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Amarenga 7 wakora umuntu agahita agukunda

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Benshi ntibita ku mikoreshereze y’amarenga (body language), nyamara ugendeye ku gitabo cya Leil Lowndes yise “How To Talt To Anyone” ugenekereje mu Kinyarwanda bivuga “uko wavugisha buri wese”, ushobora kubona uko wakwigarurira umutima w’umuntu mu kanya gato utavuze ijambo na rimwe.
Hagendewe ku bivugwa mu gitabo cya Lowndes, dore amwe mu marenga wakoresha ugatuma umuntu agukunda byihuse.

1. Inseko nziza

Uyu mugabo Lowndes agaragaza ko atari byiza gusekera umuntu ukimusuhuza ako kanya; ngo iyo ubikoze bishobora guha amahirwe n’abandi bari aho bakamenya icyo ugambiriye. Uburyo bwiza bwo gutwara umuntu ukoresheje inseko ni ukwitonda, ukamureba mu maso nk’isegonda hanyuma ukareka mu maso hawe hagataha umucyo ukamusekera inseko nziza, bimwe Abanyarwanda bavuga ngo “Araseka amasaro agaseseka”.

N’ubwo iyo nseko itamara amasegonda menshi, izemeza uwo muntu ko koko ari we igenewe. Ku bwa Lowndes ngo inseko nziza ishobora kukongerera ubutunzi n’icyizere abantu bakugirira.

2. Reba mu maso uwo muvugana

Igihe uvugana n’umuntu, mera nk’aho amaso yawe amuteyeho, kabone n’ubwo yaba yarangije kuvuga, ntukarebe hirya uko wiboneye. Niba wumva ushaka kuba wareba ku ruhande bikore witonze kandi gahoro, kugeza igihe amaso yanyu atandukaniye. Ushobora no kugerageza kubara inshuro uwo muri kuvugana ahumbya. Ibi byagaragaje ko ababikora bakundwa cyane na bagenzi babo.

3. Gutumbera umuntu

Iyo uri mu bantu benshi, ku bw’amahirwe ushobora kubona umuntu ukumva uramwishimiye, murebe umutumbere utitaye ku muntu uri kuvuga. Iyo umurebye cyane n’ubwo yaba ari kumva ibivugwa, ahita abona neza ko umwitayeho birenze cyangwa se wamwishimiye.

Gusa ugomba kumenya ko gutumbera umuntu cyane bishobora kumutera isoni mu bandi. Ugomba kureba uvuga ariko yaba atari kuvuga ingingo zikomeye ugatumbera umwe wishimiye.

4. Garagaza urukundo nk’urwo ugaragaza ku mwana muto

Abantu bose bita cyane ku buryo bitwara iyo bahuye n’abandi bwa mbere. Iyo uhuye n’umuntu bwa mbere igire nk’aho ubonye akana gato gateye amabengeza umugaragarize urukundo rutagabanyije, mbese nk’urwo waha akana gato kaje gakambakamba kakuririra ku birenge byawe. Urugero: Ushobora kubwira umuntu muhuye bwa mbere uti “Yo! Uri igitangaza”.

5. Gabanya ubukubaganyi no kwikorakoraho

Niba wifuza ko abantu bakugirira icyizere, gerageza kugaragaza kudakubagana cyane igihe uganira nabo. Tuza, wigira ubwoba, wizenguruka cyane cyangwa ngo ushishure/ ushwanyaguze ikintu ufite. Lowndes avuga ko gukomeza kwikorakoraho nko mu maso, ku zuru, ku kananwa, ku munwa n’ahandi bishobora gutuma batekeraza ko ushobora kuba uri kubabeshya cyangwa utifitiye icyizere. Gerageza kureba uwo muvugana umugaragarize ko ibyo uri kumubwira ubishyizeho umutima kandi ubifite mu biganza byawe.

6. Irinde kuzinga umunya

Uburyo wifata mu bantu ni yo ntsinzi ya mbere. Irinde kuzinga umunya mu maso uhorane isura icyeye. Uko winjiye mu muryango jya utunguka ku bo usanze ucyeye mu maso.

