha kumwungura inama, niba uziko arimo gutegura umunshinga runaka ushake uburyo bwose wamwungura igikerekezo, nugira aho ubona ikiraka cyangwa ikindi cyamugirira akamaro umurangire mbese umwereke ko ushishikajwe cyane n’iterambere rye.

14. Gerageza kwiteza imbere no kwita ku buzima bwawe bw’ahazaza

Ereka umukunzi wawe ko ushoboye, niba ufite akazi ugakore neza, niba uri umunyeshuri wige neza ushyizeho umwete kandi niba utanafite akazi ube umukobwa w’imishinga, kuburyo ubushake bwawe anabishoye yagutera inkunga. Niba ufite akazi wikwemera ko buri gihe ariwe uzajya wishyura buri gihe uko musohokanye, fata igihe nawe wishyure umwereke ko nawe uri umukobwa wihagazeho kandi wabasha kwirwanaho, ibi bizamwereka ko nimunabana atazita ku rugo wenyine kandi binamuhamirize ko utari muri babandi bita “abakuzi b’ibyinyo”

15. Muhe umwanya, wimucungacunga cyane

Burya abahungu ntibakunda kwerekwa n’abakunzi babo ko babacungacunga kuri buri kantu, muhe rero umwanya n’ubwisanzure ureke yiyumvemo ubwigenge no kwifatira ibyemezo bityo azanumva ko akwiye kubikubahira no kwitwara neza, abikore kuko ari ngombwa atari ukubikora kuko wamucungacunze.

16. Gerageza kuba isoko y’ibyishimo n’umunezero bye

Burya iyo umuntu uwo ariwe wese atekereza ibyo kwinjira mu rukundo, nta kindi kintu aba ashyize imbere cyane kitari ugushaka umunezero n’ibyishimo biva mu rukundo. Gerageza rero nawe mukobwa, ukore ibishoboka byose umushimishe kandi burya abasore ntibagorana, kumuganiriza, kumubwira utuntu twiza wabonye, kumubwira udukuru dushimishije byose bimutwara umutima akumva ko ari wowe soko yavomaho umunezero buri gihe.

17. Wikumva ko wageze iyo ujya ngo uterere agati mu ryinyo

Abakobwa benshi ndetse n’abagore, iyo bamaze igihe kinini bakundana n’abakunzi babo hari ubwo bajya bakora ikosa ryo kumva ko bafatishije, ko hari ibitakiri ngombwa ko bakora kuko barangije kwizera ko bakunzwe. Oya wikwishuka rwose, urukundo ni nk’umuzabibu ukenera kuhirirwa, kuvomererwa no gufumbirwa na nyuma y’uko wera imbuto. Nunamara kuba umugore, uzakunde kuzirikana cyane bya bintu wakoraga kera ugirango umushimishe kuko niba biri mu byamunyuze akumva ko mwanabana akaramata, ni uko nyine nabyo yabyifuzaga iteka. Wicika intege rero urukundo rukeneye guhora rwuhirirwa iteka.

18. Fata umwanya nawe ubwe umwiteho

Iyo wamaze gukundana n’umusore ndetse mukagera kuri rwa rwego utangira no gutekereza ibyo kuba mwarushinga, jya uhita unazirikana ko ugomba gutangira gukora bimwe mu byo ugomba kuzakora mwabanye. Menya rero kwita ku musore mukundana hakiri kare, umumenyere imyenda imubera umubwire ayigure cyangwa se umufashe kuyigura, nibinaba ngombwa ndetse mu gihe ubishoboye ujye uba ari wowe uyimugurira. Umumenyere umubavu akwiye kwitera, ujye rimwe na rimwe umuterera agapasi cyangwa unakore ibindi wazanakora mwabanye.

19. Ba umukobwa kandi witware nkabo

Muri iki gihe usanga hari abakobwa bamwe na bamwe bitiranya ibijyanye n’uburinganire ndetse n’ubwuzuzanye, ugasanga bo barabifata nko kwigira ibyigenge bakitwara uko bishakiye. Itware nk’umwari ubereye u Rwanda, umenye ko utagomba kuba umukobwa w’akabari nka bamwe bajya bitwara gutyo, umenye ko utagomba gutaha igicuku no kwigira intakoreka mu muryango ukomokamo.

20. Mwereke ko unyurwa kandi ureke kumuzanaho ibikangisho

Abahungu burya banga abakobwa babashyiraho ibikangisho, bamwe baba bababwira ngo nudakora iki bizagenda gutya, ngo uramutse ukoze ibi ibyanjye nawe byahita birangirira aho, ngo nukora iki ntuzongere kumvugisha,… Wimuzanaho ibikangisho umwereka ko akwiye guterwa ubwoba n’uko wamwanga kuko watuma abikorera icyo cyangwa we agahita akureka. Menya kumwubaha no kumwereka ko ari we mwanzuro w’ubuzima bwawe.

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Dore amakosa akomeye abakobwa bakora agatuma bagumirwa

Urukundo rugamije kuzabana nk’umugore n’umugabo mu rugo ni ikintu gikomeye kandi rukaba n’umushinga ushobora guhomba iyo utizwe neza, ikaba ari yo mpamvu iyo umusore cyangwa se umukobwa agiye guhitamo uwo bazarushingana ashyiramo ubushishozi budasanzwe.

Muri ubu bushishozi rero ngo ni ho abakobwa bamwe na bamwe baburira amanota ugasanga batandukanye n’abasore bakundanye igihe.