7. Muraho nshuti

Nuhura n’umuntu bwa mbere, ifate nk’aho ari inshuti yawe ya kera, ibi bituma ibyiyumvo byawe kuri we byiyongera kuva ku ndoro yawe kugeza ku mano. Icyiyongera kuri ibi ni uko iyo ukoze nk’aho wakunze umuntu, ubwo buhanuzi bugusohoreramo ugasanga watangiye koko kumukunda.

Ibi bivuzwe haruguru nubyitaho, ukagerageza gukoresha amarenga, ukirinda kuvuga menshi, ushobora gusekerwa n’amahirwe yo kubona urukundo wifuzaga kuva kera.

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Dore ibyo buri mukobwa wese aba yibaza mbere yo kurongorwa

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Bifata igihe kugira ngo umukobwa yemerere umusore runaka ko bazabana, kuko abanza kureba niba koko uwo ubimusaba afite ibyangombwa bihagije byo gutunga urugo cyangwa niba koko ari we yifuzaga.

Ku bakobwa benshi, usanga igitekerezo cyo kubaka urugo ari nk’inzozi zigiye gusohora, ariko nubwo bimeze bityo, umukobwa wese aba yifuza kuba yagira urugo rwiza kandi rushimishije.

nk’uko tubikesha urubuga yourtango.coom rugaragaza ibintu bimwe na bimwe umukobwa utarashyingirwa ariko ugejeje igihe cyo gushaka aba atekereza ku bijyanye n’urugo rwe rw’ahazaza.

• Umukobwa aba atekereza ko kuzashinga umuryango bizamuha ibyishimo by’ubuzima bwe bwose asigaje ku Isi. • Aba ashaka ko umugabo bazabana azakomeza kumukunda no kumutetesha mu byiza no mu bibi.

• Aba ashaka ko umugabo we azamubera indahemuka kuko kumuca inyuma byakomeretsa umutima we. • Aba ashaka kuzabana n’umugabo uzajya ahora amurwanira ishyaka buri munsi kandi akamwubaha.

• Uretse kuba yashaka umugabo umukunda, aba anifuza umugabo uzamufasha kuzuza inshingano z’urugo, agakunda abana kandi akabitaho.

• Aba yifuza kuzashaka umuntu bazajya bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina kandi wenyine ntawundi bamusangira.

• Aba yifuza kuzashaka umugabo utazagira ikintu na kimwe yamuhisha cyangwa amukinga ku bireba urugo rwabo.

• Umuntu uzaba ari umuterankunga kandi umufasha kugera ku nzozi ze • Ashaka umugabo utazamushyigikira mu makosa, uzajya amukosora kandi akamufasha muri byose.

• Ahora yifuza guteteshwa no kwitabwaho bitarangira nk’aho bakimurambagiza.

• Aba yifuza umugabo usobanutse kandi uzi kuganira, uzajya amutega amatwi kandi akamubonera umwanya bagakina.

SOURCE: ISIMBI.RW

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Ibintu 5 utagomba gukora nyuma yo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe

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Gutandukana bishobora kuba byiza cyangwa bibi bitewe n’impamvu yatumye mutandukana. Abantu babiri bafite imibanire myiza bemerenyijeho mbere yo gukundana bashobora gutandukana igihe babona ibyo bari bateze kubona cyangwa kugeraho ataribyo bari kubona.

Ariko rero buri gihe ntabwo abantu batandukana babyemeranyijeho iyo batandukanye nabi umwe ashobora guhungabana cyangwa bombi bagahungabana.
Iki gihe ntabwo biba byoroshye gutandukana nuwo wakundaga gusa niba waratandukanye n’umukunzi wawe hari inama ugirwa:

1.Ntukirenganye ngo wumve ko ari wowe munyamakosa

Aha niho ihungabana ritangirira ku bantu benshi nyuma gutandukana nabi n’umukunzi wawe. Aho kugira ngo bigire ku mubano mwiza bagiranye, bagenda bicuza uburyo batandukanye. Ibi ntabwo aribyo, nubwo waba warakoze ikintu gikomeye cyane bigatuma utandutandukana n’umukunzi wawe kwigaya ntacyo bizahindura kubyabaye.