Iri bengwa rero ahanini ngo riterwa n’amakosa 5 nyamukuru akorwa n’abakobwa mu gihe cyo gukundana no kurambagizanya, aho ushobora guhora wibaza impamvu umukobwa ashobora kuba afite uburanga, ikinyabupfura, imyitwarire myiza ndetse n’ibindi bitandukanye ariko yakundana n’umusore ntibamarane kabiri cyangwa se ntihagire umubwira ngo bakomezanye mu rukundo abe yamugira umufasha (amushyire mu mago). Ibi rero ngo nta kindi kibitera, bituruka kuri amwe mu makosa akorwa muri urwo rugendo rw’urukundo bikaba byanaviramo umukobwa kugumirwa.

Urubuga rwa internet: ivillage.com rugaragaza ko ayo makosa ni aya akurikira:

1. Kwibwira ko hari ibyangombwa byo gukundwa utujuje

Ibi ngo bituma abakobwa benshi biyiziho inenge runaka batiyakira, hagira n’umusore ugukundira ikintu runaka yakubonyeho kikamushimisha atitaye kuri iyo nenge y’inyuma wiyiziho ukumva ko ngo akubeshya, ugahora ushidikanya. Ibi ngo bikaba ari kimwe mu bituma abasore barambirwa bakigira kwishakira abanyurwa no guhabwa urukundo. Ibi kandi ngo nta kindi kibibatera, ni uko ngo umusore aba yumva ko nakugira n’umugore uzaba umwe utemera cyangwa se utanyurwa.

2. Kumva ko ushaka umusore ufite uburanga bw’akataraboneka

Abakobwa usanga bifuza gukundwa n’abasore beza ngo kuko nibabereka bagenzi babo bari bubyishimire cyangwa se bakubahwa mu muryango kurusha kwita ku musore ufite urukundo n’ibitekerezo kandi ngo usanga bene aba basore kuko baba bakundwa n’abakobwa benshi bahora bashaka kwigumira mu busore bakaryoherwa na bwo hanyuma abo bakundanye bagahera mu gihirahiro, ndetse rimwe na rimwe hakabaho igihe banatwarwa n’abandi bakobwa bakurusha amarere mu rukundo. Hanyuma umukobwa ugasanga akomeje guhagarara kuri icyo kintu ngo afite umusore w’igitangaza, haza n’abandi bifitemo ibitekerezo akabanga bikarangira imyaka ibaye myinshi n’uwo wari urindiriye ukamubura.

3. Kumva ko umusore mukundana mugomba guhorana igihe cyose

Usanga abakobwa bashaka ko abasore b’inshuti zabo babafata nk’imfungwa ntibabahe umwanya wo kugenda no gukora gahunda zabo bonyine. Ibi rero ngo bibangamira abasore batari bake kuko ngo iyo witwara gutya akubonamo nk’utagira icyo yitaho cyazateza imbere urugo rwanyu kuko aba yibaza niba mubanye wazajya umuha akanya ko gutekereza, kuganira n’abandi no kwishimira ibyo akunda kuko ngo iyo ubikoze gutya yumva ko ushaka kumugira imfungwa. Rero ngo bene iyi myitwarire ishobora gutuma umusore agucikaho utakubwiye n’impamvu akajya kwishakira uzamureka agahumeka kandi akamufata nk’umutu ufite uburenganzira bwo kwisanzura no kubaho ubuzima yishimiye.

4. Kwishimira abandi basore kurusha uwo muri kumwe mu rukundo

Iki ngo ni ikintu usanga abakobwa benshi badaha agaciro ariko rwose ngo gishobora kuba intandaro yo kubengwa n’abasore batari bake bikazatuma ugumirwa kuko ngo mu gihe ubona abasore bose ukumva nta kibazo kuko ari incuti z’incuti yawe, kuko muturanye, mwigana se ndetse n’ibindi hanyuma ukabikoraho ibyo ushaka byose (ukabisanzuraho birengeje urugero), menya ko bidashimisha abasore na mba kuko biba bibaha ishusho y’umugore uzaba we ko ushobora kuzamuca inyuma n’ibindi, kandi ibi bibabaza umusore rwose akaba yumva adashobora kukugira umugore kuko yazagusangira na benshi. Aha rero ngo bisaba kwitwararika bose ukababona nk’abasanzwe.

5. Kwihagararaho mu makosa

Aha ngo usanga hari abakobwa benshi baba bafite incuti zabo bakazereka ko gukora ikosa ari ibisanzwe, yaba yakoze ikintu umusore ntakishimire yabimubwira, ugasanga aho gusaba imbabazi mu magaguru mashya ahubwo yihagazeho akumva ko atari ikosa, bakiterera mu birere! Iki ngo ni ikintu gikomeye umuhungu w’incuti areberaho niba uzamucira bugufi mu rugo, na cyane ko abagabo baba bifuza abagore bifitemo guca bugufi no gusaba imbabazi. Rero nubona umusore agusezereye akisangira undi, ni uko iyo ndangagaciro yo guca bugufi ngo usabire ikosa imbabazi, wiyoroshye, aba yayikubuzeho.

Niba rero uri umukobwa wifuza kuzashyirwa mu rugo ukagira umuryango ariko ukaba hari amakosa amwe mu yavuzwe ujya ukora mu rukundo, ubwo utangire kwikosora no kugira icyo uhindura naho ubundi ngo bitabaye ibyo ushobora kwigumira iwanyu ukazahasazira.

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