Ikintu ushobora gukora ni ukwigira ku makosa yawe igihe cyagera ukongera gukunda ukirinda kuba wakongera kuyasubiramo bikagufasha kubana neza n’umukunzi wawe mushya. Nutabikora gutyo uzaheranwa n’agahinda umere nk’imfungwa mu bitekerezo byawe mu gihe uwo mwatandukanye yishimye kandi yatangiye ubuzima bushya.

2.Ntukajye ahantu uri wenyine

Ni ibintu bisanzwe ko umuntu watandukanye nabi n’umukunzi we amara igihe kinini ari wenyine kubera umubabaro n’agahinda aho kugira ngo ave mu kababaro no kwikuramo ibyamukomerekeje umutima ubundi ubuzima buakomeza.

Agahinda ntikazigera na rimwe kagira icyo gahindura ku byabaye ahubwo bizarushaho kuba bibi. Kuba wenyine no kwirinda kujya ahantu hari abantu benshi kubera ko watandukanye n’umukunzi wawe nta cyiza bizakuzanira ahubwo bizakujyana kure y’ibyishimo.

Nyuma yo gutandukana nabi nuwo wakundaga ikizagufasha ni ukuba hamwe n’abantu benshi, inshuti zawe, umuryango no gusohokera kure yaho utuye ubonye ayo mahirwe nukora ibyo uzagenda wibagirwa buhoro buhoro ibyakubabaje umutima. Kenshi uzumva ushaka kuba uri wenyine ariko uzabirwanye cyane ubundi urebe ukuntu wibagirwa ibyo waciyemo bikagukomeretsa umutima.
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3.Kwirinda gukururana nuwo mwatandukanye

Hari impamvu yatumye utandukana nuwo mwakundanaga kuko utari ukimufitiye umumaro nka mbere. Uko byaba byaragenze kose nta mpamvu yo gusubira kumutakambira ngo musubirane kuko niyo yabyemera ntazagufata nkuko yagufataga mbere ntazakubaha nkuko bikwiye.

Nta mpamvu rero yo kugira ngo umuntu agusuzugure nubwo wakumva hari icyo wakoze mugatandukana iyo aba akigukeneye ntiyari gutuma mutandukana. Kuba uri wenyine warigeze kugira umukunzi birababaza kandi biragora ariko biruta kuba waba uri kumwe n’umuntu utaguha agaciro. Tangira ubuzima bushya uzongera ubone urundi rukundo rushobora no kuba rwiza kuruta urwa mbere.

4.Wikwihutira guhita ushaka undi mukunzi

Byagaragajwe ko kwihutira guhita ukunda ntabwo biba byiza. Biterwa nuko umuntu aba yihutiye guhita akunda ataragenzura neza uwo bagiye gukundana.

Nkuko igitangazamakuru elcrema kibivuga ikintu kibi cyo gutandukana nabi n’umukunzi nuko wumva buri gihe uri wenyine, ibyo bituma wihutira kwakira uje agusanga wese cyane cyane iyo yakubaye hafi kurusha abandi mu gihe cy’akababaro.

Gusa ukwiriye kwirinda guhita usubira mu rukundo kuko muri wowe uba utarakira ibyakubayeho no mu mutwe utarahategura kwakira undi mukunzi. Ukeneye igihe cyo gusubiza ibitekerezo ku murongo kugira ngo wongere wihe intego ugenderaho mu rukundo no kuba wahitamo neza igihe wumva ari ngombwa kongera kugira umukunzi. Si byiza kwirukira kongera gukunda ahubwo ihe igihe ubanze utuze ubone kongera gushaka umukunzi.

5.Wihita ufata icyemezo cyo kutazongera gukunda ukundi

Niba urukundo wari urimo bitaragenze neza nkuko wabyifuzaga ntibivuize ko ariko bizagenda niwongera gukunda. Umenye ko umuntu wese ubona urukundo rw’ukuri ashobora kuba yarabanje guhitamo nabi inshuro imwe cyangwa ebyiri. Ni kimwe mu bitugize nk’abantu.

Buri wese agiye ahita areka gukunda kuko ku nshuro ya mbere byagenze nabi nta bantu bishimye kubera urukundo baba bariho uyu munsi.

Icy’ingenzi ni ugukomeza ubuzima nkuko bisanzwe ukagira icyizere cyo kubona ibyiza. Ni ngombwa kandi kwitonda no kugenzura neza igihe ugiye guhitamo uwo muzabana kuko bishobora ku kugiraho ingaruka mbi cyangwa nziza bitewe nuwo wahisemo.

Mu rukundo ntabwo igihe cyose gahunda zanyu zigenda neza nkuko mwabiteganyije cyangwa mu bishaka rimwe na rimwe haboneka ibyo mutumvikanaho bikaba byatuma mutandukana gusa iryo siryo herezo ry’urukundo rwawe ahubwo ugomba gufata umwanya ugatuza igihe kiragera ukabona undi mu kishima mu rukundo rwanyu.

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Ibintu abakobwa bakora abahungu bakifuza kuryamana nabo

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Hari ibintu byinshi kandi byoroshye wakora bigatuma umuhungu yumva agushatse kandi utamukozeho cyangwa ngo umuvugishe ibyo bigaterwa n’uko umukobwa aba yabyitwayemo, gusa si buri mukobwa wabikora siburiwese wakora.

1.kwita kubwiza bwawe (kwirunga): ujye ugera geza kuba wowe ntukifuze gusa n’undi muntu wundi wigeze kubona , gerageza uhange ubwiza bwawe.

2.Amavuta wakwisiga: Haramavuta ushobora kuba warabonye cyangwa ukumva bayavuga nyamara nta makuru uyafiteho ahagije ugasanga yangije uruhu rwawe ugomba gushaka amavuta ajyanye n’uruhu rwawe.

3. Imiziki ukunda kumva:buriya hari imiziki umuntu ashobora kumva igatuma yibaza impamvu uri kuyumva cyane imiziki y’urukundo (romantic) ishobora kuba intwaro yogutuma umuntu akwiyumvamo bidasanzwe

4. Kwikorakoraho: buriya iyo urikumwe n’umuntu mudahuje igitsina uko wikoraho kubice bitandukanye by’umubiri wawe bituma wamuntu murikumwe yumva akwifuje bityo ugasanga uramufatishije kandi utamuvugishije.

SOURCE: ISIMBI.RW

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Ibimenyetso 5 simusiga bizakwereka ko umukobwa mukundana agukunda by’ukuri

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Burya mu rukundo habaho ibintu byinshi bitandukanye kuba umukobwa umusabye urukundo akarukwemerera sibihagije ko wamwizera ngo aragukunda. Hari umukobwa ushobora kugukundira amafaranga cyangwa hari indi nyungu runaka agukeneyeho yamara kuyigeraho agahita akureka. Musore niba ufite umukobwa mukundana dore ibimenyetso bizakwereka ko uwo mukobwa agukunda by’ukuri.

1.Yifuza kukuba hafi iteka

Ahora iteka ashaka kuba hafi yawe, igihe mutari kumwe akakwandikira akubaza amakuru cyangwa se akaguhamagara ntarindire ko ari wowe umuhamagara gusa; ahanini uzumva akubaza niba wageze mu rugo mu gihe ukora cyangwa se uri umunyeshuri. Aba yumva kandi ashaka kumenya uko wiriwe, mbese uko umunsi wakugendekeye. Umukobwa ugukunda kandi uzumva yishimira kumenya gahunda zawe no kumenya ibyo utegenya gukora mu minsi y’ikiruhuko nka week-end .

Nawe kandi arakureka ukamenya amakuru ye ndetse nawe ubwe ukamumenya. Bene uyu mukobwa ntashobora kwibagirwa kuguhamagara cyangwa kukuvugisha ku itariki y’agaciro mu buzima bwanyu. Muri make, agerageza kumarana nawe igihe kirekire.

2.Akwereka umuryango we n’incuti ze

Uru aba ari urukundo rwuzuye kandi ni iby’agaciro mu gihe umukobwa afashe icyemezo cyo kukwereka ababyeyi be cyangwa abandi bantu bo mu muryango we ndetse n’inshuti ze za hafi adashatse kukugumisha mu kigare kimwe. Uyu mukobwa kandi ngo aba ashaka kugushyira hafi ye kugira ngo ukomeze umwiyumvemo ku bundi buryo. Ikindi umukobwa ugukunda yishimirako buri muntu amenya ko muri kumwe kandi akavuga ko mukundana uri inshutiye ya mbere.

3.Ni umukobwa wihagararaho kandi ugufitiye icyizere

Umukobwa nk’uyu aguha umwanya wawe wo gusohoka n’inshuti zawe kandi ntibimutere ikibazo. Ubundi azagera aho ategure kuza kukureba ari kumwe na bagenzi be. Ubushuti bufite icyizere bumara igihe kinini, buraramba kandi bukagenda bwaguka; ni ukuvuga ko umukobwa ukwizera akenshi aba anagukunda.

4.Umukobwa ugukunda rimwe na rimwe aragufuhira

Kuba umukunzi wawe agufuhira ntibizagutere ikibazo kuko burya iyo abagore bafushye bihita bigaragarira buri wese . Gufuha ntabwo ari ikimenyetso cy’urwango ahubwo ni urukundo rwinshi aba yifitemo; ni ukuvuga ko gufuha ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo. Nubona ikintu cyose uzakora kitababaza umukobwa mukundana cyangwa se ukabona atajya agufuhira na gato, uzamenye ko uwo mukobwa atakwitayeho .

5.Azakwibwirira ko agukunda

Ubundi ngo mu mibereho y’abakobwa hari amagambo abagora gukoresha nko kubwira umuhungu ko amukunda. Niwumva rero abivuze uzamenye ko byamuvunnye cyane . Burya umukobwa utagukunda by’ukuri ntiyapfa kubumbura umunwa we ngo akubwire ko agukunda yumva mu byiyumviro bye atari ko bimeze. Umukobwa rero uzakubwira ko agakunda uzamenyeko nta n’ikibazo yagira isi yose imenye ko agukunda; mbega aba akwishimiye anishimiye kuba ari kumwe nawe.

Niba rero ufite umukobwa wita ko ari inshuti yawe (girlfriend) ,ugasanga mu bimenyetso tuvuze haruguru nta na kimwe afite cyangwase akugaragariza menya ko atagukunda na buhoro ahubwo urebe uburyo wabona undi ugukunda kandi ubikwereka mu bikorwa no mu magambo.

SOURCE: ISIMBI.RW

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Dore ibintu 7 ukwiye kwirinda kubwira umukunzi wawe

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Abajyanama mu mibanire n’abafite ibyo bazi ku rukundo, bakunze guhuriza ku kuba abakundana bakwiye kwizerana no kutagira na kimwe bakingana.

Nubwo ntawabihakana kuko bigira uruhare runini mu gutuma umubano w’abakundana urushaho gushinga imizi kuko uba wubakiye ku kuri n’icyizere, urubuga Elcrema rugaragaza ko hari ibyo wavuga bikagusenyera.

Ni mu gihe ibyo bintu bigera kuri birindwi uramutse utabivuze n’ubundi bitabangamira icyizere ugirirwa n’umukunzi wawe.

Umubare w’abo mwakoranye imibonano mpuzabitsina

Hari bamwe usanga bagira umuco wo kuvuga umubare w’abantu bamaze gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina, ugasanga babifata nko gutebya abandi bagamije kwereka abo bakundana ko ari abanyakuri.

Impamvu iyo ariyo yose ariko, ugirwa inama yo kwirinda kubwira umukunzi wawe ibintu nk’ibi kuko bishobora kumukomeretsa kandi atari cyo wari ugamije, bikaba byanabaviramo guhita mutandukana.

Nubwo aba ari amateka yawe y’ahahise, nta muntu n’umwe ushobora kwishimira kumva ngo umukobwa cyangwa umusore bakundana yaryamanye na ba runaka, inshuro izi nizi.

Ibyerekeranye n’uwo mwatandukanye

Igihe winjiye mu rukundo rushya, ni byiza ko wibagirwa ibintu byose byabaye hagati y’abo mwigeze gukundana. Rekera uwo mwatandukanye mu mwanya we uhe ugaciro uwo ufite uyu munsi.

Uko waba wizeye umukunzi wawe, urwo agukunda rwose nta na rimwe azigera yishimira kumva amateka yawe n’uwo mwari kumwe mbere ye kuko mu matwi ye bizaba ari nko kumugereranya.

Abantu bagusaba urukundo

Ni kenshi uzumva wifuje kubwira umukunzi wawe abasore cyangwa abakobwa bakubwira ko bagukunda. Nubwo nta kibi uba ugamije, we ashobora kutabyakira uko wabimubwiye akaba yanakeka ko uteganya ku mwanga cyangwa kumuca inyuma.

Burya iyo umubwira ko hari abandi bantu bagukunda, ndetse ukanarengera ukamubwira abo aribo bituma atangira kwigereranya nabo ndetse akitakariza icyizere.

Abantu wumva ufitiye urukundo

Iyo ufite umukunzi kandi urukundo rwanyu rufite icyerekezo biba bisobanuye ko nta wundi muntu muba mugomba gukundana, ibi ariko ntibyabuza ko ushobora kubona undi muntu ukumva uramwishimiye cyangwa uramukunze.

Kirazira kubwira umukunzi wawe abandi bakobwa cyangwa abahungu wumva ufitiye urukundo keretse niba wumva witeguye gutandukana nawe.

Kumubwira ko winjiye mu mabanga ye

Twese iteka duhorana amatsiko yo kumenya ibiri muri telefoni, mu cyumba cyangwa ahandi abakunzi bacu babika iby’agaciro. Ibi ahanini tubikora tugamije kumenya niba ntacyo badukinga, cyangwa se igihe twumva hari ibyo dushidikanyaho.

Igihe ibi ubikoze irinde kugira icyo ubimubwiraho kabone n’ubwo wasangamo ibimenyetso bigaragaza amakosa agukorera, kuko ashobora kubyuririraho akakwereka ko utamwizera bikaba byakurura ubwumvikane buke hagati yanyu.

Kumubwira ko ukurikiranira hafi uwo bahoze bakundana

Kutiyizera no kumva ko ari ku rwego rurenze urwawe ku buryo bigoye kwemera ko agukunda, bishobora gutuma ukora ibikorwa bidasanzwe birimo nko gukurikiranira hafi ubuzima bwa buri munsi bw’uwo bahoze bakundana.

Ibi ariko ntibikwiye namba, kandi n’igihe ubikora si byiza ko ubimubwira kuko bishobora kumurakaza, cyangwa bikaba byanaba intandaro yo kuba yakwadukana kongera kuvugana nawe.

Kumubwira ko utiyumvamo inshuti ze n’umuryango

Kubera ko uri umuntu, birashoboka cyane ko utiyumvamo umuryango w’umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa mukundana cyangwa se ababyeyi be. Ibi kandi bishobora no kubaho ku nshuti ze.

Nubwo ntawakurenganyiriza ko utabiyumvamo, irinde kubibwira umukunzi wawe kuko bishobora gukurura urwango, cyangwa bigatuma hagati yanyu hazamo kwishishanya.

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